Time for a chuckle..

rustic · 19-10-2014, 09:04

I found this on another forum, not quite up to Briggies standard, but worth a read.

"Lexophile” is a word used to describe those that have a love for words, such as ................
"you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless."

A competition to see who can come up with the best lexophillies is held every year.
This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.

.. When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

.. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

.. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U. C. L. A.

.. The batteries were given out free of charge.

.. A dentist and a manicurist married. . . They fought tooth and nail.

.. A will is a dead giveaway.

.. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

.. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

. .When you've seen one shopping Centre you've seen a mall.

. . Police were called to a day care Centre where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

. . Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? . . He's all right now.

. . A bicycle can't stand alone, it's two tired.

. . When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

. . The bloke who fell into an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

. . He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

. . When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.

. . Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

. . And the cream of the wretched crop:

. . Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.

Rustic

macabethiel · 19-10-2014, 09:28

A bit Timoth Vine but still clever.
LOL

AlexD333 · 19-10-2014, 10:39

Loving it, awesome

Ianinessex · 19-10-2014, 10:45

Very clever, made me chuckle over the morning cup of tea
Ian

elty001 · 19-10-2014, 10:58

Here's my contribution

Why is six always scared? Because seven eight nine.

Lazy-Ferret · 19-10-2014, 12:10

I like those. Clever

sent from my phone, sorry for any typo's.

bry · 19-10-2014, 13:00

She was only the fish mongers wife, but she knew her plaice..

rustic · 19-10-2014, 13:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by elty001

Here's my contribution

Why is six always scared? Because seven eight nine.

That reminds me of Seven of Nine in the Star Trek Voyager series...💭

johnb5177 · 19-10-2014, 16:26

oooooooooooooooh......Seven of Nine..............mmmh...........stop it you fool it was only a TV programme!............

19-10-2014, 09:04	#1
rustic Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Staffordshire Vehicle: Maverick Mk I 2.7 TD LWB Posts: 7,825	Time for a chuckle.. I found this on another forum, not quite up to Briggies standard, but worth a read. "Lexophile” is a word used to describe those that have a love for words, such as ................ "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless." A competition to see who can come up with the best lexophillies is held every year. This year's winning submission is posted at the very end. .. When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate. .. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months. .. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U. C. L. A. .. The batteries were given out free of charge. .. A dentist and a manicurist married. . . They fought tooth and nail. .. A will is a dead giveaway. .. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. .. A boiled egg is hard to beat. . .When you've seen one shopping Centre you've seen a mall. . . Police were called to a day care Centre where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. . . Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? . . He's all right now. . . A bicycle can't stand alone, it's two tired. . . When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds. . . The bloke who fell into an upholstery machine is now fully recovered. . . He had a photographic memory which was never developed. . . When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye. . . Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it. . . And the cream of the wretched crop: . . Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end. Rustic __________________ Ford Maverick GLX 1995 2.7TD LWB in illusion silver, 98k miles. Owned since new, for 22 years. Best car I have ever owned. Just wish I could drive it more.

19-10-2014, 09:28	#2
macabethiel Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Derby Vehicle: Freelander & Jeep GC 3.0 Posts: 4,416	LOL A bit Timoth Vine but still clever. LOL

19-10-2014, 10:39	#3
AlexD333 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Uk Vehicle: 2004 Terrano 2.7 TDI Posts: 7,847	Loving it, awesome

19-10-2014, 10:45	#4
Ianinessex Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2014 Location: Leigh-on-Sea, Essex Vehicle: Patrol GR SE+ TD/A 2002 Posts: 207	Very clever, made me chuckle over the morning cup of tea Ian

19-10-2014, 10:58	#5
elty001 Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Aflreton,Derbyshire. Vehicle: 2000se+ 2.7tdi terrano II Posts: 6,832	Here's my contribution Why is six always scared? Because seven eight nine.

19-10-2014, 12:10	#6
Lazy-Ferret Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Sevenoaks, Kent Vehicle: Terrano 2.7TDi SE Touring Posts: 5,221	I like those. Clever sent from my phone, sorry for any typo's.

19-10-2014, 13:00	#7
bry Senior Member Join Date: May 2013 Location: South Yorkshire.. Vehicle: Nissan Terrano MK 2 SE Posts: 1,757	She was only the fish mongers wife, but she knew her plaice..

19-10-2014, 16:26	#9
johnb5177 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Swansea, S.Wales Vehicle: 02Terrano II 3.0 SVE Auto Posts: 1,586	oooooooooooooooh......Seven of Nine..............mmmh...........stop it you fool it was only a TV programme!............