joke time

[briggie]

Two aliens land in the Arizona desert near a gas station that is closed for the night. They approach one of the gas pumps, and the younger alien addresses it by saying, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader.'

The gas pump, of course, doesn't respond. The younger alien becomes angry at the lack of response.

The older alien says, 'I'd calm down if I were you.'

The younger alien ignores the warning and repeates his greeting. Again, there is no response.

Miffed at the pump's haughty attitude, he draws his ray gun and says gruffly, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader or I will fire!"

The older alien again warns his comrade saying, 'You probably don't want to do that! I really think that will make him mad.'

'Rubbish,' replies the cocky, young alien. He aims his weapon and opens fire. There is a huge explosion. A massive fireball roars towards him, blows the younger alien off his feet and throws him in a burnt, smoking mess into a cactus patch about 200 yards away.

Half an hour passes. When he finally regains consciousness, he refocuses his three eyes, straightens his bent antenna, and looks dazedly at the older, wiser alien standing over him shaking his big, green head.

'What a ferocious creature!' exclaims the young, fried alien. 'He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?'

The older alien lean over, places a friendly feeler on his crispy fried friend and replies: 'If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, it is that you never mess with a guy who can loop his penis over his shoulder twice and then stick it in his ear.'