Classic Irish sayings

[Liam]

Feel free to add English,Welsh or Scottish sayings


Sweating like a nun in a field full of cucumbers
As mad as a box of frogs
Jaysis, shes a set of milkers on her that would feed a mart
Ive a horn on me that would bait (beat) Pavarotti away from a pizza
Ive a horn on me that would bait (beat) a donkey out of a quarry
Shes a face like a chewed toffee
I'm so sick I'd nearly get into bed with me sister
That lad would drink tar from a Wellington boot
I'm so hungry I'd ate a tinkers toenails
I'm so hungry I'd eat a horse and chase the jockey
She has a **** like a wizards sleeve
Me mickeys so hard I'd club a whale
I'm as sick as a small hospital
I'm so hungry I'd eat a small child
She had a face on her like a well slapped arse
You're as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit
My mouth's as dry as a nuns crack
He has rubber-lined pockets so he can steal soup
He thinks manual labour is a Spanish musician
As funny as a burning orphanage
He's so camp, he shites tent pegs
I'm as sick as a plane to Lourdes
I feel like a boiled shite (hungover when leaving)
I'm off like a debs dress
She had a face on her that would drive rats from a barn
As busy as the Dalkey dole office (Very posh area of Dublin)
Sweatin' like a paedophile in a Barney suit
As tight as a nun's knickers
I'm so horny I'd get up on the crack of dawn
I'd crawl a million miles across broken glass to kiss the exhaust of
the van that took her dirty knickers to the laundry.
Up and down like a hoor's knickers
No show pony but would do for a ride around the house
Did your mother find out who your father is yet?
What would ye expect from a pig but a grunt
I left her with a face like a painters radio
A mickey the size of a double-value can of Right Guard
Jaysus, she could breastfeed a crèche
As fit as a butcher's dog
She's got more chins than a Chinese phone book
Not even the tide would take her out
Mother Teresa wouldn't kiss her
Daz wouldn't shift her
Des Kelly wouldn't lay her
A sniper wouldn't take her out
Jaysus, ya wouldn't ride her into battle
If I'd a bag of bruised willies I wouldn't give her one
She has a face on her like a bulldog that's just licked piss off a nettle
She wouldn't get a kick in a stampede
She had a fanny like a badly packed kebab
If I'd a garden full of mickeys I wouldn't let her look over the wall
Give her a boot in the hole and a bucket of mickeys would fall out of her.

[(RIP) PLANK]

i enjoyed reading that