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well , ive had to rely on carers in the past , particularly after my 3rd stroke , I must say they were very professional and helpful , the rehab team ( occupational therapists etc ) weren't however , they brought me a nice shiny brand new wheelchair , it looked really nice , I looked at the "...

BREAKING NEWS !! summer in the uk will be on a Wednesday this year ( 2018 ) , probably around 2pm in august

After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician. 'Doctor,' the man said, 'I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine!!' 'Nonsense,' the doctor said... 'Even though you and your wife both have black...

well I'm shocked , a nice lady just knocked on my door and asked if I was ok and if I needed anything like bread / milk etc and if I had the heating on and was warm enough , my faith in humanity is restored , to get to my front door she had to walk through a 2 and a half foot deep snowdrift :eek:

imagine what its like up here jim :eek: , if it continues I'm going to have a massive problem in 3 days because my medication runs out , and yes I ordered some about 3 days ago :(

try living up here jim lol :augie

I used to race at olivers mount :naughty , I had a pagett Yamaha 250cc , had my last race there in the late 70s when I crashed into the barrier by the memorial / café bends , ended up halfway down the hillside after bouncing off a few trees :eek: .

loads of the frigging stuff up here , but then I do live 900ft above sea level up in the Yorkshire pennines :augie

hi folks , you may have noticed that I haven't been around much , this is mainly due to a few medical problems , I'm losing my sight in my right eye ( currently at 25 % ) due to chronic open angle glaucoma ) , although the doctors say there is no cure for this , they can help it with...

Spare a thought for poor ole Michael O’Leary, Chief Executive of Ryanair. After arriving in a hotel in Manchester, he went to the bar and asked for a pint of Guinness. The barman nodded and said, "That will be £1 please, Mr. O’Leary." Somewhat taken aback, O'Leary replied, "That's very...

terrible jokes ?????? ....... I'm wounded I tell ya I'm wounded :fiddle:

Two Irish builders (Paddy and Séamus) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub in Dublin when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar. The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit. Paddy: - I reckon he's an accountant. Séamus: -...

A poem Paul McCartney wrote to Heather Mills when they were together: We lay upon a grassy bank my hands were all a quiver, I slowly undid her suspender belt and her leg fell in the river.

Dear Asda, Last week I purchased some of your "smart price" toilet tissue and I have some thoughts to share with you. For my first use I folded it twice like I normally would, but it was so weak it broke, at which point I realised I had fingered myself. That's right. No romance, no weekend in...

did you get to meet the genious known as rick ?

I went to the sperm clinic today, the receptionist asked if I would like to masturbate in the cup... I said, "I'm good, but I'm not sure I'm ready for competition."

I used to use toothpaste to clean the chrome on my cars :augie

well jim , ive had a few sat navs , heres my opinion ....... tom tom is good but low volume even when on max , needs continually updating ,but loads of different voices to download ..... even john cleese :lol ...... garmin nuvi ..... nice , easy to use and very loud , but no real options to...

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed...

I can get 66mpg out of mine :augie