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A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One rainy day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway. 'Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!' 'I can't jump out...

Cheapest Diesel at 5 stations within 5 miles of HX3 117.9p TESCO BRADFORD BUTTERSHAW Halifax Road,Buttershaw,Bradford,BD6 2DW Tesco 4.26 miles away, recorded 12.02.17 118.7p ASDA HALIFAX AUTOMAT Thrum Hall Lane,Halifax,HX1 4PG Asda 1.39 miles away, recorded 12.02.17 118.7p MORRISONS...

did you get to play radio ? :naughty

:surrender

very good :thumb2

In an attempt to use sex to encourage me to do some jobs in and around the house, my wife walked up to me and said,”I’ll make you a deal… you go outside and cut the hedges, and I’ll shave my pussy.” I replied, “Don’t be stupid. We can’t both use the hedge trimmer at once.”:)

Just got the internet today and it has turned my life around in 2 hours. Firstly I won an iPhone for being the 10,000th visitor to a site. Then I won a free Green Card to America. Found out that there are hundreds of horny women that are mad for sex in my area, found out a new way of growing my...

i used to have a talking cow !!! ..... ( but I got divorced :augie:lol:lol )

paddy struggling down the road carrying a big wardrobe , seamus says why don't you get mick to help ? " hes inside carrying the clothes "

Gary and Martin were standing at the urinals in a public lavatory, when Gary glanced over and noticed that Martin's 'thing' was twisted like a corkscrew. "Wow," Gary said. "I've never seen one like that before." "Like what?" Martin said. "All twisted like a pig's tail," Gary said. "Well, what's...

politicians and nappies need changing regularly ........ and for the same reason :augie

very good my friend :clap:clap

I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons and memories came flooding back of the time I took my son out for his first pint. Off we went to our local which is only 100 yards from the house. I got him a Fosters, he didn't like it so I had it. Then I got him a Carling Black Label...

A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?" The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day...

After having their 11th child, a Scouse couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix...

A left wing politician, a TV reporter and a SAS trooper were captured by ISIS. They were sentenced to death by beheading. The ISIS leader said they could have one last wish each before sentence was carried out. The politician ask to hear a rendering of keep the red flag flying, The reporter...

very subtle :thumb2

3ltr and veg oil is a big no no , as said before you will kill it :eek:

VERY GOOD :thumb2

A bloke goes into a Welsh pub and asks for a gin and tonic. All the pub falls silent, then the landlord says "Where are you from boyo, you sound English"? "Er, I'm from Bristol actually" he replies nervously. "Bristol you say, and what do you do in Bristol, look you"? says the Landlord "I'm a...