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21-02-2010, 23:03 | #1 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: North West
Vehicle: 2002 Terrano 3.0 Di LWB
Posts: 1,961
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The English aproach to snow.
DEC 20th
It's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first we've seen for years. I took a hot toddy out into the garden and watched the snow falling all those fluffy soft flakes drifting gently down clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It's so beautiful and peaceful. DEC 24th We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white glistening snow covering as far as the eye could see. What a fantastic sight, every tree and bush covered with a beautiful white mantle. I shovelled snow for the first time ever an loved it. I did both our driveway and the pavement. Later that day a snowplough came along and accidentally covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved back and shovelled it away again. The children next door built a snowman with coal for eyes and a carrot for a nose, and had a snowball fight, a couple just missed me and hit the car so I threw a couple back and joined in their fun. DEC 26th It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature dropped around minus 8 degrees. Several branches on our trees and bushes snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shovelled our driveway again. Shortly afterwards the snowplough came by and did his trick again. Much of snow is now a brownish-grey. JAN 1st Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon became ice when the temperature dropped again. Bought snow tyres for both our cars. Fell on me arse in the driveway. Went to a physio but nothing was broken. JAN 5th Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought her a 4x4 to get her to work. She slid into a wall and did considerable damage to the right wing. Had another 3 inches of white sh*** last night. Both vehicles are covered in salt and iced up slush That b ****** snowplough came by twice today. Where's that bloody shovel?! JAN 9th More f***king snow. Not a tree or bush on our property that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a paraffin heater which tipped over and nearly torched the f ***ing house. I managed to put the flames out but suffered 2nd degree burns on my hands. Lost all my eye brows and eyelashes. Car slid into a tree on the way to casualty and was written off. JAN 13th F ****ing b ****** white s ***e just keeps on coming down. Have to put on every article of clothing just to go to the post box. The little ***** next door ambushed me with snowballs on the way back - I'll shove that carrot so far up the little pricks arse it'll take a good surgeon hours to find it. If I ever catch the a**hole that drives the snowplough I'll chew open his chest and rip out his heart with my teeth. I think the b ****** hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shovelling and then he accelerates down the street like Michael "f***ing" Schumacher and buries the f***ing driveway again. JAN 17th 6 more sodding inches of f***ing snow and f ***ing ice and f***ing sleet and god knows what other white s**** fell last night. I am in court in 3 months time for assaulting the snowplough driver with an ice-pick. Can' t move my f ****ing toes. Haven't seen the sun for 5 weeks. Minus 8 degrees and more f ***ing snow forecast. F*** THIS, I'M MOVING
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2002 Terrano 3.0 Di LWB.. |
21-02-2010, 23:58 | #2 |
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: basildon essex
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whats the weather like where you paul? raining here mate.
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22-02-2010, 08:40 | #3 |
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Cambridgeshire
Vehicle: 1995 Nissan Patrol
Posts: 115
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When’s the next installment?
What happens after Jan 17th? PS don't worry 'bout the court case wiv the Snow plough driver - I saw the whole thing It was a shovel not an ice pick |
22-02-2010, 08:52 | #4 |
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Scotland
Vehicle: '99 Terrano II SE Touring
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Absolutely BRILLIANT! Laughed my frozen ar*e off with this!!! Roll on Spring!!!
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22-02-2010, 08:58 | #5 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Devizes Wiltshire
Vehicle: Nissan Note Ntec 1.5
Posts: 14,138
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and just for the fun of it its SNOWING agian here in Wiltshire
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22-02-2010, 12:59 | #6 |
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Lancs
Vehicle: Jeep Grand Cherokee 4.0
Posts: 485
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Excellent!
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22-02-2010, 17:00 | #7 |
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: north west
Vehicle: Can't say too embarassing
Posts: 156
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counselling availble from club |
22-02-2010, 17:25 | #8 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: North West
Vehicle: 2002 Terrano 3.0 Di LWB
Posts: 1,961
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The young lady that sent us that, almost got herself banned last night from the local forum we are on down here.. just sent her your replys from here..
All this over a joke..
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2002 Terrano 3.0 Di LWB.. |
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