Time to get things in order, to help those left behind.

rustic · 21-05-2015, 20:36

Well, an odd post, but sadly true, yesterday morning we had the sad news that my step mother had been found dead in bed after the Police had broken down the door. She had been dead a while.
It was a big birthday of mine a few days before, you know the one... free prescriptions, 10% discount at B&Q on Wednesdays, and I had been trying to phone her to thank her for my birthday present over the following few days. We hadn't been able to get through, a friend had called by to take her out on her weekly evening outing... Then the alarm bells started...

As it happens, her brother is organising the funeral, and he asked me if I knew if she had left a will...

We had no idea, my Father had long gone, so she was on her own, and no one knows where or if there is a will. We never talked about it... you don't really do you?
It's not nice searching through her belongings so early on.

No, asking for the will is not money grabbing so and so's, but for things like her wishes for funeral arrangements etc.
We have made a best guess of what we believe she wanted, but believe me, it does nothing to help us with the grieving process.
Have we made the right decision ?

Well she won't complain.

So, even though you might be in great health now, think of those left behind, you never know if, as a couple you both get wiped out in one incident.
Would your loved ones know what to do.

Get that will written... let your immediate family know where it is, and keep it updated for your wishes, life changes, so should your will.

Picking up the pieces only adds to the grief, so think of others left to sort this out.
The solicitor will be sending out a round robin message to all solicitors in the area to search their records.

Richard ( Rustic ).

AlexD333 · 21-05-2015, 20:43

Good speech well made

hope it goes smoothly for you.

briggie · 21-05-2015, 21:12

sincere condolences mate , been there twice , with both mum and dad , not very pleasant .

jims-terrano · 21-05-2015, 21:26

So sorry to hear that Rustic. Have to say though you are talking perfect sense and yeah its a difficult subject.

Sweety · 21-05-2015, 21:46

So very sorry to hear the sad news Rustic & our thoughts are with you & the rest of the family.
TBH i've never got around to making a will yet

but know i'm going to have to get it sorted out sooner than later. I know my parents have one & it's kept at their solicitors

solarman216 · 21-05-2015, 21:50

I am not certain on this but think if a solicitor does a will it is logged onto a central database, but this may only apply to fairly recent ones due to modern technology, sorry none the less of your loss, Rick

rustic · 21-05-2015, 21:54

Thanks guys, I really appreciate your best wishes it helps a lot.

spinna · 21-05-2015, 22:05

So sorry to hear of your loss Rustic.
You have brought up a very important subject that many just put off, myself included. We really don't know what's around the corner. So I will endeavour to get my will sorted sooner rather than later.

21-05-2015, 20:36	#1
rustic Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Staffordshire Vehicle: Maverick Mk I 2.7 TD LWB Posts: 7,825	Time to get things in order, to help those left behind. Well, an odd post, but sadly true, yesterday morning we had the sad news that my step mother had been found dead in bed after the Police had broken down the door. She had been dead a while. It was a big birthday of mine a few days before, you know the one... free prescriptions, 10% discount at B&Q on Wednesdays, and I had been trying to phone her to thank her for my birthday present over the following few days. We hadn't been able to get through, a friend had called by to take her out on her weekly evening outing... Then the alarm bells started... As it happens, her brother is organising the funeral, and he asked me if I knew if she had left a will... We had no idea, my Father had long gone, so she was on her own, and no one knows where or if there is a will. We never talked about it... you don't really do you? It's not nice searching through her belongings so early on. No, asking for the will is not money grabbing so and so's, but for things like her wishes for funeral arrangements etc. We have made a best guess of what we believe she wanted, but believe me, it does nothing to help us with the grieving process. Have we made the right decision ? Well she won't complain. So, even though you might be in great health now, think of those left behind, you never know if, as a couple you both get wiped out in one incident. Would your loved ones know what to do. Get that will written... let your immediate family know where it is, and keep it updated for your wishes, life changes, so should your will. Picking up the pieces only adds to the grief, so think of others left to sort this out. The solicitor will be sending out a round robin message to all solicitors in the area to search their records. Richard ( Rustic ). __________________ Ford Maverick GLX 1995 2.7TD LWB in illusion silver, 98k miles. Owned since new, for 22 years. Best car I have ever owned. Just wish I could drive it more.

21-05-2015, 21:50	#6
solarman216 Off road maniac Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Bexhill on Sea Vehicle: Y60 Patrol Me, 3 ltr Mrs Posts: 17,431	I am not certain on this but think if a solicitor does a will it is logged onto a central database, but this may only apply to fairly recent ones due to modern technology, sorry none the less of your loss, Rick __________________ Ex banger racer now off road maniac Lokka on the front with manual hubs Diff lock on rear 3 inch SS straight through exhaust Manly winch bumper with 13000 lb winch 10 spike ground anchor, with multiple straps and blocks Super strong body cills capped with scaffold pole 20% stronger springs all round aggressive off road tyres on wheels so just swap. Aim to get stuck and be completely self sufficient in extraction, love getting muddy, 2ft deep is good but rare.

21-05-2015, 21:54	#7
rustic Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Staffordshire Vehicle: Maverick Mk I 2.7 TD LWB Posts: 7,825	Thanks guys, I really appreciate your best wishes it helps a lot. __________________ Ford Maverick GLX 1995 2.7TD LWB in illusion silver, 98k miles. Owned since new, for 22 years. Best car I have ever owned. Just wish I could drive it more.

21-05-2015, 20:43	#2
AlexD333 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Uk Vehicle: 2004 Terrano 2.7 TDI Posts: 7,847	Good speech well made hope it goes smoothly for you.

21-05-2015, 21:12	#3
briggie Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: peoples democratic republic of west yorkshire Vehicle: " alice " Posts: 10,473	sincere condolences mate , been there twice , with both mum and dad , not very pleasant .

21-05-2015, 21:26	#4
jims-terrano Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: UK Posts: 12,965	So sorry to hear that Rustic. Have to say though you are talking perfect sense and yeah its a difficult subject.

21-05-2015, 21:46	#5
Sweety Senior Member Join Date: May 2013 Location: Northumberland Vehicle: Terrano 2.7TDI SE LWB Posts: 3,604	So very sorry to hear the sad news Rustic & our thoughts are with you & the rest of the family. TBH i've never got around to making a will yet but know i'm going to have to get it sorted out sooner than later. I know my parents have one & it's kept at their solicitors

21-05-2015, 22:05	#8
spinna Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Telford, Shropshire Vehicle: Nissan Patrol y60 4.2d Posts: 1,287	So sorry to hear of your loss Rustic. You have brought up a very important subject that many just put off, myself included. We really don't know what's around the corner. So I will endeavour to get my will sorted sooner rather than later.