yoo hoo

[briggie]

eyup chaps and chapesses , here I am in Norfolk having a great time , the tinterweb isn't very good down here , so im not on much .......back home in about 2 weeks ....... have you missed me ? ( you can fib if you want )

[Banshee]

Originally Posted by briggie

eyup chaps and chapesses , here I am in Norfolk having a great time , the tinterweb isn't very good down here , so im not on much .......back home in about 2 weeks ....... have you missed me ? ( you can fib if you want )

Where's the jokes at Briggie

[rustic]

Originally Posted by Banshee

Where's the jokes at Briggie

While Briggie's away, the members will play, thought I'd get these in lol...

Here are 10 jokes that only people from Yorkshire will understand! Please enjoy and comment any more Yorkshire jokes you have!


The man from Barnsley
1) A Barnsley man goes to the vet:

Man : “Can yer stopme cat weein’ all rahnd t’house?”

Vet: ” Is it a Tom?”

Man : ” Nor, it’s in t’basket.”


18 Carat
2) A Yorkshiremans dog dies and and as it was his favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.

Yorkshireman: ” Can tha mek a gols statue of yon dog?”

Jeweller: “Do you want it 18 carat?”

Yorkshireman: “No i want it chewin’ a bone yer daft bugger!”



I Spy
3) A Bradford couple are playing ‘I Spy’ in the kitchen.

I spy with my little eye something beginning with T’ said the husband.

“Tea pot?” said the lass “Nay Lass!”

“Tea towel?” said the lass “Nay Lass!”

“Toaster?” said the lass “Nay Lass!” he replied drumming his fingers no the work top.

“Oh I don’t know.” She said at long last “I give in!”

“It’s easy!” he said “I’ts t’oven!”



Eeh Bah Gum!
4)Wrigleys have launched a new website where you can order chewing gum online… It’s called EehBuyGum.com!



T’winters coming
5) Two old ladies are talking in a village in the Dales, one says to the other “You can tell t’winters coming cas t’butters ard.”



Hands on thighs
6) A Yorkshire aerobics instructor said to his class “Hands on thighs!” so they class did… None of them could see a thing.



Pie on a clock
7) What do you call a pie on a clock? ‘Summat to eight!’



Mamma Mia
8)Mamma Mia: classic ABBA song or a Yorkshire kid telling his mum he’s arrived?



Eeh, She Were Thin
9) A Yorkshireman’s wife sadly passes away. He decides to have the words ‘She Were Thine’ engraved on her headstone.
He calls the mason, explains what he wants, then goes to see the stone a few days later. He takes one look and to his horror, finds the mason has engraved ‘She Were Thin’.
He yells: “The blummin’ ‘e’ is missing! Where’s the ‘e’? Tha’s left the blummin’ ‘e’ out lad!”
The mason apologises profusely, and assures the widower it’ll be right on the day.
The day of the funeral comes. The mourners leave the church and head out to the graveyard.
There, in the glow of thr winer son, is the pristine headstone. Upon it inscribed:
“Eeh, She Were Thin.”



It’s t’roof not t’wheels
10) The Lurry Drahver who was spotted frantically chiselling away at the brickwork after his lorry got stuck while passing through a tunnel ?

“Why don’t you let the air in your tyres down a little?” asked a friendly passer by.

“Nay love,” replied the Yorkshireman “it’s t’roof that won’t go under, not t’wheels”

[Thomas61]

[elty001]

A Yorkshire man rings his local Chinese takeaway and asks if they D,liver
No solly we only do Chinese food.

[solarman216]

Enjoy your holls Pete, thoughts with you, Rick & Maggs

[solarman216]

Quick question, if you fold a piece of paper in half 50 times how thick will it be, now I know this cannot be dome physically but given the papers thickness it can be calculated ie double it's thickness each time, so best answers please, but more than you imagine, Rick

[rustic]

Originally Posted by solarman216

Quick question, if you fold a piece of paper in half 50 times how thick will it be, now I know this cannot be dome physically but given the papers thickness it can be calculated ie double it's thickness each time, so best answers please, but more than you imagine, Rick

Thickness of paper say 0.05 mm thick multiplied by 2^50 or 2 to the power 50.

2^10 is 2x2x2x2x2x2x2x2x2x2

Folding paper 50 times if it was possible, would come out at about 100 million kilometres, approx 2/3 distance between the Sun and the earth.

Rustic

[solarman216]

knew you would know the answer,on the ball as normal mate well done keep it up, most people when asked say something like 6ft the more ambitious say empire state building, Rick

[solarman216]

no point in asking you how long it would take to give away a billion pounds at a pound a minute, Rick

[macabethiel]

Originally Posted by rustic

Thickness of paper say 0.05 mm thick multiplied by 2^50 or 2 to the power 50.

2^10 is 2x2x2x2x2x2x2x2x2x2

Folding paper 50 times if it was possible, would come out at about 100 million kilometres, approx 2/3 distance between the Sun and the earth.

Rustic

The problem with 2 to the power of 50 multiplied by the paper thickness of 0.05 begs the question as to how big the piece of paper would be that you start with even if you could fold it !

[solarman216]

Originally Posted by macabethiel

The problem with 2 to the power of 50 multiplied by the paper thickness of 0.05 begs the question as to how big the piece of paper would be that you start with even if you could fold it !

does not mater how big the paper is, it is the thickness we are concerned with, Rick

[macabethiel]

Originally Posted by solarman216

does not mater how big the paper is, it is the thickness we are concerned with, Rick

Yep but if it's bigger than the Universe then how are we going to grow enough trees to make the paper before we can fold it ? lol

[rustic]

Originally Posted by macabethiel

Yep but if it's bigger than the Universe then how are we going to grow enough trees to make the paper before we can fold it ? lol

That's why it can't be done, it's only a hypothetical question.

It would be impossible to fold a piece of paper in half 8 times, that's only 2^3 or 2x2x2

A bit like the chess board, (64 squares) 1 grain of rice on square 1, then twice as much on next square etc. On the last square there will be 2^64 grains of rice.

So here is a question, how many grains of rice on the chess board all together?
If that was possible lol
Using Algebra, Let the total number of grains on square 64 be "x" grains, In terms of "x" how many grains of rice are on the board altogether?
Assuming non lost, stolen, eaten, or blown away lol....

Answer should be an equation containing "x" lol