Lazy-Ferret
Well-known member
- Joined
- Jun 14, 2012
- Messages
- 5,217
We popped down to see my mum yesterday, I say "Popped", but as anyone with a mum knows, you can never "Just Pop" down to see your mum, especially to drop off her Mothers Day stuff. She also had a few odd jobs she needed doing, and as she is about 70 miles away it always turns into a very long day.
I guess all mums are the same, I only have one, so it's hard to compare, but as normal, we spend several hours there talking about nothing in particular, then you start to try and leave about 10pm, but as it's such a long journey back to our house, she insists she will make us a drink before we go, so we stay a bit longer while she faffs around finding some biscuits, and then arranges them on plate, before she even puts the kettle on.. Finally, it's now 11pm, and the drink and biscuits are finished, so we stand to leave, but that reminds her, "do you remember old Joe from number 32, who's brothers sons daughter has just got engaged to Henry, from up court road's, sister's cousin's step nephew?". Me, "No", "I was not sure if you would, he probably moved in a couple of years ago..". Me, "Mum, I left home 34 years ago, I have no idea who Joe, or the rest of his family tree are, but why do you ask?" (Big mistake) By the time you have done the family trees, and discovered that I went to school with one of his step son's, mother's, son's, who was in a different year, and did not even live in the village at the time, so I had no knowledge of him at all, she informs me, "well he died last week"... We then spend more time getting to the bottom of which one of the 50 people she has managed to include in the story died, and as I don't really know any of them, I end up none the wiser, just 3 hours older.
By now, it's gone midnight, and we have still not got out to the car.
We finally go to the car, and she insists on walking us out, then starts to tell Suz about the plants she has growing. She has grown some extras in the greenhouse for Suz as well. We then get a list of all the plants she has grown, which results in her having to explain to us exactly what a Delphinium, Sweethollyprimurainium, and a lesser spotted yellowweedivy is, as we are not good with plant names, and tend to plant the garden by what looks good on the packet picture. We manage to persuade her we will get them next time we come down, as it is too dark to be trying to find things in the garden at 12:30am.
We finally get in the car, and wind the window down to wave goodbye, but she comes over to the window, and proceeds to tell me how complicated the dashboard of the car looks with all the gadgets, and that gets her onto the niggles with her car....
Finally, it's 1am, and 3 hours after we said we were going to leave, we get the engine started, and escape.
Because the clocks went forward last night, we finally got back home at just after 3am, but after driving 70miles, I can't just climb into bed, not only because there are 14 ferrets pleased to see us after spending the day alone, and are also demanding their night time meat, but it does take me a bit of time to wind down as well... So it's getting on for 4:30am, by the time we climb the stairs, and find our bed room, but the ferrets are all hyped up, not only have they just had their food, but we are going upstairs the same time as they would normally be getting up, so mayhem resumes.
As it is so late and we are now dog tired, we drop of into the sleep of the dead, immune to the ferrets jumping on the bed, and rearranging any moveable item in the house, even include a couple of what we thought were immovable ones.
About 8am, I wake up, a couple of the noises I can hear are different to normal... some odd bangs, and then Rustling... I can't think of anything downstairs that could rustle... Oh I know, they must have taken a newspaper out of the storage bin/crate... yeah, that's it, a newspaper... nothing to worry about, back to sleep.... wait a minute, we are out of news paper, we picked some up from mums last night, and they are still in the boot of my car... Bang bang, Dook Dook, rustle rustle dook dook... My mind is now wide awake, I will have to get up to check what the little darlings are doing....
Now, at this point, I had better explain, we have a cupboard in the kitchen that has 2 shelves. This cupboard has everything that does not have a logical place in the kitchen, so the top shelf has what I call the "flat pans" on it, baking trays, wire cooling trays, roasting dishes, that sort of thing and some of the attachments for the Kenwood Chef. The bottom shelf has "Stuff", things like rolls of Aluminium foil, cling film, sandwich bags, dishwasher and washing machine cleaner, gadgets that were bought on a spur, and never lived up to expectation, that sort of thing...
Another thing in there "Was", a roll of Baking paper in there... Apparently though, unbeknown to me, Baking paper is extra crackly, and is the enemy of the entire ferret world, this stuff needs to be killed, and killed, and even killed again... the more ferrets killing it simultaneously, the better apparently... That was the noise I could hear, about 12 very happy and over excited little monsters killing the Baking paper, which they had unrolled across the kitchen and hallway floor and were dancing and wrestling in, through, and over. The ferrets had also cleared most of the rest of the cupboard as well, and I guess it was those contents crashing to the floor that had eventually woken me up.
I tried to asked the ferrets what they thought they were doing, and their reply was "Making our human Mum breakfast in bed for mothers day", although quite what they will make with Pasta and Icing Sugar I dread to think, but that's Suz's problem I'm afraid.
I am off back to bed for another couple of hours, it's can't get much worse down here... (I hope)
I guess all mums are the same, I only have one, so it's hard to compare, but as normal, we spend several hours there talking about nothing in particular, then you start to try and leave about 10pm, but as it's such a long journey back to our house, she insists she will make us a drink before we go, so we stay a bit longer while she faffs around finding some biscuits, and then arranges them on plate, before she even puts the kettle on.. Finally, it's now 11pm, and the drink and biscuits are finished, so we stand to leave, but that reminds her, "do you remember old Joe from number 32, who's brothers sons daughter has just got engaged to Henry, from up court road's, sister's cousin's step nephew?". Me, "No", "I was not sure if you would, he probably moved in a couple of years ago..". Me, "Mum, I left home 34 years ago, I have no idea who Joe, or the rest of his family tree are, but why do you ask?" (Big mistake) By the time you have done the family trees, and discovered that I went to school with one of his step son's, mother's, son's, who was in a different year, and did not even live in the village at the time, so I had no knowledge of him at all, she informs me, "well he died last week"... We then spend more time getting to the bottom of which one of the 50 people she has managed to include in the story died, and as I don't really know any of them, I end up none the wiser, just 3 hours older.
By now, it's gone midnight, and we have still not got out to the car.
We finally go to the car, and she insists on walking us out, then starts to tell Suz about the plants she has growing. She has grown some extras in the greenhouse for Suz as well. We then get a list of all the plants she has grown, which results in her having to explain to us exactly what a Delphinium, Sweethollyprimurainium, and a lesser spotted yellowweedivy is, as we are not good with plant names, and tend to plant the garden by what looks good on the packet picture. We manage to persuade her we will get them next time we come down, as it is too dark to be trying to find things in the garden at 12:30am.
We finally get in the car, and wind the window down to wave goodbye, but she comes over to the window, and proceeds to tell me how complicated the dashboard of the car looks with all the gadgets, and that gets her onto the niggles with her car....
Finally, it's 1am, and 3 hours after we said we were going to leave, we get the engine started, and escape.
Because the clocks went forward last night, we finally got back home at just after 3am, but after driving 70miles, I can't just climb into bed, not only because there are 14 ferrets pleased to see us after spending the day alone, and are also demanding their night time meat, but it does take me a bit of time to wind down as well... So it's getting on for 4:30am, by the time we climb the stairs, and find our bed room, but the ferrets are all hyped up, not only have they just had their food, but we are going upstairs the same time as they would normally be getting up, so mayhem resumes.
As it is so late and we are now dog tired, we drop of into the sleep of the dead, immune to the ferrets jumping on the bed, and rearranging any moveable item in the house, even include a couple of what we thought were immovable ones.
About 8am, I wake up, a couple of the noises I can hear are different to normal... some odd bangs, and then Rustling... I can't think of anything downstairs that could rustle... Oh I know, they must have taken a newspaper out of the storage bin/crate... yeah, that's it, a newspaper... nothing to worry about, back to sleep.... wait a minute, we are out of news paper, we picked some up from mums last night, and they are still in the boot of my car... Bang bang, Dook Dook, rustle rustle dook dook... My mind is now wide awake, I will have to get up to check what the little darlings are doing....
Now, at this point, I had better explain, we have a cupboard in the kitchen that has 2 shelves. This cupboard has everything that does not have a logical place in the kitchen, so the top shelf has what I call the "flat pans" on it, baking trays, wire cooling trays, roasting dishes, that sort of thing and some of the attachments for the Kenwood Chef. The bottom shelf has "Stuff", things like rolls of Aluminium foil, cling film, sandwich bags, dishwasher and washing machine cleaner, gadgets that were bought on a spur, and never lived up to expectation, that sort of thing...
Another thing in there "Was", a roll of Baking paper in there... Apparently though, unbeknown to me, Baking paper is extra crackly, and is the enemy of the entire ferret world, this stuff needs to be killed, and killed, and even killed again... the more ferrets killing it simultaneously, the better apparently... That was the noise I could hear, about 12 very happy and over excited little monsters killing the Baking paper, which they had unrolled across the kitchen and hallway floor and were dancing and wrestling in, through, and over. The ferrets had also cleared most of the rest of the cupboard as well, and I guess it was those contents crashing to the floor that had eventually woken me up.
I tried to asked the ferrets what they thought they were doing, and their reply was "Making our human Mum breakfast in bed for mothers day", although quite what they will make with Pasta and Icing Sugar I dread to think, but that's Suz's problem I'm afraid.
I am off back to bed for another couple of hours, it's can't get much worse down here... (I hope)
