15-01-2009, 21:10 | #1 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: basildon essex
Vehicle: transit camper van 1987
Posts: 2,829
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then the fight started
> After retiring, I went to the Social Security
> > office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the > > counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my > > age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my > > wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but > > I would have to go home and come back later. > > > > The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I > > opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, > > 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for > > me' and she processed my Social Security application. > > > > When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my > > experience at the Social Security office. > > > > She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. > > You might have gotten disability, too.' > > > > And then the fight started... > > > > > > ------------ --------- --------- --------- > > --------- --------- --------- --------- ----- > > > > My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high > > school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady > > swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. > > > > My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' > > > > 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old > > girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we > > split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't > > been sober since.' > > > > 'My God!' says my wife, 'who would > > think a person could go on celebrating that long?' > > > > And then the fight started... > > > > > > > > > > ------------ --------- --------- --------- > > --------- --------- --------- --------- ----- > > > > > > > > I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for > > some reason, took my order first. > > > > "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, > > please." > > > > He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad > > cow?"" > > > > Nah, she can order for herself." > > > > And then the fight started... > > > > ------------ --------- --------- --- > > > > A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom > > mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her > > husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I > > really need you to pay me a compliment.' > > > > The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn > > near perfect.' > > > > And then the fight started..... > > tezzer |
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