worst ever joke competition

[The Patrolman]

I thought i was going mad heard something laughing in the pantry. I opened the door it was a tickled onion!!

 

[The Patrolman]

I hate going to a shop and forgetting things. I went to staples the stationers for some materials to do posters! Got there and there was something i needed but could not remember i hate it when that happens! I got home and was just coming in when I saw the rear end of my cat going through the cat flap tail in the air ,then I remembered it was a pencil sharpener id forgot . .

 

[briggie]

 

[11redrex]

why did the psychic cross the road ?




















to get to the other side.

 

[briggie]

An Englishman stops Paddy for directions... "Excuse me pal, what's the quickest way to Dublin?"

Paddy says "Are you on foot or in the car?"

The Englishman says "In the car."

Paddy replies "That's the quickest!"

 

[The Patrolman]

View attachment 1306

:augie you started this!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[briggie]

come on .... im sure we can do better ( worse ? )

 

[Reames]

Whats blue and smells like red paint?





Blue paint.

 

[Reames]

What do you call a blind dinosaur?


Do-you-think-he-saw-us.

 

[Reames]

What do you call a blind dinosaur's dog?


Do-you-think-he-saw-us Rex.

 

[macabethiel]

bad joke

Why did the pervert cross the road ?




He couldn't get his knob out of the chicken !

 

[BongoBerry]

whats black, and white and red all over?








Answer 1: A newspaper
Answer 2: An injured nun

 

[stevecrm]

whats black, and white and red all over?








Answer 1: A newspaper
Answer 2: An MURDERED nun

whats green and sits in the corner?



the same nun 3weeks later

 

[Darwin]

Whats got 5 legs and if it falls out a tree it will kill you ....




















a grand piano.

 

[Darwin]

whats green and goes backwards ?















sniff

 

[Darwin]

This morning they found a second man floating in Barrymores pool ,he was bearded and wearing a dish dash.
When asked who he was the SOC officer replied

















Taliban Suicide Bummer.

 

[patbhoy]

This morning they found a second man floating in Barrymores pool ,he was bearded and wearing a dish dash.
When asked who he was the SOC officer replied

















Taliban Suicide Bummer.

They say Michael Barrymore has no ashtrays in his house.










Apparently they throw their fags in the pool.

 

[tony46]

why was the man with a cold disqualified from the walking race?




because he had a running nose !!!:lol

 

[11redrex]

why was the man with a cold disqualified from the walking race?




because he had a running nose !!!:lol

that's really bad, :thumbs

 

[rustic]

What's green and turns red at the flick of a switch?
















A frog in a liquidiser...