|
|
23-01-2017, 22:29
|
#1 |
|
Senior Member
 Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Hampshire
Vehicle: Terrano but now Honda CRV
Posts: 658
|
Qantas Airlines Gripe sheet.
After every flight, Qantas Airlines pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.
Here are some supposedly actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution as recorded by Qantas maintenance engineers. (P = The problem logged by the pilot.) (S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.) P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on backorder. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're there for. P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget. |
|
|
|
23-01-2017, 22:32
|
#2 |
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Swansea, S.Wales
Vehicle: 02Terrano II 3.0 SVE Auto
Posts: 1,586
|
|
|
|
|
|
23-01-2017, 22:49
|
#3 |
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Gone.
Vehicle: Terrano ii
Posts: 2,215
|
Oh that is bloody good.
|
|
|
|
|
23-01-2017, 23:29
|
#4 |
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Oxfordshire
Vehicle: 3.0Di SVE '05 5 door.
Posts: 1,536
|
|
|
|
|
|
24-01-2017, 00:23
|
#5 |
|
Off road maniac
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Bexhill on Sea
Vehicle: Y60 Patrol Me, 3 ltr Mrs
Posts: 17,428
|
Yea but if this is genuine, does that not say something for the standard of maintenance of our passenger aircraft? bet there is more truth in that than you imagine, glad I will not be flying again, Rick
__________________
Ex banger racer now off road maniac  Lokka on the front with manual hubs Diff lock on rear 3 inch SS straight through exhaust Manly winch bumper with 13000 lb winch 10 spike ground anchor, with multiple straps and blocks Super strong body cills capped with scaffold pole 20% stronger springs all round aggressive off road tyres on wheels so just swap. Aim to get stuck and be completely self sufficient in extraction, love getting muddy, 2ft deep is good but rare. |
|
|
|
|
24-01-2017, 08:35
|
#6 |
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: clacton on sea essex
Vehicle: nissan terrano 2 2.7 tdi
Posts: 1,637
|
like council then.
|
|
|
|
|
24-01-2017, 11:17
|
#7 |
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Derby
Vehicle: Freelander & Jeep GC 3.0
Posts: 4,416
|
Look out Briggie !!
Competiton has arrived for Best Joke in January 2017.
|
|
|
|
 |
| Thread Tools | |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
Linear Mode
