Time to get things in order, to help those left behind.

rustic · 21-05-2015, 20:36

Well, an odd post, but sadly true, yesterday morning we had the sad news that my step mother had been found dead in bed after the Police had broken down the door. She had been dead a while.
It was a big birthday of mine a few days before, you know the one... free prescriptions, 10% discount at B&Q on Wednesdays, and I had been trying to phone her to thank her for my birthday present over the following few days. We hadn't been able to get through, a friend had called by to take her out on her weekly evening outing... Then the alarm bells started...

As it happens, her brother is organising the funeral, and he asked me if I knew if she had left a will...

We had no idea, my Father had long gone, so she was on her own, and no one knows where or if there is a will. We never talked about it... you don't really do you?
It's not nice searching through her belongings so early on.

No, asking for the will is not money grabbing so and so's, but for things like her wishes for funeral arrangements etc.
We have made a best guess of what we believe she wanted, but believe me, it does nothing to help us with the grieving process.
Have we made the right decision ?

Well she won't complain.

So, even though you might be in great health now, think of those left behind, you never know if, as a couple you both get wiped out in one incident.
Would your loved ones know what to do.

Get that will written... let your immediate family know where it is, and keep it updated for your wishes, life changes, so should your will.

Picking up the pieces only adds to the grief, so think of others left to sort this out.
The solicitor will be sending out a round robin message to all solicitors in the area to search their records.

Richard ( Rustic ).

AlexD333 · 21-05-2015, 20:43

Good speech well made

hope it goes smoothly for you.

briggie · 21-05-2015, 21:12

sincere condolences mate , been there twice , with both mum and dad , not very pleasant .

jims-terrano · 21-05-2015, 21:26

So sorry to hear that Rustic. Have to say though you are talking perfect sense and yeah its a difficult subject.

Sweety · 21-05-2015, 21:46

So very sorry to hear the sad news Rustic & our thoughts are with you & the rest of the family.
TBH i've never got around to making a will yet

but know i'm going to have to get it sorted out sooner than later. I know my parents have one & it's kept at their solicitors

solarman216 · 21-05-2015, 21:50

I am not certain on this but think if a solicitor does a will it is logged onto a central database, but this may only apply to fairly recent ones due to modern technology, sorry none the less of your loss, Rick

rustic · 21-05-2015, 21:54

Thanks guys, I really appreciate your best wishes it helps a lot.

spinna · 21-05-2015, 22:05

So sorry to hear of your loss Rustic.
You have brought up a very important subject that many just put off, myself included. We really don't know what's around the corner. So I will endeavour to get my will sorted sooner rather than later.

rustic · 21-05-2015, 22:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by spinna

So sorry to hear of your loss Rustic.
You have brought up a very important subject that many just put off, myself included. We really don't know what's around the corner. So I will endeavour to get my will sorted sooner rather than later.

It often takes something like this to think about it.

Watching all those adverts on TV for paying into funeral payment plans just goes over your head, we all switch off our minds to it.
I don't believe that they represent good value for money either, I can't see how they could ever pay out more than you put in, let alone break even.
After all, it is the only thing that you can't prove, you have been miss sold.
Let alone put a claim in.

kitchenman · 21-05-2015, 22:29

If you do help clear the house carefully read every bit of paper, riffle the pages of every book and magazine, lift all carpets. Also look in the loft if there is one.
A mate clears houses for landlords, finds lots of stuff 'hidden away'

solarman216 · 21-05-2015, 22:46

yep that is correct, I was fitting Solar stuff for a long time and most required a hot water cyl change, one I did uncovered two very valuable gold watches the owner forgot they were there

Rick

Barrbeast · 21-05-2015, 23:12

Sorry to hear that Rustic, condolences

Speaking as a solicitor I can't stress enough the importance of wills as if you don't have one then I'm willing to bet that what you think will happen to your estate and affairs etc when you die won't be correct. It's especially important if you own property. I only just turned 30 last month but have had a will in place since I bought my flat in 2007.

Usually the solicitor who made the will retains the original or at least a copy if the client has asked to hold onto the original. For a long time now we have also scanned ours into our Wills and Powers of Attorney database, not only for ease of finding it but also so we can try and keep them up to date (very important to review your will periodically and particularly when big changes occur eg. marriage etc).

Also, while any will is better than no will I have seen the mess, upset and expense caused by a deceased's family trying to interpret off the shelf wills from the likes of WH Smith etc (although these might have got better) and/or wills that people have written themselves without much, if any, knowledge of what is required. That's why it is really advisable to go to a solicitor to get your will done. Most offer set prices for basic or complex wills with discounts for couples having "mirror image" wills. A lot of firms including mine do a charity wills month when we will do you a will for a donation to a certain charity. The level of donation is entirely up to the person getting the will done although we do give a suggested donation based on what we would normally charge for the will (I've known of folk donating a fiver for their will).

Banshee · 21-05-2015, 23:17

Sorry to hear of your loss Uncle Rustic

I hope everything goes smoothly for you buddy

johnb5177 · 22-05-2015, 15:35

Rustic, so sorry to hear of your loss.

I'm down to a 93 yr old Mum, who thankfully is well organised.

You have made a very important and valuable point, which is not to be ignored.

I have both UK and French will (as we own property here it is vital).

The greatest of good luck with all you have to get on with, all your friends here will be thinking of you, and maybe even light a candle on your behalf.

bry · 22-05-2015, 16:34

Sorry for your loss Rustic.My wife and i,both have lost our parents.I understand your feelings regarding having to go through a loved ones possessions,after all you are basically going through some ones life.Never a easy thing to do,and often becomes emotional. Both my wife and i have a appointment with a solicitor next week regarding making a will.Should have done it sooner i guess,but like a lot of people,it's one of those things you never seem to get around to doing.

21-05-2015, 20:36	#1
rustic Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Staffordshire Vehicle: Maverick Mk I 2.7 TD LWB Posts: 7,825	Time to get things in order, to help those left behind. Well, an odd post, but sadly true, yesterday morning we had the sad news that my step mother had been found dead in bed after the Police had broken down the door. She had been dead a while. It was a big birthday of mine a few days before, you know the one... free prescriptions, 10% discount at B&Q on Wednesdays, and I had been trying to phone her to thank her for my birthday present over the following few days. We hadn't been able to get through, a friend had called by to take her out on her weekly evening outing... Then the alarm bells started... As it happens, her brother is organising the funeral, and he asked me if I knew if she had left a will... We had no idea, my Father had long gone, so she was on her own, and no one knows where or if there is a will. We never talked about it... you don't really do you? It's not nice searching through her belongings so early on. No, asking for the will is not money grabbing so and so's, but for things like her wishes for funeral arrangements etc. We have made a best guess of what we believe she wanted, but believe me, it does nothing to help us with the grieving process. Have we made the right decision ? Well she won't complain. So, even though you might be in great health now, think of those left behind, you never know if, as a couple you both get wiped out in one incident. Would your loved ones know what to do. Get that will written... let your immediate family know where it is, and keep it updated for your wishes, life changes, so should your will. Picking up the pieces only adds to the grief, so think of others left to sort this out. The solicitor will be sending out a round robin message to all solicitors in the area to search their records. Richard ( Rustic ). __________________ Ford Maverick GLX 1995 2.7TD LWB in illusion silver, 98k miles. Owned since new, for 22 years. Best car I have ever owned. Just wish I could drive it more.

21-05-2015, 21:50	#6
solarman216 Off road maniac Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Bexhill on Sea Vehicle: Y60 Patrol Me, 3 ltr Mrs Posts: 17,431	I am not certain on this but think if a solicitor does a will it is logged onto a central database, but this may only apply to fairly recent ones due to modern technology, sorry none the less of your loss, Rick __________________ Ex banger racer now off road maniac Lokka on the front with manual hubs Diff lock on rear 3 inch SS straight through exhaust Manly winch bumper with 13000 lb winch 10 spike ground anchor, with multiple straps and blocks Super strong body cills capped with scaffold pole 20% stronger springs all round aggressive off road tyres on wheels so just swap. Aim to get stuck and be completely self sufficient in extraction, love getting muddy, 2ft deep is good but rare.

21-05-2015, 21:54	#7
rustic Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Staffordshire Vehicle: Maverick Mk I 2.7 TD LWB Posts: 7,825	Thanks guys, I really appreciate your best wishes it helps a lot. __________________ Ford Maverick GLX 1995 2.7TD LWB in illusion silver, 98k miles. Owned since new, for 22 years. Best car I have ever owned. Just wish I could drive it more.

21-05-2015, 22:46	#11
solarman216 Off road maniac Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Bexhill on Sea Vehicle: Y60 Patrol Me, 3 ltr Mrs Posts: 17,431	yep that is correct, I was fitting Solar stuff for a long time and most required a hot water cyl change, one I did uncovered two very valuable gold watches the owner forgot they were there Rick __________________ Ex banger racer now off road maniac Lokka on the front with manual hubs Diff lock on rear 3 inch SS straight through exhaust Manly winch bumper with 13000 lb winch 10 spike ground anchor, with multiple straps and blocks Super strong body cills capped with scaffold pole 20% stronger springs all round aggressive off road tyres on wheels so just swap. Aim to get stuck and be completely self sufficient in extraction, love getting muddy, 2ft deep is good but rare.

21-05-2015, 23:17	#13
Banshee Moderator Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: West Midlands Vehicle: 04 2.7 SWB Terrano II Van Posts: 13,526	Sorry to hear of your loss Uncle Rustic I hope everything goes smoothly for you buddy __________________ Moderator 04' Terrano II SE 2.7 TDi SWB Commercial in Silver - Project Thread Toyo Open Country M/T 33's on 10J Steels, Super Strong Steering Job Navara D22 Snorkel, Front LOKKA, Maunal Hubs, EGR Blank TunitII ECU Chip, 3" Body Lift, 2" Suss Lift, Heat Exchanger Black Interior, 3.0 Borg&Beck Clutch, Eckes Heated Fuel Filter 99' Y61 Patrol GR SE 2.8 TD6 LWB in Blue/Silver - Project Thread Engine Transplant - In Progress!!!

21-05-2015, 20:43	#2
AlexD333 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Uk Vehicle: 2004 Terrano 2.7 TDI Posts: 7,847	Good speech well made hope it goes smoothly for you.

21-05-2015, 21:12	#3
briggie Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: peoples democratic republic of west yorkshire Vehicle: " alice " Posts: 10,473	sincere condolences mate , been there twice , with both mum and dad , not very pleasant .

21-05-2015, 21:26	#4
jims-terrano Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: UK Posts: 12,965	So sorry to hear that Rustic. Have to say though you are talking perfect sense and yeah its a difficult subject.

21-05-2015, 21:46	#5
Sweety Senior Member Join Date: May 2013 Location: Northumberland Vehicle: Terrano 2.7TDI SE LWB Posts: 3,604	So very sorry to hear the sad news Rustic & our thoughts are with you & the rest of the family. TBH i've never got around to making a will yet but know i'm going to have to get it sorted out sooner than later. I know my parents have one & it's kept at their solicitors

21-05-2015, 22:05	#8
spinna Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Telford, Shropshire Vehicle: Nissan Patrol y60 4.2d Posts: 1,287	So sorry to hear of your loss Rustic. You have brought up a very important subject that many just put off, myself included. We really don't know what's around the corner. So I will endeavour to get my will sorted sooner rather than later.

21-05-2015, 22:29	#10
kitchenman Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Essex Wescliff Vehicle: maverick 1994 2.7 TD Posts: 1,278	If you do help clear the house carefully read every bit of paper, riffle the pages of every book and magazine, lift all carpets. Also look in the loft if there is one. A mate clears houses for landlords, finds lots of stuff 'hidden away'

21-05-2015, 23:12	#12
Barrbeast Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Dundee, Scotland Vehicle: 1990 4.2 SWB Safari Posts: 2,615	Sorry to hear that Rustic, condolences Speaking as a solicitor I can't stress enough the importance of wills as if you don't have one then I'm willing to bet that what you think will happen to your estate and affairs etc when you die won't be correct. It's especially important if you own property. I only just turned 30 last month but have had a will in place since I bought my flat in 2007. Usually the solicitor who made the will retains the original or at least a copy if the client has asked to hold onto the original. For a long time now we have also scanned ours into our Wills and Powers of Attorney database, not only for ease of finding it but also so we can try and keep them up to date (very important to review your will periodically and particularly when big changes occur eg. marriage etc). Also, while any will is better than no will I have seen the mess, upset and expense caused by a deceased's family trying to interpret off the shelf wills from the likes of WH Smith etc (although these might have got better) and/or wills that people have written themselves without much, if any, knowledge of what is required. That's why it is really advisable to go to a solicitor to get your will done. Most offer set prices for basic or complex wills with discounts for couples having "mirror image" wills. A lot of firms including mine do a charity wills month when we will do you a will for a donation to a certain charity. The level of donation is entirely up to the person getting the will done although we do give a suggested donation based on what we would normally charge for the will (I've known of folk donating a fiver for their will).

22-05-2015, 15:35	#14
johnb5177 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Swansea, S.Wales Vehicle: 02Terrano II 3.0 SVE Auto Posts: 1,586	Rustic, so sorry to hear of your loss. I'm down to a 93 yr old Mum, who thankfully is well organised. You have made a very important and valuable point, which is not to be ignored. I have both UK and French will (as we own property here it is vital). The greatest of good luck with all you have to get on with, all your friends here will be thinking of you, and maybe even light a candle on your behalf.

22-05-2015, 16:34	#15
bry Senior Member Join Date: May 2013 Location: South Yorkshire.. Vehicle: Nissan Terrano MK 2 SE Posts: 1,757	Sorry for your loss Rustic.My wife and i,both have lost our parents.I understand your feelings regarding having to go through a loved ones possessions,after all you are basically going through some ones life.Never a easy thing to do,and often becomes emotional. Both my wife and i have a appointment with a solicitor next week regarding making a will.Should have done it sooner i guess,but like a lot of people,it's one of those things you never seem to get around to doing.