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29-01-2009, 22:45 | #1 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: basildon essex
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Posts: 2,829
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one from the wife
my darling wife sent me this,
> 1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX? > (because they are plugged into a genius) > ----------------------------------------------- > 2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX? > (they don't have enough time) > --- -------------------------------------------- > 3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG? > (they don't stop to ask directions) > ----------------------------------------------- > 4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS? > (because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock) > ------------- ---------------------------------- > (You're laughing, aren't you?!?!) > ----------------------------------------------- > 5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS? > (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties) > ----------------------------------------------- > 6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN? > (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy) > ----------------------------------------------- > 7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN? > (don't know.....it never happened) > ----------------------------------------------- > (C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!) > ----------------------------------------------- > And the personal favorite: > 8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH? > (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn) > ----------------------------------------------- > Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your > heart... > Then you are just an old sour fart! > ----------------------------------------------- > One for the ladies....... > One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. > Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What > setting do I use on th e washing machine?' > 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?' > He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma ..' > > And they say blondes are dumb... > ----------------------------------------------- > A couple is lying in bed. > The man says, > 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.' > The woman replies, > 'I'll miss you...' > ----------------------------------------------- > 'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out > of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I > mowed the lawn like this?' > 'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied. > --------------------------------------------- < /b> > Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? > A: A rumor > ----------------------------------------------- > Dear Lord, > I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And > Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat > him to death. > AMEN > ----------------------------------------------- > Q: Why do little boys whine? > A: They are practicing to be men. > ---------------------------------------------- > Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and > calling your name? > A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough > ----------------------------------------------- > Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? > A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.' tezzer |
30-01-2009, 09:07 | #2 |
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Location: Devizes Wiltshire
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Very good Mrs Tezzer
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30-01-2009, 10:10 | #3 |
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: WALES
Posts: 6,295
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fantastic ... i loved it
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30-01-2009, 11:10 | #4 |
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: Longford, Ireland
Vehicle: Nissan Terrano II '98
Posts: 432
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Yea liked it...none of it true! but was funny!
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30-01-2009, 16:52 | #5 |
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: wirral
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Posts: 99
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finally one for the ladies to laugh and agree with ............ very funny and true.............Louise
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31-01-2009, 13:38 | #6 |
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Norfolk East
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Posts: 1,955
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Still laughing
Thanks from me mrs tezzer |
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