Bit of advice? - Page 2

extreme-4x4 · 13-06-2010, 08:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by clivvy

going to report to police, if only to get advice on what he can or cant do. going to check deeds to make sure the "divide" he has created using tarmac (half tarmacced the drive) is correct and precise. Need to find out if him doing this breaks the agreement of shared access. Hes adament its his land, which is fine if its true, but he never went through anything with us when dividing it up, he just did it even though we said dont. He was threatening, he even said "i will threaten you" and its that, that has scared me. I dont like to be threatened because I didnt deserve it. see what the police say. I did make sure I told him "do not touch my car" and told him to go to his solicitor about the matter (he claimed his maybe is a solicitor and hes told him all he needs to know, wonder if that included a few threats?).

Im not going to let the matter rest, but all I am going to do is check the land deeds and the tarmac issue and if he is allowed to threaten me and what he can do if I do park my car there etc etc, need to be clear about things so I can be happy.

up to you buddy BUT to the coppers its your word against his. he could be the biggest arsehole in the world , but they can or will do nothing unless you have witness's.
i have found most even admit they got all shitty . when the coppers visit them with your complaint. but they still wont do any more than talk to them , which wont help " well unless he is a decent chap" but we know he isn't or we wouldnt be chatting about the events here.

my only advise is your the one who has to live there, and your next move is going to change the way you live in your home and possibly surrounding area ... potentially for a very long time ...

honestly try the " have you calmed down" bit first.
you have nothing to loose. if he kicks off again then call the police .... but i fully expect he has calmed down now or just not had a crap day yet

solarman216 · 13-06-2010, 08:33

Some years ago I was involved with a selfbuild group and because of cock ups by the agents in setting out we ended up with a couple of "shared accesses" now although the dividing line was down the middle the owner of that half could not place a bin for instance on his half as it would mean obstucting access for the other person, it all sounds reasonable for reasonable people, but when you get one, like you have, that wants to be difficult, then it can cause so many problems it is untrue, you could end up spending loads of money in court trying to get injunctions etc to stop him doing what we all know he should not be doing, saying it/proving it is one thing, actually getting him to stop is quite another, this is why every legal guy will tel you to sort it out amicably if you can, and the Police will not want to know, unless he goes too far and breaches the peace, and even then they will only deal with the breach of the peace, not with any other issue, and he is NOT ALLOWED to threaten you if he continues to do so he can be arrested, I know this because I had an intruder on my property some months ago and I told him to leave, I have a large yard, and while following him to the gate I noticed a large lever bar laying on the ground, and nowing I would forget it on the way back I picked it up, said guy left, and ten mins later the law was at my gate, saying if I threatened this guy then I would have to accompany then to the station, I told them that if I had been threatening with the bar I would had held it high but I was only carrying it low, it was only when the "intruder" declined to press charges that Mr plod left, and all of this was ON MY OWN LAND, I am told that if I had just physically escorted him from my land that is OK, but I cannot threaten, the law in this country is a bit off to say the least, Rick

clivvy · 13-06-2010, 08:53

Thanks guys. Problem is, the guy threatening doesn't live next door, his mum does. He lives down the road. We don't get on anyway because if this shared drive, and basically from day one, all he has done is being intimidating to get his own way. The shared drive has been an issue for us since they came about, and he's only ever been a dick about it. Acts all pally when he's finished being intense, I can't stand him. We are going to check the deeds, measure up and see if his half Tarmac is ok. Either next time I see him, or next time he taps on the door, I'm going to tell him how it is and record it either on my phone, or get a security camera. I understand about keep the law out of it, but he claims he's spoke to his mate, who's a solicitor, but never ever has he said that he has actually checked the deeds, only that he will do. So it's very unclear. I'm a very easy going chap, and very forgiving and I'll always do anything for anyone, and all he has done is make me feel really bad. I have trouble with my nerves, I'm in propranolol to try and help and I go to therapy groups once a week, and this incident has really upset me.

felixthelogchopper · 13-06-2010, 09:40

Sounds like a chancer to me. It's easy to say his mate is a solicitor, anyone can say that. Up the stakes and tell him your mate is a barrister or judge

One thing to bear in mind, if it gets to the court stage then he has no leg to stand on as he doesn't live there, ie he has no interest in the land to allow him to bring a claim in nuisance, which is what he wants to do ( Hunter v Canary Wharf Ltd ). Funny, you would have thought his solicitor mate would have told him that.

felixthelogchopper · 13-06-2010, 09:47

As for the threatening, that is an offence under Protection from Harassment Act 1997 s2 as he has breached s1 (1&2), can't see any protection under s1 (3) as his course of conduct is not reasonable. He can be prosecuted publically or privately but you will need evidence.

clivvy · 13-06-2010, 10:45

Thanks Felix. Hes a cock no doubt, and its his way of going about things that is upsetting. All he had to do, was say can you not park there for any length of time. id only left the car there an hour, and was going to move it. Part of the issue is they have "seen" me parking it there previously, but my confusion is, hw long did they stand and watch it parked there? because as far as I knew, I have the right of access to my property, and I may well have been loading/unloading stuff from the back, I thought that was ok and didnt require me to ask his permission, which is what he says I havent done.

I cant make up my mind what to do about the threat, and Im not even certain if his threat was to "move your car myself and pull it off the drive" which is something he said, or his threat is to beat me up because hes bigger than me. all i know is i was a bit shocked by his intensenes, his leaning up against my wall/door and threatening me. i felt physically threatened, he was heavy breathing, you know? wound up? and trying to stare me out. thats too much.

i tried to argue that I thought it was a shared drive, and NOT his land, his response was it wasnt shared, i only had right of access over his land. i am reviewing the deeds today. In my argument I apologised if I had misunderstood the deeds, but then told him, because he was going on about his mate, to go back to his solicitor then and clear things up.

he also mentioned the half tarmac thing, can really remember exactly what was said but it lead me to stop him and tell him that we werent being difficult about it, it was him that just went ahead and tarmacced it anyway and wouldnt wait for us. as far as we know, he shouldnt have done it, and now all the water runs off onto the side of our house causing damage, and floods the back garden. ive posted some pics below... Id like to know what we can do, if anything, about what he has done to the drive, so will hopefully get some free legal advise soon...
damage

the spot i was parked, the land he says is HIS

the top of the drive, note the half tarmac job, so tarmac is HIS, concrete is MINE?

Martin60 · 13-06-2010, 11:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by clivvy

Thanks guys. Problem is, the guy threatening doesn't live next door, his mum does. He lives down the road. We don't get on anyway because if this shared drive, and basically from day one, all he has done is being intimidating to get his own way. The shared drive has been an issue for us since they came about, and he's only ever been a dick about it. .

Ca'nt honestly see where hes coming from.
If he does not live there whats his problem.
Have you approached his mother, what does she say.

As for the water/drainage problem since the drive being tarmaced, (badly laid and no edging

) then you do have rights, especially if his water run off is causing damage to your property.

I had same issue after block paving my drive. Luckily neighbour is understanding. between us we installed some drainage chanels and managed to divert some of run off to the road.

clivvy · 13-06-2010, 11:54

well, at the moment its unclear who owns the house. I thought it was his mum, because when I looked into values of our house, i noted theres was sold to I Bower, Irene, the mother. His problem is, hes a dick, and he has soem sort of social power issue. hes bigger than me, and clearly a bully. all the years I have known him, hes used every intimidating tactic to get his own way.

I agree about the drive. They claim we have been awkward. which makes me angry because thats arrogant. we asked him to wait, we would save up, when he refused, we said then do not do anythign to it, but he did. it floods in heavy rain, draining over where the caravan in parked and into the lawn/pathway, its literally a huge puddle. it also collects at the front and runs back, this puddle is what is causing damage to our property. Now, all we are trying to do is defend ourselves by maintaining a status quo over the drive, but hes totally gone over our heads over everything.

I suppose if it came to it, hes no leg to stand on, he has no proof of what we said about the tarmac drive, but then no proof of what he said, yet the drive is still half tarmacced, so its his word against ours, and i think we will come off better.

Not tried talking to his mum, shes nice enough, pleasent old lady, but shell just tell us to talk to carl, and i dont want to, certianly not on the stret, or at his house, or at mine becaus ei feel physically threatend by him so does my girlfriend.

felixthelogchopper · 13-06-2010, 16:47

Try talking to his mum about his negotiating style and explain that you are looking for a solution, not an escalation, but you feel in the face of his aggressive actions that you will have no option but to get the police involved if he continues in the same manner. Reinforce the message that you have never had a problem with her and all you want is to be able to enjoy your property as much as you hope she enjoys hers.Part of your solution is stopping the nuisance of water running off her property and causing the damage to your property which did not exist until the drive was tarmacced. Try to keep it all relaxed and calm, but explain you don't feel able to discuss things with him alone due to his behaviour. If she wishes him to represent her, explain that is ok if she is present as well as a witness to support you. You have to keep your fingers xed that she is more reasonable than him, which will be aided by you making your contact as unthreatening as possible. Hope it all goes well for you.

clivvy · 13-06-2010, 18:42

i'll see how it goes, my other half isnt sure about getting her involved, but im going to say something at soem point. already her visitor today has parked across HALF of the drive...HALF? how stupid are they? grow up!

me and my other half have said simply all we can do is watch the drive. if ANYONE parks there, tell them to move and record it. I have had soem advice on another site, and it seems 9as we expected) theres nothing we can do. basically hes been a c**t but has kept within the realms of legality. apparently yes he can tarmac half the drive as he has the right to maintain his half as well as mine, and vice versa. yet I am confused as the deeds state mutual agreement required.

we measured the tarmac, and hes taken MORE than he should have so hes tarmacced onto "out land", which we shall bring up at our next altercation and quite a substantial amount. apparently we cant do anything now, left it too late. from now on though we are going to record as much as we can, so when he comes round here being pissy, we have some reference i will also record any conversations for my own safety.

im fairly satisified theres not much he can do also...i can tell them not to park there, just as much as he can tell me, the only difference is im nicer than him. i certainly dont plan to be helpful any more, which is a real shame.

JimmyJaffa · 13-06-2010, 19:14

Was going to say who measured the half Stevie wonder?

, Get some lads to take this twat a ride he will never forget, the only thing he will understand.

larson · 13-06-2010, 19:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by JimmyJaffa

Was going to say who measured the half Stevie wonder?

, Get some lads to take this twat a ride he will never forget, the only thing he will understand.

clivvy · 13-06-2010, 19:50

well, with his threatening nature karma will do the rounds sure enough. We measured up the drive, hes gone well over with the tarmac, but we are not going to be pissy about it unless he comes back with more trouble.

(RIP) PLANK · 13-06-2010, 21:17

Quote:

Originally Posted by clivvy

well, with his threatening nature karma will do the rounds sure enough. We measured up the drive, hes gone well over with the tarmac, but we are not going to be pissy about it unless he comes back with more trouble.

it's nice to have somthing in reserve

good idea Clivy!

and I would avoid deliberate confrontaion it's no way to go things just tend to get worse, unless of course your bruce-lee-mohamed (i'm hard) ali, and even then you'r probably just get arrested and he could use the whloe drive while you were inside

clivvy · 13-06-2010, 21:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by PLANK

it's nice to have somthing in reserve

good idea Clivy!

and I would avoid deliberate confrontaion it's no way to go things just tend to get worse, unless of course your bruce-lee-mohamed (i'm hard) ali, and even then you'r probably just get arrested and he could use the whloe drive while you were inside

oh dont worry, not much chance of that im just a skinny wimp, i prefer to get along with people me, something I think he is a stranger to.

13-06-2010, 19:14	#26
JimmyJaffa Senior Member Join Date: May 2010 Location: west midlands Vehicle: Maverick II 2.7 tdi (SWB) Posts: 185	Was going to say who measured the half Stevie wonder?, Get some lads to take this twat a ride he will never forget, the only thing he will understand.

13-06-2010, 08:33	#17
solarman216 Off road maniac Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Bexhill on Sea Vehicle: Y60 Patrol Me, 3 ltr Mrs Posts: 17,429	Some years ago I was involved with a selfbuild group and because of cock ups by the agents in setting out we ended up with a couple of "shared accesses" now although the dividing line was down the middle the owner of that half could not place a bin for instance on his half as it would mean obstucting access for the other person, it all sounds reasonable for reasonable people, but when you get one, like you have, that wants to be difficult, then it can cause so many problems it is untrue, you could end up spending loads of money in court trying to get injunctions etc to stop him doing what we all know he should not be doing, saying it/proving it is one thing, actually getting him to stop is quite another, this is why every legal guy will tel you to sort it out amicably if you can, and the Police will not want to know, unless he goes too far and breaches the peace, and even then they will only deal with the breach of the peace, not with any other issue, and he is NOT ALLOWED to threaten you if he continues to do so he can be arrested, I know this because I had an intruder on my property some months ago and I told him to leave, I have a large yard, and while following him to the gate I noticed a large lever bar laying on the ground, and nowing I would forget it on the way back I picked it up, said guy left, and ten mins later the law was at my gate, saying if I threatened this guy then I would have to accompany then to the station, I told them that if I had been threatening with the bar I would had held it high but I was only carrying it low, it was only when the "intruder" declined to press charges that Mr plod left, and all of this was ON MY OWN LAND, I am told that if I had just physically escorted him from my land that is OK, but I cannot threaten, the law in this country is a bit off to say the least, Rick

13-06-2010, 08:53	#18
clivvy Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Huddersfield Vehicle: Terrano 03 LWB Posts: 6,947	Thanks guys. Problem is, the guy threatening doesn't live next door, his mum does. He lives down the road. We don't get on anyway because if this shared drive, and basically from day one, all he has done is being intimidating to get his own way. The shared drive has been an issue for us since they came about, and he's only ever been a dick about it. Acts all pally when he's finished being intense, I can't stand him. We are going to check the deeds, measure up and see if his half Tarmac is ok. Either next time I see him, or next time he taps on the door, I'm going to tell him how it is and record it either on my phone, or get a security camera. I understand about keep the law out of it, but he claims he's spoke to his mate, who's a solicitor, but never ever has he said that he has actually checked the deeds, only that he will do. So it's very unclear. I'm a very easy going chap, and very forgiving and I'll always do anything for anyone, and all he has done is make me feel really bad. I have trouble with my nerves, I'm in propranolol to try and help and I go to therapy groups once a week, and this incident has really upset me.

13-06-2010, 09:40	#19
felixthelogchopper Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Essex Vehicle: 1996 Ford Maverick 2.7TDi Posts: 284	Sounds like a chancer to me. It's easy to say his mate is a solicitor, anyone can say that. Up the stakes and tell him your mate is a barrister or judge One thing to bear in mind, if it gets to the court stage then he has no leg to stand on as he doesn't live there, ie he has no interest in the land to allow him to bring a claim in nuisance, which is what he wants to do ( Hunter v Canary Wharf Ltd ). Funny, you would have thought his solicitor mate would have told him that.

13-06-2010, 09:47	#20
felixthelogchopper Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Essex Vehicle: 1996 Ford Maverick 2.7TDi Posts: 284	As for the threatening, that is an offence under Protection from Harassment Act 1997 s2 as he has breached s1 (1&2), can't see any protection under s1 (3) as his course of conduct is not reasonable. He can be prosecuted publically or privately but you will need evidence.

13-06-2010, 10:45	#21
clivvy Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Huddersfield Vehicle: Terrano 03 LWB Posts: 6,947	Thanks Felix. Hes a cock no doubt, and its his way of going about things that is upsetting. All he had to do, was say can you not park there for any length of time. id only left the car there an hour, and was going to move it. Part of the issue is they have "seen" me parking it there previously, but my confusion is, hw long did they stand and watch it parked there? because as far as I knew, I have the right of access to my property, and I may well have been loading/unloading stuff from the back, I thought that was ok and didnt require me to ask his permission, which is what he says I havent done. I cant make up my mind what to do about the threat, and Im not even certain if his threat was to "move your car myself and pull it off the drive" which is something he said, or his threat is to beat me up because hes bigger than me. all i know is i was a bit shocked by his intensenes, his leaning up against my wall/door and threatening me. i felt physically threatened, he was heavy breathing, you know? wound up? and trying to stare me out. thats too much. i tried to argue that I thought it was a shared drive, and NOT his land, his response was it wasnt shared, i only had right of access over his land. i am reviewing the deeds today. In my argument I apologised if I had misunderstood the deeds, but then told him, because he was going on about his mate, to go back to his solicitor then and clear things up. he also mentioned the half tarmac thing, can really remember exactly what was said but it lead me to stop him and tell him that we werent being difficult about it, it was him that just went ahead and tarmacced it anyway and wouldnt wait for us. as far as we know, he shouldnt have done it, and now all the water runs off onto the side of our house causing damage, and floods the back garden. ive posted some pics below... Id like to know what we can do, if anything, about what he has done to the drive, so will hopefully get some free legal advise soon... damage the spot i was parked, the land he says is HIS the top of the drive, note the half tarmac job, so tarmac is HIS, concrete is MINE?

13-06-2010, 11:54	#23
clivvy Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Huddersfield Vehicle: Terrano 03 LWB Posts: 6,947	well, at the moment its unclear who owns the house. I thought it was his mum, because when I looked into values of our house, i noted theres was sold to I Bower, Irene, the mother. His problem is, hes a dick, and he has soem sort of social power issue. hes bigger than me, and clearly a bully. all the years I have known him, hes used every intimidating tactic to get his own way. I agree about the drive. They claim we have been awkward. which makes me angry because thats arrogant. we asked him to wait, we would save up, when he refused, we said then do not do anythign to it, but he did. it floods in heavy rain, draining over where the caravan in parked and into the lawn/pathway, its literally a huge puddle. it also collects at the front and runs back, this puddle is what is causing damage to our property. Now, all we are trying to do is defend ourselves by maintaining a status quo over the drive, but hes totally gone over our heads over everything. I suppose if it came to it, hes no leg to stand on, he has no proof of what we said about the tarmac drive, but then no proof of what he said, yet the drive is still half tarmacced, so its his word against ours, and i think we will come off better. Not tried talking to his mum, shes nice enough, pleasent old lady, but shell just tell us to talk to carl, and i dont want to, certianly not on the stret, or at his house, or at mine becaus ei feel physically threatend by him so does my girlfriend.

13-06-2010, 16:47	#24
felixthelogchopper Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Essex Vehicle: 1996 Ford Maverick 2.7TDi Posts: 284	Try talking to his mum about his negotiating style and explain that you are looking for a solution, not an escalation, but you feel in the face of his aggressive actions that you will have no option but to get the police involved if he continues in the same manner. Reinforce the message that you have never had a problem with her and all you want is to be able to enjoy your property as much as you hope she enjoys hers.Part of your solution is stopping the nuisance of water running off her property and causing the damage to your property which did not exist until the drive was tarmacced. Try to keep it all relaxed and calm, but explain you don't feel able to discuss things with him alone due to his behaviour. If she wishes him to represent her, explain that is ok if she is present as well as a witness to support you. You have to keep your fingers xed that she is more reasonable than him, which will be aided by you making your contact as unthreatening as possible. Hope it all goes well for you.

13-06-2010, 18:42	#25
clivvy Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Huddersfield Vehicle: Terrano 03 LWB Posts: 6,947	i'll see how it goes, my other half isnt sure about getting her involved, but im going to say something at soem point. already her visitor today has parked across HALF of the drive...HALF? how stupid are they? grow up! me and my other half have said simply all we can do is watch the drive. if ANYONE parks there, tell them to move and record it. I have had soem advice on another site, and it seems 9as we expected) theres nothing we can do. basically hes been a c**t but has kept within the realms of legality. apparently yes he can tarmac half the drive as he has the right to maintain his half as well as mine, and vice versa. yet I am confused as the deeds state mutual agreement required. we measured the tarmac, and hes taken MORE than he should have so hes tarmacced onto "out land", which we shall bring up at our next altercation and quite a substantial amount. apparently we cant do anything now, left it too late. from now on though we are going to record as much as we can, so when he comes round here being pissy, we have some reference i will also record any conversations for my own safety. im fairly satisified theres not much he can do also...i can tell them not to park there, just as much as he can tell me, the only difference is im nicer than him. i certainly dont plan to be helpful any more, which is a real shame.

13-06-2010, 19:50	#28
clivvy Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Huddersfield Vehicle: Terrano 03 LWB Posts: 6,947	well, with his threatening nature karma will do the rounds sure enough. We measured up the drive, hes gone well over with the tarmac, but we are not going to be pissy about it unless he comes back with more trouble.