its .........JOKE TIME

briggie · 03-01-2014, 20:12

A man walks into a health-food restaurant after a day at the office, sits down, and orders a nice big dish of brown rice and stir-fried veggies.

He grabs a handful of peanuts from the bowl on the counter by the cash register while he's waiting for his order, and as he starts to chew he hears a voice say, "That's a beautiful tie. Is it silk? Very NICE choice!"

Wondering who would make such a strange comment, he looks around and doesn't see anyone near him who could have been speaking to him. With a shrug, he pops a few more peanuts into his mouth.

Next he hears a voice, "Those shoes are stylin,' my man. Are they Italian leather? They look GRRREAT!"

He whirls around to again but sees no one near him. He glances nervously around and then at his shoes, which he tucks self-consciously under the stool.

A little weirded out, he grabs another handful of peanuts. This time the voice continues with, "That suit looks FANTASTIC! Is it an Armani? Very nice!"

He immediately calls the waiter over and says, "Look. I keep hearing these voices telling me how great my tie, my shoes and my suit look. What's up with that? Am I going CRAZY?"

"Oh," the waiter nonchalantly replies, "those are just the peanuts."

"The PEANUTS?" the astonished man asks, staring at the bowl beside him.

"Yes," replies the waiter, "they're complimentary!"

rustic · 03-01-2014, 20:26

I don't take peanuts (or any other items) from open containers in pubs, or unwrapped chocs in places like Thorntons, there are too many "Walkers" ie people that don't wash their hands after visiting the toilet... yuck...

It's bad enough trying to escape public toilets with out touching the door handle.

Then you buy something, and you are given loose change and you handle the same coins that the walkers have...

You can't win...

Then you go into McDonalds and eat a burger using your fingers... hmmmm..

solarman216 · 03-01-2014, 21:46

I have dogs, if I drop my buttered toast on the floor, always lands buttered side down, doesn't it, I simply pick it up, dust off the big bits of crud and tuck in, done it all my life and very rarely been ill, good dose of dirt does you good, builds the immune system, my immune system is very very good, regards Rick

03-01-2014, 20:12	#1
briggie Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: peoples democratic republic of west yorkshire Vehicle: " alice " Posts: 10,473	its .........JOKE TIME A man walks into a health-food restaurant after a day at the office, sits down, and orders a nice big dish of brown rice and stir-fried veggies. He grabs a handful of peanuts from the bowl on the counter by the cash register while he's waiting for his order, and as he starts to chew he hears a voice say, "That's a beautiful tie. Is it silk? Very NICE choice!" Wondering who would make such a strange comment, he looks around and doesn't see anyone near him who could have been speaking to him. With a shrug, he pops a few more peanuts into his mouth. Next he hears a voice, "Those shoes are stylin,' my man. Are they Italian leather? They look GRRREAT!" He whirls around to again but sees no one near him. He glances nervously around and then at his shoes, which he tucks self-consciously under the stool. A little weirded out, he grabs another handful of peanuts. This time the voice continues with, "That suit looks FANTASTIC! Is it an Armani? Very nice!" He immediately calls the waiter over and says, "Look. I keep hearing these voices telling me how great my tie, my shoes and my suit look. What's up with that? Am I going CRAZY?" "Oh," the waiter nonchalantly replies, "those are just the peanuts." "The PEANUTS?" the astonished man asks, staring at the bowl beside him. "Yes," replies the waiter, "they're complimentary!"

03-01-2014, 20:26	#2
rustic Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Staffordshire Vehicle: Maverick Mk I 2.7 TD LWB Posts: 7,825	I don't take peanuts (or any other items) from open containers in pubs, or unwrapped chocs in places like Thorntons, there are too many "Walkers" ie people that don't wash their hands after visiting the toilet... yuck... It's bad enough trying to escape public toilets with out touching the door handle. Then you buy something, and you are given loose change and you handle the same coins that the walkers have... You can't win... Then you go into McDonalds and eat a burger using your fingers... hmmmm.. __________________ Ford Maverick GLX 1995 2.7TD LWB in illusion silver, 98k miles. Owned since new, for 22 years. Best car I have ever owned. Just wish I could drive it more.

03-01-2014, 21:46	#3
solarman216 Off road maniac Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Bexhill on Sea Vehicle: Y60 Patrol Me, 3 ltr Mrs Posts: 17,431	I have dogs, if I drop my buttered toast on the floor, always lands buttered side down, doesn't it, I simply pick it up, dust off the big bits of crud and tuck in, done it all my life and very rarely been ill, good dose of dirt does you good, builds the immune system, my immune system is very very good, regards Rick __________________ Ex banger racer now off road maniac Lokka on the front with manual hubs Diff lock on rear 3 inch SS straight through exhaust Manly winch bumper with 13000 lb winch 10 spike ground anchor, with multiple straps and blocks Super strong body cills capped with scaffold pole 20% stronger springs all round aggressive off road tyres on wheels so just swap. Aim to get stuck and be completely self sufficient in extraction, love getting muddy, 2ft deep is good but rare.