joke time

briggie · 10-10-2012, 19:49

All Land Rovers are like women - They moan on long journey's, embarrass you in front of friends, and you spend more money than you ever expected once you've commit yourself to one.

Police officers shake your hand when they issue you a speeding ticket

Why do most Defenders have jerry cans and gas bottles fitted? - So that the driver can make coffee while waiting for the RAC

Land Rovers have the best fuel consumption of all 4x4's - That's because they are always being towed by something else.

Why do Land Rovers always drive in convoy? The are playing 'Who's the Weakest Link

I always wondered why Land Rover called their models, a Series 90, Defender 110 etc - But this weekend I found out, those numbers in the model name are the top speeds

When you drive on a motorway, you get these yellow emergency phones next to the road. Stop and look closer. On the phones there are emergency numbers like; police, ambulance, doctor, Land Rover etc.

Q: What goes on pages 4-5 of the Landy's users’ manual?
A: The train & bus schedule

Q: What is the sport-version of a Landy?
A: The driver wears Nike shoes

Q: What do you call a Landy with brakes?
A: Customized

Q: What do you have to do if your Landy gets in the way of a swarm of killer bees?
A: Stop pushing and take refuge in the car

Q: How do you make a Landy go faster uphill?
A: Throw out the passenger.

96terrano · 10-10-2012, 19:54

You're best one yet

10-10-2012, 19:49	#1
briggie Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: peoples democratic republic of west yorkshire Vehicle: " alice " Posts: 10,473	joke time All Land Rovers are like women - They moan on long journey's, embarrass you in front of friends, and you spend more money than you ever expected once you've commit yourself to one. Police officers shake your hand when they issue you a speeding ticket Why do most Defenders have jerry cans and gas bottles fitted? - So that the driver can make coffee while waiting for the RAC Land Rovers have the best fuel consumption of all 4x4's - That's because they are always being towed by something else. Why do Land Rovers always drive in convoy? The are playing 'Who's the Weakest Link I always wondered why Land Rover called their models, a Series 90, Defender 110 etc - But this weekend I found out, those numbers in the model name are the top speeds When you drive on a motorway, you get these yellow emergency phones next to the road. Stop and look closer. On the phones there are emergency numbers like; police, ambulance, doctor, Land Rover etc. Q: What goes on pages 4-5 of the Landy's users’ manual? A: The train & bus schedule Q: What is the sport-version of a Landy? A: The driver wears Nike shoes Q: What do you call a Landy with brakes? A: Customized Q: What do you have to do if your Landy gets in the way of a swarm of killer bees? A: Stop pushing and take refuge in the car Q: How do you make a Landy go faster uphill? A: Throw out the passenger.

10-10-2012, 19:54	#2
96terrano Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Dumfries and Galloway, Scotland Vehicle: Nissan Terrano 2.7TD LWB Posts: 8,024	You're best one yet