gunslinger

briggie · 31-08-2016, 18:41

AN OLD WOMAN WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCHING POST.
AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER. THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED, "HEY OLD WOMAN, HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?"

THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED UP AT THE GUNSLINGER AND SAID, "NO,... I NEVER DID DANCE... NEVER REALLY WANTED TO."

A CROWD HAD GATHERED AS THE GUNSLINGER GRINNED AND SAID "WELL, YOU OLD BAG, YOU'RE GONNA DANCE NOW," AND STARTED SHOOTING AT THE OLD WOMAN'S FEET.

THE OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR -- NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOE BLOWN OFF --STARTED HOPPING AROUND. EVERYBODY WAS LAUGHING. WHEN HIS LAST BULLET HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER, STILL LAUGHING, HOLSTERED HIS GUN AND TURNED AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE SALOON.

THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER PACK MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-BARRELED SHOTGUN, AND COCKED BOTH HAMMERS.
THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY THROUGH THE DESERT AIR, AND THE CROWD STOPPED LAUGHING IMMEDIATELY.

THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE SOUNDS, TOO, AND HE TURNED AROUND VERY SLOWLY. THE SILENCE WAS ALMOST DEAFENING. THE CROWD WATCHED AS THE YOUNG GUNMAN STARED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND THE LARGE GAPING HOLES OF THOSE TWIN BARRELS.

THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD WOMAN'S HANDS, AS SHE QUIETLY SAID, "SON, HAVE YOU EVER KISSED A MULE'S ASS?"

THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD AND SAID, "NO M'AM... BUT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO.

THERE ARE FIVE LESSONS HERE FOR ALL OF US:

1 - Never be arrogant.
2 - Don't waste ammunition.
3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
4 - Always make sure you know who has the power.
5 - Don't mess with old people; they didn't get old by being stupid.

solarman216 · 31-08-2016, 19:09

Like it, Rick

Monaro Pete · 31-08-2016, 19:55

5. Don't mess with old people; they didn't get old by being stupid.

Strange how most middle lane sitters I see are old, which is a stupid act

johnb5177 · 31-08-2016, 20:22

I thought 50+ was part of the entry criteria for CLOG........apart from being a useless driver...

Monaro Pete · 01-09-2016, 17:17

Quote:

Originally Posted by johnb5177

I thought 50+ was part of the entry criteria for CLOG........apart from being a useless driver...

I turn 50 in Nov. Does this mean that I'll start driving down the motorway in the center lane whilst doing 50mph, pulling across in front of other drivers & driving at 20 below the limit, forget to use indicators at roundabouts & blame all other's for my mistakes

NOOOOOOO

johnb5177 · 02-09-2016, 12:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by Monaro Pete

I turn 50 in Nov. Does this mean that I'll start driving down the motorway in the center lane whilst doing 50mph, pulling across in front of other drivers & driving at 20 below the limit, forget to use indicators at roundabouts & blame all other's for my mistakes

NOOOOOOO

No you'll be fine......you have to be French to do all that....

Thomas61 · 02-09-2016, 16:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by johnb5177

No you'll be fine......you have to be French to do all that....

Or be a driver on the Isle of Wight. Except the motorway bit that is typically experienced driving over here.

rustic · 03-09-2016, 07:09

In Azerbaijan, especially in the main city Baku, they have one simple rule, the car who's bumper is ahead of the other has right of way.
In a three lane highway, when busy, cars drive between lanes so at any point, there could be 7 lanes or more.
As there are no kerbs or barriers between oncomming traffic, when the three lanes are full with 7 lanes of traffic, they then spill over into the oncomming lanes. Brilliant idea

Could try that on the M25 lol

So what do their cars look like? there are deep dents on virtually every panel of every car, if your car has only a few dents, it must be fairly new.

The most common car, is the Lada, based on the old fiat.
I know Ladas were still being built in Russia, upto a few years ago, not so sure now.
The Ladas are old technology, can be fixed at the roadside, as you drive down the streets, there are rows of little private garages, like pit stops lol, a stack of tyres outside, and usually a Lada being worked on inside. No room for any other cars in there.
Those garages without any work, the mechanic stands outside usually smoking
some strong Russian brand, waiting for the next Lada to break down, before dragging it into his lair lol.
Rustic

31-08-2016, 18:41	#1
briggie Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: peoples democratic republic of west yorkshire Vehicle: " alice " Posts: 10,473	gunslinger AN OLD WOMAN WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCHING POST. AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER. THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED, "HEY OLD WOMAN, HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?" THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED UP AT THE GUNSLINGER AND SAID, "NO,... I NEVER DID DANCE... NEVER REALLY WANTED TO." A CROWD HAD GATHERED AS THE GUNSLINGER GRINNED AND SAID "WELL, YOU OLD BAG, YOU'RE GONNA DANCE NOW," AND STARTED SHOOTING AT THE OLD WOMAN'S FEET. THE OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR -- NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOE BLOWN OFF --STARTED HOPPING AROUND. EVERYBODY WAS LAUGHING. WHEN HIS LAST BULLET HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER, STILL LAUGHING, HOLSTERED HIS GUN AND TURNED AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE SALOON. THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER PACK MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-BARRELED SHOTGUN, AND COCKED BOTH HAMMERS. THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY THROUGH THE DESERT AIR, AND THE CROWD STOPPED LAUGHING IMMEDIATELY. THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE SOUNDS, TOO, AND HE TURNED AROUND VERY SLOWLY. THE SILENCE WAS ALMOST DEAFENING. THE CROWD WATCHED AS THE YOUNG GUNMAN STARED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND THE LARGE GAPING HOLES OF THOSE TWIN BARRELS. THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD WOMAN'S HANDS, AS SHE QUIETLY SAID, "SON, HAVE YOU EVER KISSED A MULE'S ASS?" THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD AND SAID, "NO M'AM... BUT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO. THERE ARE FIVE LESSONS HERE FOR ALL OF US: 1 - Never be arrogant. 2 - Don't waste ammunition. 3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are. 4 - Always make sure you know who has the power. 5 - Don't mess with old people; they didn't get old by being stupid.

31-08-2016, 19:09	#2
solarman216 Off road maniac Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Bexhill on Sea Vehicle: Y60 Patrol Me, 3 ltr Mrs Posts: 17,428	Like it, Rick __________________ Ex banger racer now off road maniac Lokka on the front with manual hubs Diff lock on rear 3 inch SS straight through exhaust Manly winch bumper with 13000 lb winch 10 spike ground anchor, with multiple straps and blocks Super strong body cills capped with scaffold pole 20% stronger springs all round aggressive off road tyres on wheels so just swap. Aim to get stuck and be completely self sufficient in extraction, love getting muddy, 2ft deep is good but rare.

31-08-2016, 19:55	#3
Monaro Pete Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2016 Location: Nr J28 M1 Vehicle: 03 Terrano 2.7 TDi Posts: 995	5. Don't mess with old people; they didn't get old by being stupid. Strange how most middle lane sitters I see are old, which is a stupid act

31-08-2016, 20:22	#4
johnb5177 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Swansea, S.Wales Vehicle: 02Terrano II 3.0 SVE Auto Posts: 1,586	I thought 50+ was part of the entry criteria for CLOG........apart from being a useless driver...