Scottish test

96terrano · 25-07-2013, 00:02

50 pure dead giveaways that you are Scottish, and some history too

1. Scattered showers with outbreaks of sunshine and a cold northerly wind, is your idea of good weather.

2. The only sausage you like is square.

3. You were forced to do Scottish country dancing every year at high school.

4. You have a wide knowledge of local words, and know: Numpty is an idiot, Aye is yes, Aye right is No, Auldjin is someone over 40, and Baltic is cold.

5. You have an irrational need to eat anything from the chippy, as long as its deep-fried - Haggis, pizza, white pudding, sausage, fish, chicken and battered Mars Bars.

6. You used to love destroying your teeth with - Penny Dainties, Wham Bars, Cola Cubes, and Soor Plooms.

7. You always greet people by talking about the weather.

8. Even if you normally hate the Proclaimers, Runrig, Caledonia, Deacon Blue, Big Country, etc, you still love it when they are played in a club abroad. (In fact you'll probably ask the DJ to play it)

9. You have an enormous feeling of dread, even when Scotland plays a diddy team.

10. You are proud that Scotland has the highest number of alcohol and smoking deaths in Europe.

11. You used to watch Glen Michael's Cartoon Cavalcade on a Sunday Afternoon with his lamp Paladdin.

12. You got Oor Wullie and The Broons books Every Christmas.

13. You only enjoy Weir's Way on the telly, when you are pissed.

14. You are able to recognise the regional dialect,(Glasgow) 'Awright pal, gonie gies a wee swatcha yir paper nat, Cheers, magic pal. (Aberdeen) Fitlike Loon? Furryboots ya bin up tae? Fair few quines in the night, min.(Inverness) Ah-eee right enuffff! How's you keeeepeeeen?

15. You know the police are about to arrive when you hear someone shout-Errapolis.

16. You have witnessed a 'Square Go'

17. You know that when you are asked which School you attended they really mean, 'Are you Catholic or Proddy?'

18. You have eaten the following: Mince and Tatties, Cullen Skink, Tunnock's Teacakes, Snowballs and Caramel Wafers, Porridge, Macaroon Bar, Baxter's Soup, Scotch Pie, Oatcakes.

19. A Jakey has asked you for 10p for a cuppa tea.

20. You wait at the shop counter for 1p change.

21. You know that the right response to 'you dancin?' is 'you askin?' followed by 'am askin' and finally 'then am dancin'.

22. You associated sawdust with vomit, coz the 'jannie' always, used to pour it over sick in school.

23. You lose all respect for a groom who doesn't wear a kilt.

24. You don't do shopping, you 'go for the messages.'

25. You're on a bus and the drunk picks you to sit next to.

26. You are able to conduct a 20-minute phone call using three words only, -- Awright, aye, and naw.

27. When you refuse the offer of a drink, you hear, ' you no well?'

28. You have heard the following: You canny fling pieces oot a 20 storey flat,700 hungry weans'll testify to that, If its butter, cheese or jelly, If the breed is plain or pan, The chances o' it reachin earth, Are ninety-nine tae wan?

29. You know that going to a party means bringin a Kerry oot.

30. Your holiday in Benidorm is ruined when you hear there is a heat wave back home.

31. Scotland go 2-0 up against the French, and you immediately think, getting beat 3-2 was 'no a bad result'.

32. You can pronounce: McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, and Kirkcaldy.

33. You love deep fried Pizza.

34. You can't pass a Kebab shop after being at the pub.

35. You are used to four seasons in one day.(Winter, winter, autumn, winter)

36. You can fall when drunk and not spill your drink.

37. You see people wearing shell suits with Burberry accessories, and think 'that's class'.

38. You measure distance in minutes.

39. You understand Rab C. Nesbitt.

40. You go to Saltcoats because you think its abroad.

41. You can make a whole sentence using only swear words.

42. You know what haggis is made with, but you still enjoy it.

43. You know someone who planned their wedding around the football fixtures.

44. You have been to a wedding and the football results have been announced in church.

45. You are not surprised to find one shop selling ALL of the following: Pizzas, Nappies, Fags, Curries, Milk, Paint, Shoes etc.

46. Your seaside home has Calor gas under it.

47. You know that Irn-Bru is a good hang over cure.

48. You could swear before you could count.

49. You would 'nut' a terrorist if they tried to bomb your Airport.

50. You are not only Scottish but Glaswegian when you understand the following- How's it hingin', clatty, boggin', cludgie, Ba'heid, bawbag, and double nougat.
Personal information
Sir William Arrol (1839 - 1913)
Engineer. Responsible for the Forth Rail Bridge and the replacement Tay Rail Bridge which were the two most substantial bridges in the world of their time and are still in constant use today. Also worked on Tower Bridge in London.

John Logie Baird (1888 - 1946)
Engineer. Inventor of the television and later developed ideas such as colour, 3-D and large screen television. Also took out a patent on fibre-optics, a technology now used to carry many telephone calls and traffic on the internet.

Sir James Barrie (1860 - 1937)
Author and Playright. Best known for the creation of Peter Pan, the boy who would not grow up.

Alexander Graham Bell (1847 - 1922)
Born in Edinburgh. Having emigrated to Canada and later the USA, Bell became the inventor of the telephone in 1876.

Joseph Black (1728 - 1799)
Chemist. Professor of Anatomy and Chemistry in Glasgow University (1756) and then Professor of Medicine and Chemistry in Edinburgh (1766). Developed the concept of "Latent Heat" and discovered Carbon Dioxide ("Fixed Air"). Regarded as the Father of Quantitative Chemistry.

Lord John Boyd-Orr (1880 - 1971)
As Director of the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organisation (FAO) Boyd-Orr was the architect of food policies aimed at helping starving nations, for which he was awarded a Nobel Peace prize in 1947.

Sir Thomas Makdougall Brisbane (1773 - 1860)
Soldier and Astronomer, born in Largs, Ayrshire. Governor-General of the Australian colony of New South-Wales. Set up an observatory and catalogued more than 7000 stars. The city of Brisbane (Australia) is named after him.

Robert Burns (1759 - 1796)
Poet and Writer. Amongst many other works he wrote "Auld Lang Syne" which is now sung world-wide at the end of functions and particularly at the end of the year. The Scots celebrate "Burn's Night" on the 25th January.

Sir William Burrell (1861 - 1951)
An eccentric shipowner and compulsive collector of art and antiques. In 1944 he presented 8000 items to the City of Glasgow which form the Burrell Collection, now housed in Pollock Park. He also gave 42 paintings to Berwick-upon-Tweed Art Gallery.

George Cleghorn (1716 - 1794)
Army surgeon who discovered that quinine bark acted as a cure for Malaria, a form of which was endemic in Britain at that time.

Sir Ralph Alexander Cochrane (1895 - 1977)
Air Chief Marshall of the Royal Air Force. Born in Springfield, Fife. He was responsible for planning bombing raids against German industry during World War II, including the 'Dambusters Raid' in 1943.

25-07-2013, 00:02	#1
96terrano Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Dumfries and Galloway, Scotland Vehicle: Nissan Terrano 2.7TD LWB Posts: 8,024	Scottish test 50 pure dead giveaways that you are Scottish, and some history too 1. Scattered showers with outbreaks of sunshine and a cold northerly wind, is your idea of good weather. 2. The only sausage you like is square. 3. You were forced to do Scottish country dancing every year at high school. 4. You have a wide knowledge of local words, and know: Numpty is an idiot, Aye is yes, Aye right is No, Auldjin is someone over 40, and Baltic is cold. 5. You have an irrational need to eat anything from the chippy, as long as its deep-fried - Haggis, pizza, white pudding, sausage, fish, chicken and battered Mars Bars. 6. You used to love destroying your teeth with - Penny Dainties, Wham Bars, Cola Cubes, and Soor Plooms. 7. You always greet people by talking about the weather. 8. Even if you normally hate the Proclaimers, Runrig, Caledonia, Deacon Blue, Big Country, etc, you still love it when they are played in a club abroad. (In fact you'll probably ask the DJ to play it) 9. You have an enormous feeling of dread, even when Scotland plays a diddy team. 10. You are proud that Scotland has the highest number of alcohol and smoking deaths in Europe. 11. You used to watch Glen Michael's Cartoon Cavalcade on a Sunday Afternoon with his lamp Paladdin. 12. You got Oor Wullie and The Broons books Every Christmas. 13. You only enjoy Weir's Way on the telly, when you are pissed. 14. You are able to recognise the regional dialect,(Glasgow) 'Awright pal, gonie gies a wee swatcha yir paper nat, Cheers, magic pal. (Aberdeen) Fitlike Loon? Furryboots ya bin up tae? Fair few quines in the night, min.(Inverness) Ah-eee right enuffff! How's you keeeepeeeen? 15. You know the police are about to arrive when you hear someone shout-Errapolis. 16. You have witnessed a 'Square Go' 17. You know that when you are asked which School you attended they really mean, 'Are you Catholic or Proddy?' 18. You have eaten the following: Mince and Tatties, Cullen Skink, Tunnock's Teacakes, Snowballs and Caramel Wafers, Porridge, Macaroon Bar, Baxter's Soup, Scotch Pie, Oatcakes. 19. A Jakey has asked you for 10p for a cuppa tea. 20. You wait at the shop counter for 1p change. 21. You know that the right response to 'you dancin?' is 'you askin?' followed by 'am askin' and finally 'then am dancin'. 22. You associated sawdust with vomit, coz the 'jannie' always, used to pour it over sick in school. 23. You lose all respect for a groom who doesn't wear a kilt. 24. You don't do shopping, you 'go for the messages.' 25. You're on a bus and the drunk picks you to sit next to. 26. You are able to conduct a 20-minute phone call using three words only, -- Awright, aye, and naw. 27. When you refuse the offer of a drink, you hear, ' you no well?' 28. You have heard the following: You canny fling pieces oot a 20 storey flat,700 hungry weans'll testify to that, If its butter, cheese or jelly, If the breed is plain or pan, The chances o' it reachin earth, Are ninety-nine tae wan? 29. You know that going to a party means bringin a Kerry oot. 30. Your holiday in Benidorm is ruined when you hear there is a heat wave back home. 31. Scotland go 2-0 up against the French, and you immediately think, getting beat 3-2 was 'no a bad result'. 32. You can pronounce: McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, and Kirkcaldy. 33. You love deep fried Pizza. 34. You can't pass a Kebab shop after being at the pub. 35. You are used to four seasons in one day.(Winter, winter, autumn, winter) 36. You can fall when drunk and not spill your drink. 37. You see people wearing shell suits with Burberry accessories, and think 'that's class'. 38. You measure distance in minutes. 39. You understand Rab C. Nesbitt. 40. You go to Saltcoats because you think its abroad. 41. You can make a whole sentence using only swear words. 42. You know what haggis is made with, but you still enjoy it. 43. You know someone who planned their wedding around the football fixtures. 44. You have been to a wedding and the football results have been announced in church. 45. You are not surprised to find one shop selling ALL of the following: Pizzas, Nappies, Fags, Curries, Milk, Paint, Shoes etc. 46. Your seaside home has Calor gas under it. 47. You know that Irn-Bru is a good hang over cure. 48. You could swear before you could count. 49. You would 'nut' a terrorist if they tried to bomb your Airport. 50. You are not only Scottish but Glaswegian when you understand the following- How's it hingin', clatty, boggin', cludgie, Ba'heid, bawbag, and double nougat. Personal information Sir William Arrol (1839 - 1913) Engineer. Responsible for the Forth Rail Bridge and the replacement Tay Rail Bridge which were the two most substantial bridges in the world of their time and are still in constant use today. Also worked on Tower Bridge in London. John Logie Baird (1888 - 1946) Engineer. Inventor of the television and later developed ideas such as colour, 3-D and large screen television. Also took out a patent on fibre-optics, a technology now used to carry many telephone calls and traffic on the internet. Sir James Barrie (1860 - 1937) Author and Playright. Best known for the creation of Peter Pan, the boy who would not grow up. Alexander Graham Bell (1847 - 1922) Born in Edinburgh. Having emigrated to Canada and later the USA, Bell became the inventor of the telephone in 1876. Joseph Black (1728 - 1799) Chemist. Professor of Anatomy and Chemistry in Glasgow University (1756) and then Professor of Medicine and Chemistry in Edinburgh (1766). Developed the concept of "Latent Heat" and discovered Carbon Dioxide ("Fixed Air"). Regarded as the Father of Quantitative Chemistry. Lord John Boyd-Orr (1880 - 1971) As Director of the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organisation (FAO) Boyd-Orr was the architect of food policies aimed at helping starving nations, for which he was awarded a Nobel Peace prize in 1947. Sir Thomas Makdougall Brisbane (1773 - 1860) Soldier and Astronomer, born in Largs, Ayrshire. Governor-General of the Australian colony of New South-Wales. Set up an observatory and catalogued more than 7000 stars. The city of Brisbane (Australia) is named after him. Robert Burns (1759 - 1796) Poet and Writer. Amongst many other works he wrote "Auld Lang Syne" which is now sung world-wide at the end of functions and particularly at the end of the year. The Scots celebrate "Burn's Night" on the 25th January. Sir William Burrell (1861 - 1951) An eccentric shipowner and compulsive collector of art and antiques. In 1944 he presented 8000 items to the City of Glasgow which form the Burrell Collection, now housed in Pollock Park. He also gave 42 paintings to Berwick-upon-Tweed Art Gallery. George Cleghorn (1716 - 1794) Army surgeon who discovered that quinine bark acted as a cure for Malaria, a form of which was endemic in Britain at that time. Sir Ralph Alexander Cochrane (1895 - 1977) Air Chief Marshall of the Royal Air Force. Born in Springfield, Fife. He was responsible for planning bombing raids against German industry during World War II, including the 'Dambusters Raid' in 1943.