worst ever joke competition

[The Patrolman]

An Engerlish man, an Irelandish man and a Walesishman walk into a Pub!!

Bar man .. "Whats this some kind of F@UJkin' joke"

 

[The Patrolman]

Did you hear about the Dyslexic pimp that bought a Wharehouse????

 

[patbhoy]

A priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his mission in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English.

So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, ‘This is a tree.’

The chief looks at the tree and grunts, ‘Tree.’

The priest is pleased with the response. They walk a little further and he points to a rock and says, ‘This is a rock.’

Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, ‘Rock.’

The priest was really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As they peek over the top, he sees a couple of natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity.

The priest is really flustered and quickly responds, ‘Man riding a bike.’

The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them.

The priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and be kind to each other, so how could he kill these people in cold blood that way?

The chief replied, ‘My bike.’

 

[patbhoy]

The funny thing is, i could really imagine this happening:lol

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[patbhoy]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What does your father do for a living?

Little Bruce was in his junior school class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up:
Fireman, policeman, salesman, politician, etc.

However, little Bruce was being uncharacteristically quiet, and so the teacher asked him about his father. Reluctantly he replied, “My Dad’s an exotic dancer in a gay club, and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer’s really good, he’ll go out with a man, rent a cheap room and let him shag him.”

The teacher hurriedly set the other children to work on some colouring and then took Little Bruce aside to ask him, “Is that really true about your father?”

“No,” said Bruce, “My father plays football for England, I was just too embarrassed to say that.”

 

[Tony]

Whats the differance between a bison and a buffalo?







You can't wash your hands in a buffalo


Tony

 

[Tony]

Whats long and thin
covered in skin
red in parts
and shoved in tarts?

















Rhubarb




Tony

 

[Tony]

What word is most used in a brothel?































NEXT!




tONY

 

[Tony]

man went to the doctors with a cauliflower in one ear, brocolli in the other and a carrot up his nose.

"Doctor, I don't feel very well"

The doctor looked at him and said

"You're not eating properly"


Tony

 

[patbhoy]

Whats the difference between a poof and a microwave.

















A microwave cant brown your meat.

 

[11redrex]

Two pigs are walking along the seafront, one turns to the other and says "where are the deck chairs". The other one says (in a pig voice) "I don't know"

 

[JimmyJaffa]

Whats pink and wrinkly and hangs out your grandads trousers?






Your nan

 

[macabethiel]

bad joke

Did you hear about the dyslexic philosopher ?














He sat up all night wondering if there is a dog.

 

[Darwin]

can someone help me go to the toilet please

doctor says I shouldnt lift anything heavy.

 

[briggie]

come on folks , im sure we can do better ( worse ? ) :lol:lol

 

[briggie]

2 cows in a field talking .

" what do you think of that mad cow disease ermintrude ? "

" doesnt affect me , im a duck "

 

[The Patrolman]

Did you hear about the dyslexic philosopher ?














He sat up all night wondering if there is a dog.

I thought that was the dyslexic agnostic insomniac:nenau

 

[jay]

What's red and white and sit's up a tree?















A sanitary owl !!!!!

 

[patbhoy]

Have you saw the price of velcro lately.



Its a rip off

 

[briggie]

A blonde calls british Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll
Take to fly from london to New York City ?'

The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'

'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.