Married life.....

Dave_Askham · 11-02-2016, 01:04

A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness.
Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the motorway.
You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but...
Something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your
willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it."

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got £9,000 in insurance
compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact! But the thing
is, it doesn't come cheap. It's £1,000 an inch."

The man perks up at this. "So," the doctor says, "It's for you to decide how
many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your
wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a
nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one
before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might
be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision."

The man agrees to talk with his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day. "So," says the doctor, "have you spoken
with your wife?"

"I have," says the man.

"And what is the decision?" asks the doctor.

"We're having granite worktops"

Paff · 11-02-2016, 01:30

emjaybee · 11-02-2016, 09:05

Lazy-Ferret · 11-02-2016, 12:36

Worryingly Suz laughed very loudly.

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johnb5177 · 11-02-2016, 19:35

melissachels · 12-02-2016, 17:32

Pmsl

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11-02-2016, 01:04	#1
Dave_Askham Member Join Date: Oct 2015 Location: North Lincolnshire Vehicle: 05 Terrano 2.7 LWB Posts: 60	Married life..... A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the motorway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but... Something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it." The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got £9,000 in insurance compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's £1,000 an inch." The man perks up at this. "So," the doctor says, "It's for you to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision." The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day. "So," says the doctor, "have you spoken with your wife?" "I have," says the man. "And what is the decision?" asks the doctor. "We're having granite worktops"

11-02-2016, 01:30	#2
Paff Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2014 Location: Just north of Ipswich, Suffolk Vehicle: Terrano II 2.7 SE+ Auto Posts: 1,094

11-02-2016, 09:05	#3
emjaybee Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Oxfordshire Vehicle: 3.0Di SVE '05 5 door. Posts: 1,536

11-02-2016, 12:36	#4
Lazy-Ferret Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Sevenoaks, Kent Vehicle: Terrano 2.7TDi SE Touring Posts: 5,221	Worryingly Suz laughed very loudly. Sent from my SM-T705 using Tapatalk

11-02-2016, 19:35	#5
johnb5177 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Swansea, S.Wales Vehicle: 02Terrano II 3.0 SVE Auto Posts: 1,586

12-02-2016, 17:32	#6
melissachels Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Near Armagh, Northern Ireland Vehicle: half of a T2 2.7td swb Posts: 1,216	Pmsl Sent from my HTC One M8s using Tapatalk