Offensive Jokes, you have been warned

tezzer · 17-10-2009, 23:17

Tasmanian couple walking out of the divorce court, the wife is crying her heart out.
Husband says ' Oh for f**k's sake stop crying, you're still my sister'

__________________________________

My ex-wife asked what reincarnation is. I explained, when you die you come back as something else.

She said she wanted to come back as a pig.

I said, 'You're not f**king listening'
_____________________________________________

Was depressed last night, rang lifeline. Got a call centre in Afghanistan , told them I was suicidal.

They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

_______________________________________________

I am going to watch my wedding video in reverse later.

I love the part where she takes her ring off and walks down the isle backwards, gets in the car and f**ks off.

__________________________________________________

Today an Abbo was found nailed to a tree, stabbed six times and shot twice.

Redfern police said it's the worst case of suicide they had ever seen.

__________________________________________________ _

A car bomb was found outside Lakemba mosque today. Police have urged the public not to panic as they have managed to push it inside the mosque.

__________________________________________________ __

Woman goes into a shoe shop and sees a gorgeous pair of white stilettos.
She asks what are they made of.

The assistant said they were made from human skin and cost $1500.00 a pair.

The woman said she could not afford that. The assistant said says 'Don't worry, we have them in black for $4.99.

__________________________________________________ ____

Woman in labour, shouting and screaming as usual, 'get this out of me, give me drugs'.

She turns to the boyfriend and says You did this to me you f**ker'.

He replied casually, If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse but you said, F**k off it'll be too painful, Now who's laughing

18-10-2009, 12:37

rolling about on the floor laughing,very funny i liked the wedding video so much i used it on my status update on facebook,,pmsl

17-10-2009, 23:17	#1
tezzer Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: basildon essex Vehicle: transit camper van 1987 Posts: 2,829	Offensive Jokes, you have been warned Tasmanian couple walking out of the divorce court, the wife is crying her heart out. Husband says ' Oh for fk's sake stop crying, you're still my sister' __________________________________ My ex-wife asked what reincarnation is. I explained, when you die you come back as something else. She said she wanted to come back as a pig. I said, 'You're not fking listening' _____________________________________________ Was depressed last night, rang lifeline. Got a call centre in Afghanistan , told them I was suicidal. They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck. _______________________________________________ I am going to watch my wedding video in reverse later. I love the part where she takes her ring off and walks down the isle backwards, gets in the car and fks off. __________________________________________________ Today an Abbo was found nailed to a tree, stabbed six times and shot twice. Redfern police said it's the worst case of suicide they had ever seen. __________________________________________________ _ A car bomb was found outside Lakemba mosque today. Police have urged the public not to panic as they have managed to push it inside the mosque. __________________________________________________ __ Woman goes into a shoe shop and sees a gorgeous pair of white stilettos. She asks what are they made of. The assistant said they were made from human skin and cost $1500.00 a pair. The woman said she could not afford that. The assistant said says 'Don't worry, we have them in black for $4.99. __________________________________________________ ____ Woman in labour, shouting and screaming as usual, 'get this out of me, give me drugs'. She turns to the boyfriend and says You did this to me you fker'. He replied casually, If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse but you said, F**k off it'll be too painful, Now who's laughing

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18-10-2009, 12:37	#2
ashley kordowski Guest Posts: n/a	rolling about on the floor laughing,very funny i liked the wedding video so much i used it on my status update on facebook,,pmsl