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Old 16-10-2015, 20:05   #1
briggie
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Talking blonde joke

A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?"
"Yes, dear, it's because you're blonde."

The following day the girl came skipping home from school again.
"Mummy, Mummy," She yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? a, b, c, d, e, f, g!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?"
"Yes, dear, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home from school once again.
"Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a fine pair of 36C breasts.
"Very good," said her somewhat embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?"
"No, dear, it's because you're 25."
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Old 16-10-2015, 22:09   #2
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Love it...

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Old 17-10-2015, 20:50   #3
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Hey, not all blondes are daft

I blame the fake blondes for the reputation

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Old 18-10-2015, 09:39   #4
macabethiel
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Talking Blonde Joke

I think Briggie was having a Blonde Moment and forgot this site is not men only.lol


P.S. This post is meant to be ironic.

Last edited by macabethiel; 18-10-2015 at 09:42. Reason: addendum
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Old 18-10-2015, 11:30   #5
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I pleased to see Pete posting lots of new jokes, must be getting excited about his next holiday...

But here is another blonde joke for all the horse lovers...

A blonde had two horses, but she couldn't tell them apart. So she asked her neighbour for advice. He suggested that she cut the tail off one of the horses. This worked until the other horse snagged his tail on a fence. So the neighbour suggested notching one of the horses ears. This worked until the other horse snagged his ear on a fence. So the neighbour suggested measuring the heights of the horses.

Sure enough the white horse was two inches taller than the black horse.

Goes to show, you should always carry a tape measure.
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Old 18-10-2015, 11:36   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by macabethiel View Post
I think Briggie was having a Blonde Moment and forgot this site is not men only.lol


P.S. This post is meant to be ironic.
I was joking I'm well used to both blonde & women jokes, but I'm not your usual blonde woman now I'm gonna check on the Sunday roast and go finish changing the lower arm & cv on my Mr's mondeo

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Old 19-10-2015, 22:02   #7
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So this rich guy decides to buy helicopter lessons for his blonde girlfriend so she'll have something to keep her occupied instead of filing her nails and putting on make-up all day long.


It does keep her busy for months and months but eventually it comes time when she can be trusted to take her first solo flight. Her instructors ask if she feels ready and she says "yes, and it's about time you asked!"


They decide that it should be quite safe and anyways they will be in contact with her the whole time over the radio from the flight tower.


So they're all ready to go, she's on the pad with the chopper running and radio contact is good and her instructor says "okay, lift off and climb to 500 ft. and level off" so she does.


"How you doing? Everything okay?" they ask.


"just great".


"Well then, take it up to 1500 ft. and level off" say the instructors with confidence. She zooms up quickly and comes to a perfect standstill at exactly 1500 ft.


"Now what do you think?" they ask.


Silence for a couple of seconds, then she gasps "OH my, the view is breathtaking!" and they all smile.


Suddenly, without warning, the chopper just starts to plummet towards the ground and crashes into a big stand of trees.


Horrified, they run down to the scene and are able to pull her from the wreckage and, much to their astonishment, she is hardly hurt.


They check her out and finally ask her "What happenned, you were doing fine!"


"I don't really know" she informs them. "I was trying to enjoy the lovely view but it was cold up there so I shut that big fan off".


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Old 19-10-2015, 22:37   #8
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Hey- hey, a cracker !!!

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