Another blonde joke

[rustic]

A blonde and red head are walking in the woods when then red head has a heart attack and falls to the ground.

Shocked, the blonde takes out her phone and calls the police and she shouts, "I think my friend is dead what do I do?".

The policeman on the phone says, "Calm down and listen to me.
First make sure that she really is dead."

There is a silence.

Then a loud gunshot.


The blonde gets back on the phone and says, "Okay, now what?"

[rustic]

Another joke...

The Itch
Once upon a time lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts. Mick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them, but he had to try. One day Mick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, the King's chief doctor. Horatio thought about this and said that he could arrange for Mick to more than satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause Mick readily agreed to the scheme.

The next day, Horatio made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's bra while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio informed the King and Queen that only special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Mick would work as the antidote to cure the itch.

The King, eager to help his Queen, quickly summoned Mick to their chambers. Horatio then slipped Mick the antidote for the itching powder, which he put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Mick worked passionately on the Queen's large and magnificent breasts. The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Mick left satisfied and hailed as a hero. Upon returning to his chamber, Mick found Horatio demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Mick couldn't have cared less and, knowing that Horatio could never report this matter to the King and with a laugh told him to get lost.

The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's underwear. The King immediately summoned Mick.


The moral of the story............


Pay your bills!!!





.

[johnb5177]

[rustic]

In America, a guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game.They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles and everything, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents,"

Dumbfounded her date asked

"What do you mean?"

"Well," she answered "They flipped a coin,one team got it, and then the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, "get the quarterback! get the quarterback! I'm like, hello, it's only 25 cents!"

[rustic]

A ventriloquist was touring Sweden and one night he was performing in a small fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he started going through some of his standard dumb blonde jokes.

Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stood on her chair and started shouting,

"I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes! What makes you think you can stereotype Swedish blonde women that way? What does the color of a woman's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as people. It's people like you who make others think that all blondes are dumb! You and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, all in the name of humor!"

The stunned ventriloquist started to apologize, but the blonde interrupted and screamed:

"You stay out of this. I'm talking to that little sh*t on your lap!" :huh:

[Terranical]

Excellent!

[briggie]

2 blondes at a airport ..... " wow look at those huge planes , how do they fly when they are so big and heavy ? "

the other blonde points to the sky and says " oh that's easy , look how small they are when they are flying "