your rude christmas joke

briggie · 24-12-2015, 20:35

A man is about to jump off London Bridge when he hears a voice behind him. It's Santa Claus.
"Why do this? It's Christmas Eve?" Santa says.
"Because I've lost my job, " the man answered, " my wife has left me, and I have no presents for the kids."
"Ah, I can grant you 3 wishes, " replied Santa, "So when you get up tomorrow your job will be there, your wife will be waiting for you, and there'll be presents for the children."
"Oh Santa - however can I repay you?" gasped the man.
"Well - not a lot of people know this, " came the reply, "But old Santa is gay, you could bend over for me, the elves aren't much good at it."
"Dunno 'bout that, " the man said.
"Oh, go on, " Santa urged, "After all - I granted you 3 wishes, don't be so ungrateful."
"Ok, " the man sighed, as he unzipped his trousers.
Santa did the biz and when he finished the man pulled his trousers back up.
Santa looks at the man and asks "How old are you?"
"47, " came the reply.
"What? And you still believe in Santa Claus?..

don simon · 24-12-2015, 20:37

Ho-ho-ho!

solarman216 · 24-12-2015, 22:15

oh very good, Rick

Blocky10 · 25-12-2015, 00:57

Ha ha. How long have you been waiting to tell that one?

Ian

Davey Boy · 25-12-2015, 09:04

Very good, made my wife chuckle too.
Merry Christmas!

24-12-2015, 20:35	#1
briggie Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: peoples democratic republic of west yorkshire Vehicle: " alice " Posts: 10,473	your rude christmas joke A man is about to jump off London Bridge when he hears a voice behind him. It's Santa Claus. "Why do this? It's Christmas Eve?" Santa says. "Because I've lost my job, " the man answered, " my wife has left me, and I have no presents for the kids." "Ah, I can grant you 3 wishes, " replied Santa, "So when you get up tomorrow your job will be there, your wife will be waiting for you, and there'll be presents for the children." "Oh Santa - however can I repay you?" gasped the man. "Well - not a lot of people know this, " came the reply, "But old Santa is gay, you could bend over for me, the elves aren't much good at it." "Dunno 'bout that, " the man said. "Oh, go on, " Santa urged, "After all - I granted you 3 wishes, don't be so ungrateful." "Ok, " the man sighed, as he unzipped his trousers. Santa did the biz and when he finished the man pulled his trousers back up. Santa looks at the man and asks "How old are you?" "47, " came the reply. "What? And you still believe in Santa Claus?..

24-12-2015, 22:15	#3
solarman216 Off road maniac Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Bexhill on Sea Vehicle: Y60 Patrol Me, 3 ltr Mrs Posts: 17,431	oh very good, Rick __________________ Ex banger racer now off road maniac Lokka on the front with manual hubs Diff lock on rear 3 inch SS straight through exhaust Manly winch bumper with 13000 lb winch 10 spike ground anchor, with multiple straps and blocks Super strong body cills capped with scaffold pole 20% stronger springs all round aggressive off road tyres on wheels so just swap. Aim to get stuck and be completely self sufficient in extraction, love getting muddy, 2ft deep is good but rare.

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24-12-2015, 20:37	#2
don simon Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: Gone. Vehicle: Terrano ii Posts: 2,215	Ho-ho-ho!

25-12-2015, 00:57	#4
Blocky10 Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: Welcome to Norwich, a fine city Vehicle: 2004 Terrano 3.0 SVE Auto Posts: 3,601	Ha ha. How long have you been waiting to tell that one? Ian

25-12-2015, 09:04	#5
Davey Boy Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2015 Location: Dartmoor Vehicle: Patrol ZD30 SVE Posts: 960	Very good, made my wife chuckle too. Merry Christmas!