13-09-2010, 18:27 | #16 |
Junior Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Northampton
Vehicle: Ford Maverick '96 2.7td
Posts: 20
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On a golf tour in Newfoundland , Tiger Woods drives his new Ford Fusion
into a gas station in a remote part of town. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Newfoundland manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is. ''How's she cuttin' bye'' says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick 'hello' and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground. ''What are dose?'' asks the attendant. ''They're called tees'' replies Tiger. ''Well, what on god's earth are dey for?'' inquires the attendant.. ''They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving'', says Tiger. ''Fookin Jaysus'', says the Newfoundlander, ''Ford tinks of everyting! |
13-09-2010, 21:22 | #17 |
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Redcar, Teesside
Vehicle: Y60 Patrol 4.2 PeTroll
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13-09-2010, 21:23 | #18 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Redcar, Teesside
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I saw a man with a cabbage on a lead going across the park .i said what u doing with a cabbage on a lead ,,he looked at me and said ..oh i thought it was a collie
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13-09-2010, 21:24 | #19 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Redcar, Teesside
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What's Orange and sounds like a Parrot??
A Carrot!!! |
13-09-2010, 21:26 | #20 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Redcar, Teesside
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Man 'Doctor I've got a peanut stuck up me arse!!!'
Doctor 'Go home and have a bar of dairy milk and it'll come out a "treat"!!' |
13-09-2010, 21:33 | #21 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Redcar, Teesside
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I thought i was going mad heard something laughing in the pantry. I opened the door it was a tickled onion!!
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13-09-2010, 21:35 | #22 |
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Redcar, Teesside
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I hate going to a shop and forgetting things. I went to staples the stationers for some materials to do posters! Got there and there was something i needed but could not remember i hate it when that happens! I got home and was just coming in when I saw the rear end of my cat going through the cat flap tail in the air ,then I remembered it was a pencil sharpener id forgot . .
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13-09-2010, 21:40 | #23 |
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Location: peoples democratic republic of west yorkshire
Vehicle: " alice "
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13-09-2010, 21:43 | #24 |
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: East Anglia. Buh.
Vehicle: 1997 LWB Maverick 2.7TDi
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why did the psychic cross the road ?
to get to the other side. |
13-09-2010, 21:45 | #25 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: peoples democratic republic of west yorkshire
Vehicle: " alice "
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An Englishman stops Paddy for directions... "Excuse me pal, what's the quickest way to Dublin?"
Paddy says "Are you on foot or in the car?" The Englishman says "In the car." Paddy replies "That's the quickest!" |
13-09-2010, 22:33 | #26 | |
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Location: Redcar, Teesside
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Quote:
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13-09-2010, 23:38 | #27 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: peoples democratic republic of west yorkshire
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come on .... im sure we can do better ( worse ? )
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14-09-2010, 07:12 | #28 |
Junior Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: South West
Vehicle: Nissan Patrol
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Whats blue and smells like red paint?
Blue paint. |
14-09-2010, 07:13 | #29 |
Junior Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: South West
Vehicle: Nissan Patrol
Posts: 5
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What do you call a blind dinosaur?
Do-you-think-he-saw-us. |
14-09-2010, 07:14 | #30 |
Junior Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: South West
Vehicle: Nissan Patrol
Posts: 5
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What do you call a blind dinosaur's dog?
Do-you-think-he-saw-us Rex. |
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