Farmer jokes (English of course).....

[lacroupade]

A bloke on a tractor has just driven through the high street full of Saturday morning shoppers shouting "Mark my words,We are doomed, Mother Earth is finished and we are all going to die a slow and painful death"

No need to worry I thought it's only Farmer Geddon.

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A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. Since the equipment arrived when his wife was out of town, he decided to test it on himself first. So, he inserted his willie into one of the tubes, turned on the switch and everything else was automatic!

Soon, he realised that the equipment provided him with much more pleasure than his wife did. When the fun was over, though, and he'd shot his bolt, he quickly realized that he couldn't remove his dick from the machine and things were starting to get a bit sore.

He read the manual frantically but didn't find any useful information on how to disengage himself. He tried every button on the machine, but still without success.

Finally, he decided to call the supplier's Customer Service Hot Line with his mobile phone.

'Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your company. It works fantastic, but how do I remove it from the cow's udder?'

'Don't worry,' replied the customer service rep,..... 'the machine will release automatically, just as soon as it's collected two gallons.'