your midweek briggie joke

briggie · 19-06-2013, 21:34

A man visited a fortuneteller and sat down in front of her crystal ball. "I see you are the father of two children," she said.

"That's what you think," the man replied. "I'm the father of three children."

The fortuneteller smiled and said, "That's what you think."

rustic · 20-06-2013, 08:57

The Bacon Tree.

Two illegal Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says.........

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk."

"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. "

With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon ... every imaginable kind of cured pork.

"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree."

"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget."

"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."

And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath,

"Pepe... go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"

"Luis, Luis mi amigo... what ees it? "

"Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree. Ees

Ees

Ees

Ees

Ees a ham bush...."

SO SORRY.... I know there is something wrong with me for sending you this. Just couldn't help it!

And I bet you tried to do the accent, didn't you - I know you did!

Rustic

19-06-2013, 21:34	#1
briggie Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: peoples democratic republic of west yorkshire Vehicle: " alice " Posts: 10,473	your midweek briggie joke A man visited a fortuneteller and sat down in front of her crystal ball. "I see you are the father of two children," she said. "That's what you think," the man replied. "I'm the father of three children." The fortuneteller smiled and said, "That's what you think."

20-06-2013, 08:57	#2
rustic Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Staffordshire Vehicle: Maverick Mk I 2.7 TD LWB Posts: 7,825	The Bacon Tree The Bacon Tree. Two illegal Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says......... "Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk." "Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. " With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon. There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon ... every imaginable kind of cured pork. "Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree." "Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget." "Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree." And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath, "Pepe... go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!" "Luis, Luis mi amigo... what ees it? " "Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree. Ees Ees Ees Ees Ees a ham bush...." SO SORRY.... I know there is something wrong with me for sending you this. Just couldn't help it! And I bet you tried to do the accent, didn't you - I know you did! Rustic __________________ Ford Maverick GLX 1995 2.7TD LWB in illusion silver, 98k miles. Owned since new, for 22 years. Best car I have ever owned. Just wish I could drive it more.