Go Back   :::.Nissan 4x4 Owners Club.::: > General > The Clubs Virtual Pub > Jokes humor and fun

Jokes humor and fun Keep it clean(ish)

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 29-05-2010, 23:08   #1
Martin60
Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: North Wales
Vehicle: Terrano11
Posts: 39
Default Asylum seeker

A beautiful fairy appeared one day to an asylum seeker claimant outside the Immigration Offices.

'My good man,' the fairy said,
'I've been told by Gordon Brown to grant you three wishes, since you’ve just arrived in England with your wife and seven children – all costs to be borne by the British Tax Payers.'
The man told the fairy:
'Well, in Sri Lanka where I come from we don't have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.'
The fairy looked at the man's almost toothless grin and
-- PING !!! The Asylum Seeker had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!
'What else?' asked the fairy, 'two more wishes to go'.
The Asylum Seeker refugee claimant now got bolder.
'I need a big house with a three car garage on the Westminster with eight bedrooms – and a Gold Visa Card in each room -for my family and the rest of my refugee relatives who still live in Sri Lanka . I want to bring them all over here.
PING ! - In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three car garage, a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ, and a sparkling swimming pool and a BMW, full of his nephews playing their music.


'One more wish left for you', said the fairy, waving her wand.
The Asylum Seeker refugee claimant really decided to go for broke now and said “I want to be British with British clothes instead of the rags and shawl , and I want to have white skin like the British.'
PING ! - The man was transformed, wearing worn out Stubbies shorts, a dirty Asda T-shirt and a greasy terry-towel hat. He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon.
'What happened to my new teeth?' he wailed. 'Where is my new house? Where’s my Visa Gold Card?'
The fairy said
'Tough luck. Now that you are British,
you're entitled to
sweet f*** all like the rest of us”.
And she disappeared
Martin60 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29-05-2010, 23:40   #2
tezzer
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: basildon essex
Vehicle: transit camper van 1987
Posts: 2,829
Default

lmfao, and it's a pity it cant happen, bloody parasites,

i bet the PC brigade will have a whinge, lol
tezzer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30-05-2010, 10:30   #3
paulp
Senior Member
Click here to find out how to become a paid up member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: essex
Vehicle: nissan mistral 27td
Posts: 1,043
Default asylum seeker

lmao

however its not asylum seekers now

its the dubious africans that have european union freedom of travel that causes the problems.

how do they alledgedly come from a poverty striken part of the world and can afford brand new mercedes and open shops..

sorry getting all bitter and twisted now

paulp
paulp is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 17:38.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
Images online photo albums