Go Back   :::.Nissan 4x4 Owners Club.::: > General > The Clubs Virtual Pub > Jokes humor and fun

Jokes humor and fun Keep it clean(ish)

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 22-09-2012, 18:48   #1
Terranical
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Resident in Bristol, Terrano in Spain
Vehicle: 1994 Terrano 2.7TD SWB
Posts: 1,398
Default My satnav

I have a little Satnav
It sits there in my car
A Satnav is a driver's friend
It tells you where you are

I have a little Satnav
I've had it all my life
It’s better than the normal ones
My Satnav is my wife

It gives me full instructions
Especially how to drive
"It's thirty miles an hour", it says
"You're doing thirty five"

It tells me when to stop and start
And when to use the brake
And tells me that it's never ever
Safe to overtake

It tells me when a light is red
And when it goes to green
It seems to know instinctively
Just when to intervene

It lists the vehicles just in front
And all those to the rear
And taking this into account
It specifies my gear.

I'm sure no other driver
Has so helpful a device
For when we leave and lock the car
It still gives its advice

It fills me up with counselling
Each journey's pretty fraught
So why don't I exchange it
And get a quieter sort?

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house,
Makes sure I'm properly fed,
It washes all my shirts and things
And - keeps me warm in bed!

Despite all these advantages
And my tendency to scoff,
I do wish that once in a while
I could turn the damned thing off.
Terranical is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22-09-2012, 19:00   #2
melissachels
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Near Armagh, Northern Ireland
Vehicle: half of a T2 2.7td swb
Posts: 1,216
Default

we're not that bad!
melissachels is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22-09-2012, 19:56   #3
supergnome
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Isle of Axholme
Vehicle: T2, 2.7 TDI 2002 lwb
Posts: 955
Default

Oh yes you are!!
Mine can't read a map and don't know left from right.
supergnome is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22-09-2012, 20:05   #4
briggie
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: peoples democratic republic of west yorkshire
Vehicle: " alice "
Posts: 10,473
Default

absolutely brilliant
briggie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22-09-2012, 20:49   #5
melissachels
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Near Armagh, Northern Ireland
Vehicle: half of a T2 2.7td swb
Posts: 1,216
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by supergnome View Post
Oh yes you are!!
Mine can't read a map and don't know left from right.
i can do all of the above, plus fix some bits of my car! i must be special!
melissachels is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 14:17.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
Images online photo albums