Blonde Joke

[Tomas]

A blonde takes her broken down car to the mechanic.

Mechanic says" Nothing serious love, just shit in the air filter ".

She replies " Brilliant, how often will I have to do that ?"

 

[rustic]

One for Briggie, and anyone who lives close by...:augie


4 old men were walking down a street in London, when they spotted a sign saying "Old Timer's Bar, all drinks 10p"
They look at each other thinking it too good to be true, but decide to try it out.
They go in & the Landlord calls out "Come in, let me pour you one,what'll it be?"
They order a pint of bitter each & in no time the landlord serves up 4 frothing pints & says "That'll be 10p each"
The 4 old men look at the landlord, then at each other & can't believe their luck so pay up 40 pence.
They drink up & order another pint, which in no time at all the landlord serves & says "That's 40p please".
They pay their 40p but are overcome with curiosity, as they've had 2 pints but still not spent £1.
Finally, one of the men asks the landlord " How can you serve such a good pint of bitter for just 10p?"
"I'm a retired tailor" says the landlord "but I always fancied running a bar". "Last year, I won £25 million on the lottery, so I decided to open this place. Every drink costs 10p, wine, beer, spirits, it's all the same"
"Now that's a story" says one of the old men.
As they're sipping their pints, they can't help noticing 7 other people at the far end of the bar, that don't have a drink in front of them, & haven't ordered anything all the time they've been in.
Nodding at the 7,one of the men asks the landlord "What's with them?"
The landlord replies " They're retired folk, from Yorkshire. They're waiting for Happy Hour, when drinks are half price!"

Apologies to Briggie and co...:lol:lol:lol

 

[rustic]

One for Ryan, or anybody under 30...


Think on this:

At the supermarket checkout recently, the young cashier suggested I should bring my own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment. I apologized and explained, "We didn't have this green thing back in my earlier days." The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations." She was right about one ...thing -- our generation didn't have the green thing in “Our” day.

So what did we have back then…? After some reflection and soul-searching on "Our" day here's what I remembered we did have ...

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles repeatedly. So they really were recycled. But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300HP vehicle every time we had to go two blocks. But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby's nappies because we didn't have the throw away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 3 kilowatts -- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our day. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that young lady is right. We didn't have the green thing back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of Yorkshire and a local electrician would repair it when it stopped working, we didn't bin it and buy a new one. In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she's right. We didn't have the green thing back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn't have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the bus, and kids rode their bikes to school or walked, instead of turning their parents into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical socket in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.

But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we older folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?


hmmm..... :nenau:nenau

 

[Grimsbyguy]

A blonde takes her broken down car to the mechanic.

Mechanic says" Nothing serious love, just shit in the air filter ".

She replies " Brilliant, how often will I have to do that ?"

Brilliant :clap

 

[Grimsbyguy]

One for Ryan, or anybody under 30...


Think on this:

At the supermarket checkout recently, the young cashier suggested I should bring my own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment. I apologized and explained, "We didn't have this green thing back in my earlier days." The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations." She was right about one ...thing -- our generation didn't have the green thing in “Our” day.

So what did we have back then…? After some reflection and soul-searching on "Our" day here's what I remembered we did have ...

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles repeatedly. So they really were recycled. But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300HP vehicle every time we had to go two blocks. But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby's nappies because we didn't have the throw away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 3 kilowatts -- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our day. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that young lady is right. We didn't have the green thing back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of Yorkshire and a local electrician would repair it when it stopped working, we didn't bin it and buy a new one. In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she's right. We didn't have the green thing back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn't have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the bus, and kids rode their bikes to school or walked, instead of turning their parents into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical socket in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.

But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we older folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?


hmmm..... :nenau:nenau

Couldnt of put it better myself sir :bow

 

[zippy656]

Couldnt of put it better myself sir :bow

Nor I

Problem is i remember it all

 

[darryl]

One for Ryan, or anybody under 30...


Think on this:

At the supermarket checkout recently, the young cashier suggested I should bring my own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment. I apologized and explained, "We didn't have this green thing back in my earlier days." The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations." She was right about one ...thing -- our generation didn't have the green thing in “Our” day.

So what did we have back then…? After some reflection and soul-searching on "Our" day here's what I remembered we did have ...

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles repeatedly. So they really were recycled. But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300HP vehicle every time we had to go two blocks. But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby's nappies because we didn't have the throw away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 3 kilowatts -- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our day. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that young lady is right. We didn't have the green thing back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of Yorkshire and a local electrician would repair it when it stopped working, we didn't bin it and buy a new one. In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she's right. We didn't have the green thing back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn't have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the bus, and kids rode their bikes to school or walked, instead of turning their parents into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical socket in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.

But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we older folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?


hmmm..... :nenau:nenau

brilliant:thumb2 I think im gonna record that so I can play it back when asked again

 

[96terrano]

One for Ryan, or anybody under 30...


Think on this:

At the supermarket checkout recently, the young cashier suggested I should bring my own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment. I apologized and explained, "We didn't have this green thing back in my earlier days." The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations." She was right about one ...thing -- our generation didn't have the green thing in “Our” day.

So what did we have back then…? After some reflection and soul-searching on "Our" day here's what I remembered we did have ...

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles repeatedly. So they really were recycled. But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300HP vehicle every time we had to go two blocks. But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby's nappies because we didn't have the throw away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 3 kilowatts -- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our day. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that young lady is right. We didn't have the green thing back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of Yorkshire and a local electrician would repair it when it stopped working, we didn't bin it and buy a new one. In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she's right. We didn't have the green thing back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn't have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the bus, and kids rode their bikes to school or walked, instead of turning their parents into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical socket in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.

But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we older folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?


hmmm..... :nenau:nenau

Very true that, I am not as wasteful as some, eg, I keep good boxes and cans fir storage, I try and fix things before I buy another but strip the broken things fir reusable parts before I sent the 'less amount' of wast to be disposed of, I'm not just talking about vehicles here, we don't have a tumble drier after out old one blew up, I stripped useable parts off it then sent it to be recycled ets, also, I do a lot of cycling and walking, this ain't just about me, if we all do our part, it will decrease global warming. believe it or not, I do actually care for the environment and try and do everything I can 'within reason' to stay clean and efficient

Only thing is, I drive a 2.7TD terrano:doh

 

[rustic]

Only thing is, I drive a 2.7TD terrano:doh

Ah but...
think of the environment, I have had my maverick 18 years, if I bought a standard car, I would been on my second or third one by now, so think about all that energy required to remelt the metal into new parts, the energy required to make plastic parts, glass, the labour, paint solvents, fabric... etc

Now I must have saved tonnes of Co2 and many mega watts of energy, so I think we are being very green. :thumb2:thumb2:thumb2

I bet you don't feel that bad now do you...:nenau

 

[solarman216]

Absolutely effin brilliant, so good I have printed a dozen copies to distribute to my mates, love it, Rick

 

[96terrano]

very green. :thumb2:thumb2:thumb2

I bet you don't feel that bad now do you...:nenau

No, but regardless of us buying new cars, manufacturers are still producing them,