oh well, joke time, good OR bad

zippy656 · 25-11-2008, 07:07

Terrorists have planted a bomb packed with tins of alphabet spagetti. If it goes off it could spell disaster.

zippy656 · 25-11-2008, 07:08

A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. "You aren’t so good in bed either!", he shouted and stormed off to work. By mid morning, he decided he’d better make amends and called home.
"What took you so long to answer?"
"I was in bed."
"What were you doing in bed this late?"
"Getting a second opinion."

zippy656 · 25-11-2008, 08:00

oh dear, bad joke time...

come on mate... they arn't that GOOD

-mex- -mex- -mex- -mex- -mex- -mex-

mav · 25-11-2008, 09:00

If this is to stay here, Just think twice before hitting the submit button!.

Thanks, Mav.

zippy656 · 25-11-2008, 09:30

i say i say i say

what a loverly day,

to go up to a light house keeper and say

give us a quick flash!

floyd500b · 25-11-2008, 09:40

:

(RIP) PLANK · 25-11-2008, 19:29

you know i allways play by the rules and I will accept this one is cutting it bit fine so moderators feel free to moderate:

why did humpty dumpty push his girl friend off the wall?

he wanted to see her crack !

:

floyd500b · 25-11-2008, 19:32

-boxing-

Bibio · 26-11-2008, 08:10

Just bought a Glasgow advent calender ! typical! ALL THE WINDOWS ARE BOARDED UP AND SOMEONE HAS STOLEN THE CHOCOLATES !.

JOHN

floyd500b · 26-11-2008, 14:11

:smile: :smile:

:

Bat21 · 26-11-2008, 14:25

Paddy the electrician got sacked from the U.S. prison service for not servicing the electric chair. He said in his professional opinion it was a death trap!

Thermostat · 26-11-2008, 14:26

:

Paul · 26-11-2008, 14:27

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, “What’s on TV?”
I said, “Dust.”
And then the fight started.

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.”
I bought her some bathroom scales .
And then the fight started.

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station....
And then the fight started.....

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, “Do you know her?”

“Yes,” I sighed, “She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.”

“My God!” says my wife, “who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”
And then the fight started...

Paul · 26-11-2008, 14:31

there were 3 pigs.

the 1st pig went 2 a bar, ordered a drink and gulped it down then went 2 the toilet then left

the 2nd pig went 2 the same bar, ordered a drink and gulped it down then went 2 the toilet and left.

the 3rd pig went 2 the same bar, ordered a drink and gulped it down then was just bout 2 walk out wen the bartender said 2 the lil pig

'r u not gonna go 2 the toilet?'

the lil pig replied 'NO im the lil piggy and i go weee weee weee all the way home'

Bat21 · 26-11-2008, 14:31

Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night.

After 3 hours of amazing s e x Paddy says 'I wonder how the girls are getting on'

25-11-2008, 07:07	#1
zippy656 Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Devizes Wiltshire Vehicle: Nissan Note Ntec 1.5 Posts: 14,138	oh well, joke time, good OR bad Terrorists have planted a bomb packed with tins of alphabet spagetti. If it goes off it could spell disaster.

25-11-2008, 09:40	#6
floyd500b Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: UK Posts: 553	: : : :

25-11-2008, 19:29	#7
(RIP) PLANK Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Central England, in the Heart of the Black Country Vehicle: T2 2004 TDI SE LWB Posts: 7,740	you know i allways play by the rules and I will accept this one is cutting it bit fine so moderators feel free to moderate: why did humpty dumpty push his girl friend off the wall? he wanted to see her crack ! : :

26-11-2008, 14:11	#10
floyd500b Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: UK Posts: 553	:smile: :smile: : :

26-11-2008, 14:27	#13
Paul Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: North West Vehicle: 2002 Terrano 3.0 Di LWB Posts: 1,961	And then the fight started... My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, “What’s on TV?” I said, “Dust.” And then the fight started. My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.” I bought her some bathroom scales . And then the fight started. When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.... And then the fight started..... My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, “Do you know her?” “Yes,” I sighed, “She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.” “My God!” says my wife, “who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?” And then the fight started... __________________ 2002 Terrano 3.0 Di LWB..

25-11-2008, 07:08	#2
zippy656 Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Devizes Wiltshire Vehicle: Nissan Note Ntec 1.5 Posts: 14,138	A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. "You aren’t so good in bed either!", he shouted and stormed off to work. By mid morning, he decided he’d better make amends and called home. "What took you so long to answer?" "I was in bed." "What were you doing in bed this late?" "Getting a second opinion."

25-11-2008, 08:00	#3
zippy656 Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Devizes Wiltshire Vehicle: Nissan Note Ntec 1.5 Posts: 14,138	oh dear, bad joke time... come on mate... they arn't that GOOD -mex- -mex- -mex- -mex- -mex- -mex-

25-11-2008, 09:00	#4
mav Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: South Posts: 1,748	If this is to stay here, Just think twice before hitting the submit button!. Thanks, Mav.

25-11-2008, 09:30	#5
zippy656 Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Devizes Wiltshire Vehicle: Nissan Note Ntec 1.5 Posts: 14,138	i say i say i say what a loverly day, to go up to a light house keeper and say give us a quick flash!

25-11-2008, 19:32	#8
floyd500b Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: UK Posts: 553	-boxing-

26-11-2008, 08:10	#9
Bibio Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Glasgow Scotland Vehicle: Mistral Posts: 262	Just bought a Glasgow advent calender ! typical! ALL THE WINDOWS ARE BOARDED UP AND SOMEONE HAS STOLEN THE CHOCOLATES !. JOHN

26-11-2008, 14:25	#11
Bat21 Administrator Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Shropshire Vehicle: Tonka Toy Posts: 1,044	Paddy the electrician got sacked from the U.S. prison service for not servicing the electric chair. He said in his professional opinion it was a death trap!

26-11-2008, 14:26	#12
Thermostat Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: West Sussex Vehicle: 1999 T2 LWB 2.7 TDI Posts: 127	:

26-11-2008, 14:31	#14
Paul Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: North West Vehicle: 2002 Terrano 3.0 Di LWB Posts: 1,961	there were 3 pigs. the 1st pig went 2 a bar, ordered a drink and gulped it down then went 2 the toilet then left the 2nd pig went 2 the same bar, ordered a drink and gulped it down then went 2 the toilet and left. the 3rd pig went 2 the same bar, ordered a drink and gulped it down then was just bout 2 walk out wen the bartender said 2 the lil pig 'r u not gonna go 2 the toilet?' the lil pig replied 'NO im the lil piggy and i go weee weee weee all the way home' __________________ 2002 Terrano 3.0 Di LWB..