Little johnny strikes again !!

[briggie]

The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.'

The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word fascinate, not fascinating'.

Sally raised her hand. She said, 'My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.'

The teacher said, 'Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'

Little Johnny raised his hand.

The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before.

She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word 'fascinate', so she called on him for his offering.

Johnny said, 'My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight.'

The teacher sat down and cried............

[The Patrolman]

After the teacher recovered her next word was 'Contagious '
Sally ' my sister had the measels and it was Contagious '

Teacher ' Very good sally '
little Johnny at the back of the class almost busrting with his hand up!! ' Miss Miss '

'Yes Johnny'

'Miss my dad was painting the big fence arouund our garden and my mumm said " this is going to take the ''' Contagious ''' '

[briggie]

Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, "Mom, what are those things on your chest!?" Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten.

Johnny didn't forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with the answers, says, "Why Johnny, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she'll float to heaven." Johnny thinks that's neat and asks no more questions.

A few weeks later, Johnnys' dad comes home from work a few hours early. Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, "Daddy! Daddy! Mommy's dying!!" His father says, "Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy's dying?" "Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommys' balloons and she's screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!"

[briggie]

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out,"Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!"

The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'

Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go."

Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a ten

[The Patrolman]

Teacher ' today class we're going to talk about occupations'

What do your parents do!!

Sally ' my frather is a fireman miss '

teacher ' very good sally he helps save peoples lives!! '

Robert ' my pop is a bin man Miss '

Teacher ' Very good Robert.. he help keep every where clean n tidy!! '

After going around all the class, little Johnny is left quiet at the back of the class!!

Teacher ' Come on Johnny what does your farther do for a living?? '

Johnny ' You know that's not fair miss you know my farther's dead miss!! '

Teacher ' Well Johnny what did he do before he died? '

Johnny ' He coughed up blood and fell over the coffee table miss!! '