I've been banned from tesco

R1cho · 06-06-2014, 17:00

Yesterday I was at my local Tesco store buying a large bag of My Dog dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Dog Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 10 kilograms before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with My Dog nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. I'm now banned from Tesco. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.

johnb5177 · 06-06-2014, 17:16

ian's terrano · 06-06-2014, 17:36

firebobby · 06-06-2014, 18:19

Now, that's funny

judd750 · 06-06-2014, 19:35

quality !!!

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Dynamics · 06-06-2014, 19:38

Have you really got a dog then...

You just say "Loyal pet"

Are you sure it's not a guinea pig?

Sweety · 06-06-2014, 21:38

Trust me you prob wouldn't want to eat dry dog food, all my last dogs ate meat with a bit of mixer but when this one was a pup she was on dry food & we had a hard job getting her to eat it even tho that's what she had been eating since being weened so I thought i'd try some

OMG no wonder she wasn't tucking into it it tasted dreadful & it wasn't the cheap stuff but one of the top makes

she was on meat & mixer the next day & it didn't last long

johnb5177 · 06-06-2014, 21:55

So true....bland and tasteless.....the lady at the weighbridge always had doggie bics for 4 legged `co drivers`she gave one to my Meggie collie dog...I said....where's mine.....wish I had not after.........

06-06-2014, 17:00	#1
R1cho Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Wales Vehicle: 1997 LandCruiser Colorado Posts: 4,201	I've been banned from tesco Yesterday I was at my local Tesco store buying a large bag of My Dog dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Dog Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 10 kilograms before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with My Dog nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. I'm now banned from Tesco. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.

06-06-2014, 17:16	#2
johnb5177 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Swansea, S.Wales Vehicle: 02Terrano II 3.0 SVE Auto Posts: 1,586

06-06-2014, 17:36	#3
ian's terrano Member Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: south yorkshire Vehicle: terrano 2 2.7TDI Posts: 74

06-06-2014, 18:19	#4
firebobby Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: South Bucks Vehicle: Terrano 3.0 SVE 2005 Posts: 3,499	Now, that's funny

06-06-2014, 19:35	#5
judd750 Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: west yorkshire Vehicle: 1998,1999, 2000, 2.7TDi Posts: 626	quality !!! Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk

06-06-2014, 19:38	#6
Dynamics Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Nelson's County Vehicle: TERRANO SWB 2.4 Petrol Posts: 568	Have you really got a dog then... You just say "Loyal pet" Are you sure it's not a guinea pig?

06-06-2014, 21:38	#7
Sweety Senior Member Join Date: May 2013 Location: Northumberland Vehicle: Terrano 2.7TDI SE LWB Posts: 3,604	Trust me you prob wouldn't want to eat dry dog food, all my last dogs ate meat with a bit of mixer but when this one was a pup she was on dry food & we had a hard job getting her to eat it even tho that's what she had been eating since being weened so I thought i'd try some OMG no wonder she wasn't tucking into it it tasted dreadful & it wasn't the cheap stuff but one of the top makes she was on meat & mixer the next day & it didn't last long

06-06-2014, 21:55	#8
johnb5177 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Swansea, S.Wales Vehicle: 02Terrano II 3.0 SVE Auto Posts: 1,586	So true....bland and tasteless.....the lady at the weighbridge always had doggie bics for 4 legged `co drivers`she gave one to my Meggie collie dog...I said....where's mine.....wish I had not after.........