Go Back   :::.Nissan 4x4 Owners Club.::: > General > The Clubs Virtual Pub > Jokes humor and fun

Jokes humor and fun Keep it clean(ish)

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 23-01-2017, 12:24   #1
briggie
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: peoples democratic republic of west yorkshire
Vehicle: " alice "
Posts: 10,473
Exclamation formula 1

“The Ferrari F1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday."
This announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the British government's 'Work for your Dole' scheme and employ some Liverpudlian youngsters.
The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Toxteth were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari’s existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of high tech equipment.
It was thought to be an excellent, bold move by the Ferrari management team as most races are won and lost in the pits, giving Ferrari an advantage over every other team.
However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for!
At the crew's first practice session, not only was the scouse pit crew able to change all four wheels in under 6 seconds but, within 12 seconds, they had re-sprayed, re-badged and sold the car to the Mclaren team for 8 cases of Stella, a bag of weed and some photos of Lewis Hamilton's bird in the shower...
briggie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-01-2017, 12:27   #2
don simon
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Gone.
Vehicle: Terrano ii
Posts: 2,215
Default

Excellent.
Feel the quality.
don simon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-01-2017, 12:37   #3
emjaybee
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Oxfordshire
Vehicle: 3.0Di SVE '05 5 door.
Posts: 1,536
Default



Its like the difference between a Rolls Royce and a half decomposed dog turd compared to what we had to endure over the weekend.

emjaybee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-01-2017, 12:44   #4
rustic
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
rustic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Staffordshire
Vehicle: Maverick Mk I 2.7 TD LWB
Posts: 7,825
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by briggie View Post
“The Ferrari F1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday."
This announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the British government's 'Work for your Dole' scheme and employ some Liverpudlian youngsters.
The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Toxteth were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari’s existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of high tech equipment.
It was thought to be an excellent, bold move by the Ferrari management team as most races are won and lost in the pits, giving Ferrari an advantage over every other team.
However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for!
At the crew's first practice session, not only was the scouse pit crew able to change all four wheels in under 6 seconds but, within 12 seconds, they had re-sprayed, re-badged and sold the car to the Mclaren team for 8 cases of Stella, a bag of weed and some photos of Lewis Hamilton's bird in the shower...

Looks like I might be renewing my membership next month after all.

Pete, do you get honorary membership? if not, you deserve it.
__________________
Ford Maverick GLX 1995 2.7TD LWB in illusion silver, 98k miles. Owned since new, for 22 years.
Best car I have ever owned.
Just wish I could drive it more.
rustic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-01-2017, 12:46   #5
rustic
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
rustic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Staffordshire
Vehicle: Maverick Mk I 2.7 TD LWB
Posts: 7,825
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by emjaybee View Post


Its like the difference between a Rolls Royce and a half decomposed dog turd compared to what we had to endure over the weekend.

Not quite the way I would have worded it, but true nether the less
__________________
Ford Maverick GLX 1995 2.7TD LWB in illusion silver, 98k miles. Owned since new, for 22 years.
Best car I have ever owned.
Just wish I could drive it more.
rustic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-01-2017, 13:20   #6
macabethiel
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Derby
Vehicle: Freelander & Jeep GC 3.0
Posts: 4,416
Talking Joke Quality Restored

A Briggie comeback has been achieved !
macabethiel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-01-2017, 15:30   #7
johnb5177
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Swansea, S.Wales
Vehicle: 02Terrano II 3.0 SVE Auto
Posts: 1,586
Default

Welcome back....all is truly forgiven.....even if you never did anything.....
johnb5177 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-01-2017, 16:18   #8
Monaro Pete
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Nr J28 M1
Vehicle: 03 Terrano 2.7 TDi
Posts: 995
Default

Good one Sir Briggie
Monaro Pete is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-01-2017, 22:26   #9
solarman216
Off road maniac
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
solarman216's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Bexhill on Sea
Vehicle: Y60 Patrol Me, 3 ltr Mrs
Posts: 17,421
Default

Well done Pete, Rick
__________________
Ex banger racer now off road maniac
Lokka on the front with manual hubs
Diff lock on rear
3 inch SS straight through exhaust
Manly winch bumper with 13000 lb winch
10 spike ground anchor, with multiple straps and blocks
Super strong body cills capped with scaffold pole
20% stronger springs all round
aggressive off road tyres on wheels so just swap.
Aim to get stuck and be completely self sufficient in extraction, love getting muddy, 2ft deep is good but rare.
solarman216 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 23-01-2017, 22:35   #10
zippy656
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Devizes Wiltshire
Vehicle: Nissan Note Ntec 1.5
Posts: 14,137
Default

So unfair

In trying my best!
zippy656 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-01-2017, 22:44   #11
briggie
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: peoples democratic republic of west yorkshire
Vehicle: " alice "
Posts: 10,473
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by zippy656 View Post
So unfair

In trying my best!
that's all you can do grasshopper , humour takes many forms
briggie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-01-2017, 23:30   #12
emjaybee
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Oxfordshire
Vehicle: 3.0Di SVE '05 5 door.
Posts: 1,536
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by zippy656 View Post
So unfair

In trying my best!
As my wife would say...

... yes, you are trying!

emjaybee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24-01-2017, 05:15   #13
rustic
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
rustic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Staffordshire
Vehicle: Maverick Mk I 2.7 TD LWB
Posts: 7,825
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by zippy656 View Post
So unfair

In trying my best!
You know what they say...
If at first you don't succeed...











Give Up.




.
__________________
Ford Maverick GLX 1995 2.7TD LWB in illusion silver, 98k miles. Owned since new, for 22 years.
Best car I have ever owned.
Just wish I could drive it more.
rustic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24-01-2017, 08:31   #14
panelbeater
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: clacton on sea essex
Vehicle: nissan terrano 2 2.7 tdi
Posts: 1,630
Default

panelbeater is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24-01-2017, 09:04   #15
emjaybee
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Oxfordshire
Vehicle: 3.0Di SVE '05 5 door.
Posts: 1,536
Default

emjaybee is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 16:36.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
Images online photo albums