a few landrover jokes

briggie · 11-06-2014, 10:02

They say 90% of all Land Rovers manufactured are still on the road.
The other 10% have reached their destination.

Land Rovers are just like married women…
They moan on long journeys, embarrass you in front of friends and
you spend more money than you ever expected once you've committed
yourself to one.

Traffic cops congratulate you when they issue you a speeding ticket!

Why do Land Rovers have jerry cans and gas bottles fitted?
So that the driver can make coffee while waiting for AA road assistance.

Land Rovers have the best fuel consumption of all 4x4s.
That's because they are always being towed by other vehicles.

Why do Land Rovers always drive in convoy?
They are playing ‘Who’s The Weakest Link?’

When you drive on a toll road, you’ll notice these yellow emergency
phones next to the road. Stop and look closer. On the phones there
are four emergency numbers listed: Police, ambulance, fire and…
Landrover Service!

Q: What do you find on page 4 and 5 of a Land Rover Owner's Manual?
A: The train & bus timetable.

Q: What is the sport version of a Land Rover?
A: When the driver wears Nike shoes.

Q: What do you call a Land Rover with brakes?
A: Customized.

Q: What do you do if your Landy gets surrounded by a swarm of killer bees?
A: Stop pushing and take refuge inside the vehicle.

Q. Why do the latest models have rear window demisters?
A. To keep your hands warm when pushing.

Land Rover dealers have a special promotion this month…
Buy one, and you get a dog for free!!
Then you don’t have to walk home alone!

11-06-2014, 10:02	#1
briggie Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: peoples democratic republic of west yorkshire Vehicle: " alice " Posts: 10,473	a few landrover jokes They say 90% of all Land Rovers manufactured are still on the road. The other 10% have reached their destination. Land Rovers are just like married women… They moan on long journeys, embarrass you in front of friends and you spend more money than you ever expected once you've committed yourself to one. Traffic cops congratulate you when they issue you a speeding ticket! Why do Land Rovers have jerry cans and gas bottles fitted? So that the driver can make coffee while waiting for AA road assistance. Land Rovers have the best fuel consumption of all 4x4s. That's because they are always being towed by other vehicles. Why do Land Rovers always drive in convoy? They are playing ‘Who’s The Weakest Link?’ When you drive on a toll road, you’ll notice these yellow emergency phones next to the road. Stop and look closer. On the phones there are four emergency numbers listed: Police, ambulance, fire and… Landrover Service! Q: What do you find on page 4 and 5 of a Land Rover Owner's Manual? A: The train & bus timetable. Q: What is the sport version of a Land Rover? A: When the driver wears Nike shoes. Q: What do you call a Land Rover with brakes? A: Customized. Q: What do you do if your Landy gets surrounded by a swarm of killer bees? A: Stop pushing and take refuge inside the vehicle. Q. Why do the latest models have rear window demisters? A. To keep your hands warm when pushing. Land Rover dealers have a special promotion this month… Buy one, and you get a dog for free!! Then you don’t have to walk home alone!