Man goes into a Pharmacy...

Lazy-Ferret · 08-07-2015, 22:10

A man goes into a chemist and asks the pharmacist for a packet of Condoms.

The pharmacist takes a packet off the shelf and says, "Here you go, do you need a bag?"

The man replies, "How dare you! She's very pretty actually"

The Patrolman · 08-07-2015, 23:25

A man goes into a Swedish chemist shop and asks the pharmacist for some deodorant.

The pharmacist asks, "Ball or aerosol?"

The man replies, "Neither I want it for my armpits!"

The Patrolman · 08-07-2015, 23:26

a man walks into a bar...................

ouch!!!!

yep, it was an iron bar.......................

The Patrolman · 08-07-2015, 23:27

Man walks into a bar ......................................

yum

yep it was a sandwich bar.

The Patrolman · 08-07-2015, 23:28

A sandwich walks into a bar

barman:" Sorry we don't serve food"

emjaybee · 08-07-2015, 23:33

A man walks into a bar and says

"Will you lot stop cluttering up this bar and move your damn four by fours"

rustic · 09-07-2015, 06:27

I used to work in West Bromwich years ago, and Boots had a sign in the window, free West Bromwich Albion Tickets for the next game, as they sponsored the team.
My mate was a keen fan, so he goes into Boots, but he was gone quite a long time, eventually he came out.
I said, did you get the tickets?

He said no and showed me what he had got... a packet of condoms.
I said why didn't you get the tickets,
he said ... I was too embarrassed to ask for West Bromwich Albion football tickets so I got these instead.

johnb5177 · 09-07-2015, 12:04

A horse walks into a bar......the barman asks him

Why the long face.............

rustic · 09-07-2015, 12:56

Part of this joke, ie number of Terranos owned, reminds me of Rick, quite the opposite for the other part... having read Ricks recent post lol

rustic · 09-07-2015, 12:58

This could be Alex behind the service desk lol...

rustic · 09-07-2015, 12:59

Yes this one reminds me of Me... just recently celebrated my 20 th anniversary for the Mav lol...

Lazy-Ferret · 09-07-2015, 13:11

Quote:

Originally Posted by rustic

I used to work in West Bromwich years ago, and Boots had a sign in the window, free West Bromwich Albion Tickets for the next game, as they sponsored the team.
My mate was a keen fan, so he goes into Boots, but he was gone quite a long time, eventually he came out.
I said, did you get the tickets?

He said no and showed me what he had got... a packet of condoms.
I said why didn't you get the tickets,
he said ... I was too embarrassed to ask for West Bromwich Albion football tickets so I got these instead.

True story,

When I got married the first time, I was young and even more naive.

We got married in the morning, and had a wedding Lunch for all the guests. We hired the hall for the whole day, so between lunch and the evening do there was a bit of free time, so we kept the bar open, and decided to have a couple of hours for all the old fogies who only see each other at funerals, Christenings, and Weddings to catch up with out the loud noise of disco.

While this was going on, my Bride and I decided to pop over to Ramsgate and visit my Grandad who was dying in Hospital and obviously could not make the wedding. We were still dressed in all our wedding gear, so caused quite a stir in the hospital, but it was so nice to see the look on his face, to see his favourite grandson all togged up to the nines, and about to suffer the same life as him

Anyway, my Dad, had a lovely old Wolseley, which we used as one of the wedding cars, so it had all the Wedding Ribbons on it. He drove us over to the hospital, and on the way back, he asked if I would pop and get him a couple of extra rolls of film for the camera. He stops right outside the doors of Boots, stopping on the double Yellow lines, so I dive out the back of the car, leg it into Boots, and come back out with a tiny paper bag, and jump back into rear of the car.

At this point, instead of driving off as I expected, I see my Dad is killing himself laughing, and literally wiping tears from his eyes, but I have no idea why, and neither does my bride. Finally, he stops laughing for long enough, to explain what it must have looked like to other people to see the wedding car pull up outside a chemist, the groom leap out, rush inside and come back out just as fast, then dive into the back of the car, with his bride, armed with a small package. Just as well we did not have tinted windows...

rustic · 09-07-2015, 13:18

Wouldn't be the same without a LR joke...

johnb5177 · 09-07-2015, 14:05

Love it all..........

don simon · 09-07-2015, 15:25

The whole of China is lit up.
America is full of people driving 4x4 cars.

But if I switch off that standby button on my TV, the whole flipping world is saved.

08-07-2015, 22:10	#1
Lazy-Ferret Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Sevenoaks, Kent Vehicle: Terrano 2.7TDi SE Touring Posts: 5,221	Man goes into a Pharmacy... A man goes into a chemist and asks the pharmacist for a packet of Condoms. The pharmacist takes a packet off the shelf and says, "Here you go, do you need a bag?" The man replies, "How dare you! She's very pretty actually"

09-07-2015, 06:27	#7
rustic Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Staffordshire Vehicle: Maverick Mk I 2.7 TD LWB Posts: 7,825	I used to work in West Bromwich years ago, and Boots had a sign in the window, free West Bromwich Albion Tickets for the next game, as they sponsored the team. My mate was a keen fan, so he goes into Boots, but he was gone quite a long time, eventually he came out. I said, did you get the tickets? He said no and showed me what he had got... a packet of condoms. I said why didn't you get the tickets, he said ... I was too embarrassed to ask for West Bromwich Albion football tickets so I got these instead. __________________ Ford Maverick GLX 1995 2.7TD LWB in illusion silver, 98k miles. Owned since new, for 22 years. Best car I have ever owned. Just wish I could drive it more.

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08-07-2015, 23:25	#2
The Patrolman Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Redcar, Teesside Vehicle: Y60 Patrol 4.2 PeTroll Posts: 2,122	A man goes into a Swedish chemist shop and asks the pharmacist for some deodorant. The pharmacist asks, "Ball or aerosol?" The man replies, "Neither I want it for my armpits!"

08-07-2015, 23:26	#3
The Patrolman Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Redcar, Teesside Vehicle: Y60 Patrol 4.2 PeTroll Posts: 2,122	a man walks into a bar................... ouch!!!! yep, it was an iron bar.......................

08-07-2015, 23:27	#4
The Patrolman Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Redcar, Teesside Vehicle: Y60 Patrol 4.2 PeTroll Posts: 2,122	Man walks into a bar ...................................... yum yep it was a sandwich bar.

08-07-2015, 23:28	#5
The Patrolman Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Redcar, Teesside Vehicle: Y60 Patrol 4.2 PeTroll Posts: 2,122	A sandwich walks into a bar barman:" Sorry we don't serve food"

08-07-2015, 23:33	#6
emjaybee Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Oxfordshire Vehicle: 3.0Di SVE '05 5 door. Posts: 1,536	A man walks into a bar and says "Will you lot stop cluttering up this bar and move your damn four by fours"

09-07-2015, 12:04	#8
johnb5177 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Swansea, S.Wales Vehicle: 02Terrano II 3.0 SVE Auto Posts: 1,586	A horse walks into a bar......the barman asks him Why the long face.............

09-07-2015, 14:05	#14
johnb5177 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Swansea, S.Wales Vehicle: 02Terrano II 3.0 SVE Auto Posts: 1,586	Love it all..........

09-07-2015, 15:25	#15
don simon Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: Gone. Vehicle: Terrano ii Posts: 2,215	The whole of China is lit up. America is full of people driving 4x4 cars. But if I switch off that standby button on my TV, the whole flipping world is saved.