Unwanted Calls

[rustic]

I try to keep the caller on the phone for as long as possible, I often have my wife in stitches. 10 minutes has been the max.
From what I have said, they are clearly following a script, putting the answers in a box without listening and understanding what I tell them...
For example...
One was trying to sell me a new credit card, after a few holding replies, one question was...
How many credit cards, do you have?

oh let me think, 19, no then there' the Halifax, one, oh, a couple ohh Santander, hang on... 23 yes 23...

Do you have any outstanding credit on them? well you can imagine, going through 23 cards takes a while especially if you have to get a balance slip from the file... boy... they are still there asking questions...
Eventually I say, well it's been nice talking to you, clearly what I have told you is clearly unbelivable, and I hope I have wasted your time, as I have enjoyed winding you up, and you might just want to take me off your mailing list.
They don't say much more after that...

The other caller clearly selects a random number, and I wait for him to confirm who he would like to speak to, by full name, this forms a brick wall for about half of them.

Then there are the guys who have been sold on the phone numbers, usually they have your full name, so a brick wall untill they can give me the name of the company that provided these details, keep asking them after every question they ask.... after about three replies like this they go away. Also mention telephone preference services and they often go.
The other one I use is ask their name and insist that they give you their phone number, so I can call them back should they get cut off...
They don't know how to handle that one, and sometimes the greener ones escalate the call to their supervisor, then you can go from there.
I just take them as a challenge, and time the call lol...
So who can beat 10 minutes?
lol

 

[jims-terrano]

Just had a call from the automated feedback service for the dam skoda garage on my mobile this time.

 

[don simon]

So who can beat 10 minutes?

Try telling them to hang on as there's someone at the door, then just put the handset down on the sideboard...

 

[jims-terrano]

Just had a call from the automated feedback service for the dam skoda garage on my mobile this time.

I put the phone down so the prats texted me instead.

 

[Sweety]

Try telling them to hang on as there's someone at the door, then just put the handset down on the sideboard...

Our budgie has taken a few calls as we have told the caller to hang on for a minute & put the phone on top of the budgies cage:lol

 

[solarman216]

Well very interesting mix of solutions here, unfortunately, I rarely have time for chit chat, so once I have identified that the call is crap, I digress into a load of expletive builders language for ten seconds then abruptly stop, to wait for the reply, which is usually something like "I do not have to put up with your foul language etc" to which I reply " well if you do not want to hear what I have to say, then do not fucxxxx call me", all the calls have now stopped for the last 6 months, Rick

 

[Thomas-the-Terrano2]

i like the ones that call from the windows department, yeah not everest.


one call i said is this the point where you log into my pc and steal my id or i pay you to fix it and you empty my account, er, er er, well guess what its neither now go forth and multiply

on another i played dumb er dont know how to turn on the pc, well cant see switch, well its dark. turn on light, cant theres a power cut....

basically trying to act the IT test

heres a version of it.

Too stupid to own a computer



This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless to say, the help desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause."

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee with a caller:

Customer Support: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"

Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

CS: "What sort of trouble?"

C: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

CS: "Went away?"

C: "They disappeared."

CS: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

C: "Nothing."

CS: "Nothing?"

C: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

CS: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

C: "How do I tell?"

CS: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

C: "What's a sea-prompt?"

CS: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

C: "There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

CS: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

C: "What's a monitor?"

CS: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

C: "I don't know."

CS: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

C: "Yes, I think so."

CS: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

C: ".......Yes, it is."

CS: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

C: "No."

CS: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

C: ".......Okay, here it is."

CS: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

CS: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

C: "No."

CS: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

C: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."

CS: "Dark?"

C: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

CS: "Well, turn on the office light then."

C: "I can't."

CS: "No? Why not?"

C: "Because there's a power outage."

CS: "A power... A power outage? Ah, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

C: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

CS: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

C: "Really? Is it that bad?"

CS: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

C: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

CS: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

 

[emjaybee]

Well very interesting mix of solutions here, unfortunately, I rarely have time for chit chat, so once I have identified that the call is crap, I digress into a load of expletive builders language for ten seconds then abruptly stop, to wait for the reply, which is usually something like "I do not have to put up with your foul language etc" to which I reply " well if you do not want to hear what I have to say, then do not fucxxxx call me", all the calls have now stopped for the last 6 months, Rick

Rick and I are so on the same page with this one.

Everyone else should try it.

It's very satisfying.

 

[kitchenman]

My favourite IT story involved the computer power switch. In them days marked with two symbols 'I' and 'O' which we all know means on = 'I' and off = 'O'
OK the story went something like this
Punter :"My computer will not print a document"
IT: "Explain the problem"
Punter: "well I type the stuff then go to print, my screen goes blank and nothing happens"
IT: "Please explain in detail"
Punter : " Right I switch the computer to 'I' for input, type the stuff then switch to 'O' to output when I want to print
IT goes into meltdown:doh
IAEFRTFM

 

[Paff]

I also use this - http://www.cprcallblocker.com/cpr-call-blocker-v202-caller-display-1200-number-capacity/

You can get them cheaper if you look around.

 

[Mobieus_uk]

these types are nearly always come up on my phone with caller number witheld which I dont answer as a rule

 

[firebobby]

We used to get loads of calls from the fookers, then we bought a BT 8500 phone with built in true call, you can program it to accept all known callers..friends and family. When someone who has not been programmed into the phone, calls your number, they have to listen to a message, then they have to say their name and press the hash button, o phone will then ring and when I picked up, you get a message saying who is trying to get through, if I want to speak, you press a button and talk. I can say in the 3 weeks that we have had the new phones, we have not had a single A hole caller. You can check for missed calls and one day we missed 15!!!. BLISS :clap

 

[macabethiel]

these types are nearly always come up on my phone with caller number witheld which I dont answer as a rule

Most Hosptals and G.P. s use withheld numbers. My GP was trying to get me to have a Flu jab !

 

[Terrano Steve]

Most Hosptals and G.P. s use withheld numbers. My GP was trying to get me to have a Flu jab !

This concerns me also, we had the hospital calling us about an appointment for my son & the no was withheld fortunately I had refrained from any type of colourful language :augie

 

[firebobby]

This concerns me also, we had the hospital calling us about an appointment for my son & the no was withheld fortunately I had refrained from any type of colourful language :augie

That' where the True call is good, if the caller really wants to speak to you, they record their name or a message and then you choose if you want to speak to them.