inland revenue visit

briggie · 10-01-2016, 22:10

At the end of the tax year, the Inland revenue office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital.
While the Inland Revenue agent was checking the books, he turned to the CEO of the hospital and said,
“I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there’s too little left to be of any use?”
“Good question ,” noted the CEO. “We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every once in a while, they send us a free roll.”
“Oh,” replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way. “What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what’s left over after setting a cast on a patient?”
“Ah, yes,” replied the CEO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. “We save it and send it back to the manufacturer and every so often they will send us a free bag of plaster.”
“I see,” replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CEO.
“Well,” he went on, “What do you do with all the remains from the circumcision surgeries?”
“Here, too, we do not waste,” answered the CEO. “What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the Inland Revenue office, and about once a year they send us a complete prick.”

AlexD333 · 10-01-2016, 22:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by briggie

At the end of the tax year, the Inland revenue office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital.
While the Inland Revenue agent was checking the books, he turned to the CEO of the hospital and said,
“I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there’s too little left to be of any use?”
“Good question ,” noted the CEO. “We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every once in a while, they send us a free roll.”
“Oh,” replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way. “What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what’s left over after setting a cast on a patient?”
“Ah, yes,” replied the CEO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. “We save it and send it back to the manufacturer and every so often they will send us a free bag of plaster.”
“I see,” replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CEO.
“Well,” he went on, “What do you do with all the remains from the circumcision surgeries?”
“Here, too, we do not waste,” answered the CEO. “What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the Inland Revenue office, and about once a year they send us a complete prick.”

Best joke of 2016 so far

solarman216 · 10-01-2016, 22:29

Love it, Rick

Paff · 10-01-2016, 23:37

bry · 11-01-2016, 09:48

Ace Pete...

macabethiel · 11-01-2016, 18:42

Good one !

Paultrol · 11-01-2016, 23:26

10-01-2016, 22:10	#1
briggie Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: peoples democratic republic of west yorkshire Vehicle: " alice " Posts: 10,473	inland revenue visit At the end of the tax year, the Inland revenue office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital. While the Inland Revenue agent was checking the books, he turned to the CEO of the hospital and said, “I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there’s too little left to be of any use?” “Good question ,” noted the CEO. “We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every once in a while, they send us a free roll.” “Oh,” replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way. “What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what’s left over after setting a cast on a patient?” “Ah, yes,” replied the CEO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. “We save it and send it back to the manufacturer and every so often they will send us a free bag of plaster.” “I see,” replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CEO. “Well,” he went on, “What do you do with all the remains from the circumcision surgeries?” “Here, too, we do not waste,” answered the CEO. “What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the Inland Revenue office, and about once a year they send us a complete prick.”

10-01-2016, 22:29	#3
solarman216 Off road maniac Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Bexhill on Sea Vehicle: Y60 Patrol Me, 3 ltr Mrs Posts: 17,431	Love it, Rick __________________ Ex banger racer now off road maniac Lokka on the front with manual hubs Diff lock on rear 3 inch SS straight through exhaust Manly winch bumper with 13000 lb winch 10 spike ground anchor, with multiple straps and blocks Super strong body cills capped with scaffold pole 20% stronger springs all round aggressive off road tyres on wheels so just swap. Aim to get stuck and be completely self sufficient in extraction, love getting muddy, 2ft deep is good but rare.

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10-01-2016, 23:37	#4
Paff Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2014 Location: Just north of Ipswich, Suffolk Vehicle: Terrano II 2.7 SE+ Auto Posts: 1,094

11-01-2016, 09:48	#5
bry Senior Member Join Date: May 2013 Location: South Yorkshire.. Vehicle: Nissan Terrano MK 2 SE Posts: 1,757	Ace Pete...

11-01-2016, 18:42	#6
macabethiel Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Derby Vehicle: Freelander & Jeep GC 3.0 Posts: 4,416	Good one !

11-01-2016, 23:26	#7
Paultrol Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2015 Location: South east Vehicle: Patrol Posts: 403