Poison Filled Cakes

[Monaro Pete]

Uhmmmm Yum Yum

I was chatting with my mum earlier & she was saying that she has a problem with a cake thief.

She bakes cakes & pastries, sells them & then gives the funds minus her costs to a local charity.
She pops some cakes & jams in a box at the end of the garden on the gate for people to take & put their money in the honesty box.

At first the birds got the blame for the chewed up cake, but then she found evidence of another tree dwelling inhabitant............. Yes, you guessed it

GREY SQUIRRELS

So she moved the cakes & jams into a cool box with a lid. Nope still got in & ate the cake.
She has since taken the sales away from the gate until she comes up with a better idea.

I suggested putting some cake hidden away from public view some where in the garden that only a squirrel would find, but nicely laced with rat poison.

She's over the moon with the idea & I think production will start pretty damn quick.

I think it's about we introduced the Pine Marten back to England & eradicated the grey bast....

[jims-terrano]

Plug em with the air rifle and then stick em on the bbq

[emjaybee]

They tend to die of lead poisoning around here.

[macabethiel]

You need one of those Humane Traps and when you catch the blighter drive into the countryside a couple of miles away.

Then beat it to death with a Ball Pein Hammer this will tenderise the meat before you cook it on the Barbecue.

[Monaro Pete]

Originally Posted by macabethiel

You need one of those Humane Traps and when you catch the blighter drive into the countryside a couple of miles away.

Then beat it to death with a Ball Pein Hammer this will tenderise the meat before you cook it on the Barbecue.

At very first read I thought we had a squirrel lover until I read it all

She used to catch them in a trap. until the little shits got wise to it. She would then hand them to the local game keeper for tenderisation

[johnb5177]

Mmm, rather partial to squirrel.....tastes like........squirrel......

[macabethiel]

Originally Posted by Monaro Pete

At very first read I thought we had a squirrel lover until I read it all

She used to catch them in a trap. until the little shits got wise to it. She would then hand them to the local game keeper for tenderisation

The journey into the countryside is to remove any chance of a witness to the deed. Beware of covert cameras against fly tippers though.lol

[Blocky10]

Originally Posted by macabethiel

The journey into the countryside is to remove any chance of a witness to the deed. Beware of covert cameras against fly tippers though.lol

He'll be fine. He not tipping flies

[emjaybee]

Originally Posted by Blocky10

He'll be fine. He not tipping flies

Is that like tipping cows?

[macabethiel]

Yes but without the sex motive !

[Monaro Pete]

So cow tipping is a sexual behaviour

I'm not going to Google it, I think I don't want to know

[Blocky10]

Originally Posted by Monaro Pete

So cow tipping is a sexual behaviour

I'm not going to Google it, I think I don't want to know

No idea. I'm a city boy, so just eat em. No tipping involved

[johnb5177]

I dunno.........

Cow tipping is the purported activity of sneaking up on any unsuspecting or sleeping upright cow and pushing it over for entertainment. The practice of cow tipping is generally considered an urban legend, and stories of such feats viewed as tall tales.

Sounds a bit daft to me.......the Red Devons I've ever met were like mountains...good luck...

[Monaro Pete]

Originally Posted by johnb5177

I dunno.........

Cow tipping is the purported activity of sneaking up on any unsuspecting or sleeping upright cow and pushing it over for entertainment. The practice of cow tipping is generally considered an urban legend, and stories of such feats viewed as tall tales.

Sounds a bit daft to me.......the Red Devons I've ever met were like mountains...good luck...

Seeing how much a cow weighs, I can't see this happening.
Before someone says that cows don't sleep standing up, yes they do.

Pleased it's nothing sexual as the cow's arse area is usually covered in poo

[macabethiel]

Originally Posted by Monaro Pete

Pleased it's nothing sexual as the cow's arse area is usually covered in poo

Doesn't seem to put some queer folk off apparently!