Go Back   :::.Nissan 4x4 Owners Club.::: > General > The Clubs Virtual Pub > Jokes humor and fun

Jokes humor and fun Keep it clean(ish)

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 24-01-2009, 18:57   #1
Deleted Member
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Talking The Understanding of Life for Men


1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a good memory.

I don't remember what I chose.



2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory..



3. A wife is a sex object.



Every time you ask for sex, she objects.



4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying



'No hard feelings....'



5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men -

'don't' and 'stop',

(unless they are used together.)





6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.





7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life:

Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.



8. Virginity can be cured.



9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.



10. Having sex is like playing bridge.

If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.



11. I tried phone sex once but the holes in the dialer were too small.


12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.



13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?


A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.





14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing.

He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.





15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?


A: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.





16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?


A: Breasts don't have eyes.



17. Despite the old saying,



'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!!







Send to the men who need a laugh and the women with a good sense of humor.

  Reply With Quote
Old 24-01-2009, 20:32   #2
tezzer
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: basildon essex
Vehicle: transit camper van 1987
Posts: 2,829
Default

nice one cosmic, i like it and it's true.











tezzer
tezzer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25-01-2009, 11:07   #3
Muzz
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: North West
Vehicle: Nissan Terrano II
Posts: 186
Default

PMSL
Muzz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25-01-2009, 12:05   #4
floyd500b
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 553
Default

Nice One
floyd500b is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25-01-2009, 12:39   #5
NEDDY
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Scotland
Vehicle: Maverick
Posts: 200
Smile

Could someone run that by me again
NEDDY is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25-01-2009, 16:26   #6
daveg
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: north west
Vehicle: nissan terrano 2.7td lwb
Posts: 119
Default

very funny, the wife agree,s as well because she knows it is true.....lol.....i guess i had better duck now.....ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dave g
daveg is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 13:39.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
Images online photo albums