worst ever joke competition

[R1cho]

What goes oooooo?

A cow with no lips

 

[briggie]

What goes oooooo?

A cow with no lips

:jesterbg

 

[R1cho]

A girl is playing in her garden when she sees a gnome crouched in the corner with its head between its knees.

"Excuse me", says the girl, "Are you a Goblin?".

"No", says the gnome, "I've just got a headache".

 

[briggie]

Three women, a blonde, a brunette and a red head, were all astrophysicists.

The brunette said, 'I'm going to build a rocket and fly to the moon!'

'Well,' said the red head, 'I'M going to build a rocket and fly to Mars!'

Then the blonde said, 'I'm going to build a rocket and fly to the SUN!'

The others asked, 'But won't it be very hot there?'

'Don't worry,' the blonde replied, 'I'll go at night time!'

 

[elty001]

a man goes to the doctors with jelly in one ear and custard in the other.
the doctor asks what the problem is and the man replies you will have to speak up i'm a trifle deaf.

two parrots sitting on a perch.
one says to the other can you smell fish?


i was sat at home last night when there was a knock at the door.
i opened it and a six foot beetle punched me in the face...i'd heard there was a nasty bug going round...


two blokes dressed as nuns walking down the street,one turns to the other and says we have got to get out of this habbit.


an egg is natures chav.
it thinks its hard in its shell suit but underneath its just an immature chicken.

 

[elty001]

i was in my local shop this morning and i fancied a pack of biscuits.i asked the shop assistant how much they where and she said they are £1 a pack.
have you got anything a bit cheaper i asked and she replied you can have a pack of broken ones for 50p,so i replied can you break me a good pack then.

 

[clivvy]

Two women at a bus stop, minding their own business.....

 

[R1cho]

Simon Cowell, Louis Walsh and Cheryl Cole are walking along the street when Cheryl Cole trips and gets her head stuck between two bars, as quickly as possible Simon Cowell runs over whips off her knickers off and starts givin her one, once he's finished he turns around to Louis and says "alright your turn", Louis starts crying. Simon confused, asks Louis what's wrong, "my head won't fit between the bars".

 

[R1cho]

just had me water bill £180 the robbin twats....friggin oxfam can supply a whole village for just £2 a month

 

[R1cho]

Chilean miner making love to his wife for first time since release:Miner: 'Can we switch the lights off?' . . . Wife: 'Of course honey' . . . ...Miner: 'Can I have you from behind?' . . . Wife: 'Anything you want my brave boy' . . . Miner: 'Can I call you Pedro?

 

[briggie]

" mummy , mummy ... are birds made of metal ? "

" of course not my dear , why do you ask ? "

" i just heard daddy say he'd like to screw the arse off the bird next door "

 

[briggie]

Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner
"How can you tell one switch from another at night, as they all look the same ?"
"He replied, it does not matter which one you use, nothing happens !"

 

[Neville]

brill lol

 

[patbhoy]

women used to call me pete the meat .... but i never understood why :augie

Its because your jokes are mince:lol:lol:lol

 

[Terranical]

the idea is to post your worst joke , we vote on which is the worst ... winner gets a club sticker paid for by me :thumb2


so come on folks drag those jokes out of the bin :lol

Viagra is now available in powder form for putting in your tea. It doesn't enhance your sexual performance but it does stop your biscuit from going soft!

 

[briggie]

Viagra is now available in powder form for putting in your tea. It doesn't enhance your sexual performance but it does stop your biscuit from going soft!

:jesterbg

 

[slimlfc68]

worst jokes

man walks in to the library and ask,s can i have a book about comiting suicide , piss off says the librarian you wont bring it back:lol

 

[MudLifeCrisis]

My champion racing snail seems to have stopped performing as he isn't winning any races these days.

I thought that it might be because he's getting older so I decided to remove his shell to bring his weight down a bit and make him a bit more aerodynamic and give him a fighting chance. Sadly it didn't go to plan.













In fact, if anything its made him a bit more sluggish

 

[R1cho]

Q: On which side does a chicken have the most feathers?









A: The outside.

 

[briggie]

none bad enough ( yet ) to warrant a club sticker , but i live in hope:augie