Go Back   :::.Nissan 4x4 Owners Club.::: > General > The Clubs Virtual Pub > Jokes humor and fun

Jokes humor and fun Keep it clean(ish)

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-09-2010, 17:39   #1
briggie
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: peoples democratic republic of west yorkshire
Vehicle: " alice "
Posts: 10,473
Arrow dementia test

Dementia Test

Take this dementia test...


Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert. The saying; "If you don't use it, you will lose it," also applies to the brain, so..... Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. Take the following test and determine if you are losing it or are still "with it."
OK, relax, clear your mind and.... begin.

1. What do you put in a toaster?







Answer: "bread."
If you said "toast," then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself.
If you said, "bread," go to Question 2.

2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?











Answer: Cows drink water.
If you said "milk," please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate, such as Children's World.
" If you said "water," proceed to question 3

3. If a red house is made from red bricks, and a blue house is made from blue bricks, and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a greenhouse made from?










Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said, "green bricks," what the devil are you still doing reading these questions?????
If you said "glass," then go on to Question 4.

4. Twenty years ago, a plane was flying at 20,000 feet over Germany. If you recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany. Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines failed.The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure..... Unfortunately the third engine fails before he has time to attempt an emergency landing, and the plane crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany.
Where would you bury the survivors? . . . in East Germany or West Germany or in "no man's land"?











Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated
If you said, "Don't bury the survivors," proceed to the next question.

5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60 of a degree every minute how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?











Answer: One degree. If you said, "360 degrees" or anything other than "one degree," you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are obviously out of your league. Turn in your pencil, and exit the room. Everyone else proceed to the final question.

6. Without using a calculator -- You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus, and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven.
What was the name of the bus driver?













Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember? It was YOU!!
Now pass this along to all your "friends" and hope they do better than you did!
briggie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-09-2010, 19:12   #2
solarman216
Off road maniac
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
solarman216's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Bexhill on Sea
Vehicle: Y60 Patrol Me, 3 ltr Mrs
Posts: 17,431
Default

I have only had two glasses of wine (large) and I only ffd up on one the last one
solarman216 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 03:53.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
Images online photo albums