Go Back   :::.Nissan 4x4 Owners Club.::: > General > The Clubs Virtual Pub > Jokes humor and fun

Jokes humor and fun Keep it clean(ish)

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 16-06-2016, 08:41   #1
rustic
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
rustic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Staffordshire
Vehicle: Maverick Mk I 2.7 TD LWB
Posts: 7,825
Default Anyone seen Brown Paper Jake?

A sheriff walks into a saloon, and shouts for everyone's attention.
"Has anyone seen Brown Paper Jake?", he asks.
"What's he look like?", asks one shoddy looking cowboy.
"Well", replies the Sheriff. "He wears a brown paper hat, a brownpaper waistcoat, a brown paper shirt, brown paper boots, brown paper pants, and a brown paper jacket."
"So what's he wanted for?", asks the same cowboy.






"Rustling'...", replies the Sheriff..

__________________
Ford Maverick GLX 1995 2.7TD LWB in illusion silver, 98k miles. Owned since new, for 22 years.
Best car I have ever owned.
Just wish I could drive it more.
rustic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-06-2016, 09:27   #2
Blocky10
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Welcome to Norwich, a fine city
Vehicle: 2004 Terrano 3.0 SVE Auto
Posts: 3,601
Default

I'm easily pleased
Blocky10 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-06-2016, 09:55   #3
makeitfit
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: on the beach WEST WALES
Vehicle: Maverick TDi BLACK mmm
Posts: 15,136
Default

Have you pinched Briggies joke book ?
Best give it back eh
makeitfit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-06-2016, 11:20   #4
rustic
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
rustic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Staffordshire
Vehicle: Maverick Mk I 2.7 TD LWB
Posts: 7,825
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by makeitfit View Post
Have you pinched Briggies joke book ?
Best give it back eh
Yes, but it's his one from last year lol
__________________
Ford Maverick GLX 1995 2.7TD LWB in illusion silver, 98k miles. Owned since new, for 22 years.
Best car I have ever owned.
Just wish I could drive it more.
rustic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-06-2016, 11:48   #5
Monaro Pete
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Nr J28 M1
Vehicle: 03 Terrano 2.7 TDi
Posts: 995
Default

I "HOPE" they get better

Monaro Pete is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-06-2016, 11:52   #6
makeitfit
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: on the beach WEST WALES
Vehicle: Maverick TDi BLACK mmm
Posts: 15,136
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Monaro Pete View Post
I "HOPE" they get better

don't get them up too high
makeitfit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-06-2016, 14:54   #7
rustic
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
rustic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Staffordshire
Vehicle: Maverick Mk I 2.7 TD LWB
Posts: 7,825
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Monaro Pete View Post
I "HOPE" they get better

Try this one...


A man walks into a restaurant, and orders the squid. The chef, Gervais, asks him to choose a live one from the tank. The man chooses a little green one with a very big moustache. Gervais exclaims, "No! Not that one! He's my favourite, look at his little face (As the squid wiggles its cute little 'tache), but the customer insists.

Gervais reluctantly takes the squid into the kitchen, raises his knife, but just then, the squid wiggles its little moustache again, and Gervais chickens out. He tries several more times, but he just cannot perform the task.

He calls Hans, the kitchen dish-washer to come and help him. Hans is a big, tough, beefy lad who wouldn't let a little thing like this affect him. He lifts the knife, but then the squid wiggles it's cute little green face, and Hans bursts into tears.

The moral of the story is:

"Hans that does dishes can be soft as Gervais, with mild green hairy lipped-squids"

not any better lol... will try harder lol.....
__________________
Ford Maverick GLX 1995 2.7TD LWB in illusion silver, 98k miles. Owned since new, for 22 years.
Best car I have ever owned.
Just wish I could drive it more.
rustic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-06-2016, 15:09   #8
Blocky10
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Welcome to Norwich, a fine city
Vehicle: 2004 Terrano 3.0 SVE Auto
Posts: 3,601
Default

Bloody hell Rustic.
Blocky10 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-06-2016, 18:29   #9
Monaro Pete
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Nr J28 M1
Vehicle: 03 Terrano 2.7 TDi
Posts: 995
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by rustic View Post
Try this one...


A man walks into a restaurant, and orders the squid. The chef, Gervais, asks him to choose a live one from the tank. The man chooses a little green one with a very big moustache. Gervais exclaims, "No! Not that one! He's my favourite, look at his little face (As the squid wiggles its cute little 'tache), but the customer insists.

Gervais reluctantly takes the squid into the kitchen, raises his knife, but just then, the squid wiggles its little moustache again, and Gervais chickens out. He tries several more times, but he just cannot perform the task.

He calls Hans, the kitchen dish-washer to come and help him. Hans is a big, tough, beefy lad who wouldn't let a little thing like this affect him. He lifts the knife, but then the squid wiggles it's cute little green face, and Hans bursts into tears.

The moral of the story is:

"Hans that does dishes can be soft as Gervais, with mild green hairy lipped-squids"

not any better lol... will try harder lol.....
Success PMSL
Monaro Pete is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17-06-2016, 09:21   #10
Terrano Steve
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: South west
Vehicle: Terrano
Posts: 522
Default

Terrano Steve is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17-06-2016, 10:30   #11
don simon
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Gone.
Vehicle: Terrano ii
Posts: 2,215
Default

* Groans*
don simon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17-06-2016, 14:50   #12
Monaro Pete
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Nr J28 M1
Vehicle: 03 Terrano 2.7 TDi
Posts: 995
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by don simon View Post
* Groans*
Some just have no sense of humour
Monaro Pete is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-06-2016, 22:47   #13
johnb5177
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Swansea, S.Wales
Vehicle: 02Terrano II 3.0 SVE Auto
Posts: 1,586
Default

johnb5177 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 08:11.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
Images online photo albums