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I've been back to the doc again. I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants. He says I have Feefiphobia

All this two wheeled nonsense is drivin' me crackers... ...so I'll send alluyus a virus! That'll learn ya.

After 10 years, the wife starts to think their kid looks kind of strange. So she decides to do a DNA test. She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents. Wife: Honey, I have something very serious to tell you. Husband: What’s up? Wife: According to the DNA test...

A farmer in Gods great county of Devon sees a bloke drinking from his stream & shouts, "Yur bey! Ya dasn't wanna be drinkin outta thik thay water, tiz full o' cow muck an' slurry off me fields". The bloke says "I'm from London my good man and just purchased a property in the village can...

I notice with interest that a new emoji has made an appearance. I suspect it is only available to one selected user, but I like it! Maybe we should all hug a ferret. :D As an aside, how do you make/use your own emoji's? :nenau

If you are easily offended.... ... read no further !!!! Once upon a time a hunter decided he would explore the local forest to see what quarry was about. He had been travelling through the forest for a while when he thought he saw something up ahead in the undergrowth. Moving forward he...

It's dreadful! Can't get a seat on the roof terrace in the Wimbledon members lounge. Having to stand whilst drinking my beer watching the tennis. Oh the indignity! :(

Snap quiz! Took this photo of my dash this morning. Look at the average mpg. Got similar results the last three morning. I appreciate that this is only a five mile trip all three mornings, but I'm well pleased with that figure. Can anyone guess the vehicle?

Just had an email through from a company I've used for workshop stuff, tools, sundries, materials, spares, fastening, fuel lines, etc. 20% Discount on EVERYTHING !!!!! Copy of email pasted below. :thumb2 Beal UK are pleased to offer a 2017 Easter discount of 20% across our whole range of...

So... Occasionally, (three times), I get in the truck, turn the ignition on and the dash stays light-less, the windows are inoperable as are the wipers... ...but the truck will start and run. The first time it happened I was part way down the road when I realised there was nothing happening...

Odd one this. My wife teaches Westen Style horse riding. From time to time she runs "clinics", basically these are four to six hour long lessons for a group of riders and spectators. Now don't get me wrong, my wife can be plenty loud, but sometimes the large indoor arenas she hires have awful...

New toy arrived today !!! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, :jump My cheapo USB/Android phone endoscope camera has arrived. Packaging a bit scruffy (cardboard bag inside jiffy bag) but contents look okay. The instructions are a bit crap, looks like they've received a shrinking ray at some point. You...

1 who actually changes the oil and filter. 90 who complain about the price of the oil and filter, how manufacturers are fleecing everybody and how they're not going to play the manufacturers' game anymore. 5 who claim that you can make the oil and filter from common household materials for...

I'm hoping Maca is floating about. My Sprinter, 62 plate, decided to have a flat battery this afternoon. It started fine this morning, drove for 15 minutes to clients house, parked it for the day on their drive. 5.30 this evening, turned the key and all I got was a bit of fluttering and then a...

Whilst pootling around another forum, no I'm not being unfaithful (model railways), someone had posted this little gem of a link. http://www.gearbest.com/microscopes-endoscope/pp_229387.html?utm_source=tt_de I've ordered one, worth a punt at that price I thought. I'll let you know what it's...

A guy is sitting on the edge of a tank at the sewage treatment works taking swipes at the revolving sprinkler. A workmate walking past sees this and enquires as to what he's doing. "It was hot, so I took my jacket off, but I dropped it and now it's caught on the sprinkler. I'm trying to get...

Fellas, a while back (last year), some how we trundled into the realms of the VW emissions saga and someone on here had a letter from a VW dealer regarding taking the vehicle in for "adaption". The said person had a chat with a technician (or someone else) and decided not to get it done...

Just found out Rick Parfitt has died. Seen Quo on a number of occasions. Probably one of the greatest rythmn guitarists ever. RIP you legend. Rock the heavens, you sure as hell rocked the world. :(

Need some help and guidance please. We currently have a Freeview (Toshiba) TV. Works great, plenty of channels working off an original terrestrial aerial (we live on a ridge). We would like to be able to record programmes to watch at a later date. How? I'm not interested in any...

I just thought I put some thoughts down on "paper". I have a bit of involvement in a couple of forums, this one being the main one. Something happened on the other forum which bought sharply into focus just how great this place is. I was reading a post about a process and had a question. I...