Why I'm divorced . . .

tezzer · 06-09-2010, 19:53

>
>
>
> Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very
well
> waking up on that morning..
>
> I went downstairs for breakfast
> hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
> 'Happy Birthday!',
> and possibly have a small present for me.
>
> As it turned out,
> she barely said good morning,
> let alone
> ' Happy Birthday.'
>
> I thought....
>
> Well, that's marriage for you,
> but the kids....
> They will remember.
>
> My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
> and didn't say a word..
> So when I left for the office,
> I felt pretty low
> and somewhat despondent.
>
> As I walked into my office,
> my secretary Jane said,
> 'Good Morning Boss,
> and by the way
> Happy Birthday ! '
> It felt a little better
> that at least someone had remembered.
>
> I worked until one o'clock ,
> when Jane knocked on my door
> and said, 'You know,
> It's such a beautiful day outside,
> and it is your Birthday,
> what do you say we go out to lunch,
> just you and me..'
> I said, 'Thanks, Jane,
> that's the greatest thing
> I've heard all day.
> Let's go !'
>
> We went to lunch.
> But we didn't go
> where we normally would go.
> She chose instead at a quiet bistro
> with a private table.
> We had two martinis each
> and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
>
> On the way back to the office,
> Jane said, 'You know,
> It's such a beautiful day...
> We don't need to go straight back to the office,
> Do We ?'
>
> I responded,
> 'I guess not.
> What do you have in mind ?'
> She said,
> 'Let's drop by my apartment,
> it's just around the corner..'
>
> After arriving at her apartment,
> Jane turned to me and said,
>
> ' Boss, if you don't mind,
> I'm going to step into the bedroom
> for just a moment.
> I'll be right back.'
> 'Ok.' I nervously replied.
>
> She went into the bedroom and,
> after a couple of minutes,
> she came out
> carrying a huge birthday cake ...
> Followed
> by my wife,
> my kids,
> and dozens of my friends
> and co-workers,
> all singing 'Happy Birthday'.
>
>
> And I just sat there....
>
> On the couch....
>
> Naked.

06-09-2010, 19:53	#1
tezzer Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: basildon essex Vehicle: transit camper van 1987 Posts: 2,829	Why I'm divorced . . . > > > > Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well > waking up on that morning.. > > I went downstairs for breakfast > hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, > 'Happy Birthday!', > and possibly have a small present for me. > > As it turned out, > she barely said good morning, > let alone > ' Happy Birthday.' > > I thought.... > > Well, that's marriage for you, > but the kids.... > They will remember. > > My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast > and didn't say a word.. > So when I left for the office, > I felt pretty low > and somewhat despondent. > > As I walked into my office, > my secretary Jane said, > 'Good Morning Boss, > and by the way > Happy Birthday ! ' > It felt a little better > that at least someone had remembered. > > I worked until one o'clock , > when Jane knocked on my door > and said, 'You know, > It's such a beautiful day outside, > and it is your Birthday, > what do you say we go out to lunch, > just you and me..' > I said, 'Thanks, Jane, > that's the greatest thing > I've heard all day. > Let's go !' > > We went to lunch. > But we didn't go > where we normally would go. > She chose instead at a quiet bistro > with a private table. > We had two martinis each > and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. > > On the way back to the office, > Jane said, 'You know, > It's such a beautiful day... > We don't need to go straight back to the office, > Do We ?' > > I responded, > 'I guess not. > What do you have in mind ?' > She said, > 'Let's drop by my apartment, > it's just around the corner..' > > After arriving at her apartment, > Jane turned to me and said, > > ' Boss, if you don't mind, > I'm going to step into the bedroom > for just a moment. > I'll be right back.' > 'Ok.' I nervously replied. > > She went into the bedroom and, > after a couple of minutes, > she came out > carrying a huge birthday cake ... > Followed > by my wife, > my kids, > and dozens of my friends > and co-workers, > all singing 'Happy Birthday'. > > > And I just sat there.... > > On the couch.... > > Naked.