modern slang

[briggie]

SALAD DODGER - An overweight person.

SWAMP-DONKEY - A deeply unattractive person.

TESTICULATING - Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.

BLAMESTORMING - Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER - A manager, who flies in, craps on everything while making a lot of noise, and then leaves.

MUSHROOM MANAGER - Keeps you in the dark and freeds you bullshit.

SALMON DAY - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.

CUBE FARM - An office filled with cubicles.

SINBAD - Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.

AEROPLANE BLONDE - One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

OH - NO SECOND - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all').

GREYHOUND - A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

JOHNNY-NO-STARS - A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.

MILLENNIUM DOMES - The contents of a Wonder bra, I.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually nothing in there worth seeing.

MONKEY BATH - A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: 'Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!'.

MYSTERY BUS - The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back

TART FUEL - Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.

TRAMP STAMP - Tattoo on a female