Off roading

[zippy656]

So, my friend and I were driving around Salisbury plane and we accidentally ran over a rabbit. He grabbed a can, jumped out of the car, rushed to the rabbit and sprayed it.

The rabbit jumped up, hopped a few feet, turned around and waved. Hopped a few more feet, turned around and waved. Hopped a few more feet, turned around and waved.

I asked my friend "what did you spray on him?" , to which he shows me the can "Hare Spray. Revives dead hare and gives it a continuous wave."

[johnb5177]

Briggie......where are you when we need you......

[briggie]

A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's tes-ticles, and he will stop snoring. "Yeah right!" she says.
A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring, as usual. The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep. Muttering to herself, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of red ribbon and ties it carefully around the dog's tes-ticles. Sure enough, the dog stops snoring. The woman is amazed!
Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out drinking with his buddies.
He climbs into bed, falls asleep and begins snoring loudly. The woman thinks maybe the ribbon might work on him. So, she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of blue ribbon and ties it around her husband's tes-ticles. Amazingly, it also works on him! The woman sleeps soundly.
The husband wakes from his drunken stupor and stumbles into the bathroom. As he stands in front of the toilet, he glances in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon attached to his privates. He is very confused, and as he walks back into the bedroom, he sees the red ribbon attached to his dog's testicles. He shakes his head and looks at the dog and whispers, "I don't know where we were .... or what we did ... but, ... We took first and second place."

[emjaybee]

Originally Posted by zippy656

So, my friend and I were driving around Salisbury plane and we accidentally ran over a rabbit. He grabbed a can, jumped out of the car, rushed to the rabbit and sprayed it.

The rabbit jumped up, hopped a few feet, turned around and waved. Hopped a few more feet, turned around and waved. Hopped a few more feet, turned around and waved.

I asked my friend "what did you spray on him?" , to which he shows me the can "Hare Spray. Revives dead hare and gives it a continuous wave."

You've almost redeemed yourself with that one...

...almost.

[emjaybee]

Originally Posted by briggie

A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's tes-ticles, and he will stop snoring. "Yeah right!" she says.
A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring, as usual. The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep. Muttering to herself, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of red ribbon and ties it carefully around the dog's tes-ticles. Sure enough, the dog stops snoring. The woman is amazed!
Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out drinking with his buddies.
He climbs into bed, falls asleep and begins snoring loudly. The woman thinks maybe the ribbon might work on him. So, she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of blue ribbon and ties it around her husband's tes-ticles. Amazingly, it also works on him! The woman sleeps soundly.
The husband wakes from his drunken stupor and stumbles into the bathroom. As he stands in front of the toilet, he glances in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon attached to his privates. He is very confused, and as he walks back into the bedroom, he sees the red ribbon attached to his dog's testicles. He shakes his head and looks at the dog and whispers, "I don't know where we were .... or what we did ... but, ... We took first and second place."

And just to pour salt into the wound, the king turns up to show you how it's done.

All hail Briggie,



All hail Briggie,

[zippy656]

I guess that explains why I've a blue ribbon.....

[emjaybee]

Ah, yeah, but it's a close second.

[rustic]

So does the one with the yellow ribbon have his tied around his acorns?

"Tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree" and all that lol.

[briggie]

Originally Posted by rustic

So does the one with the yellow ribbon have his tied around his acorns?

"Tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree" and all that lol.

thats very good uncle rustic , you are learning well grasshopper