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01-05-2011, 08:08 | #1 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: peoples democratic republic of west yorkshire
Vehicle: " alice "
Posts: 10,473
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revenge is sweet
CURTAIN RODS
On the first day, she sadly packed her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table by candle-light; she put on soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar,and a bottle of spring-water. When she'd finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar into the hollowcentre of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. On the fourth day, the husband came back with his new girlfriend, and at first all was bliss. Then, slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing out the place. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked! People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they couldn't take the stench any longer, and decided they had to move, but a month later - even though they'd cut their price in half - they couldn't find a buyer for such a stinky house. Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. Then the ex-wife called the husband and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for having the house. Knowing she could have no idea how bad the smell really was,he agreed on a price that was only 1/10 th of what the house had been worth ... but only if she would sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within 2 hours his lawyers delivered the completed paperwork. A week later the husband and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home .....and to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods! I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU? |
01-05-2011, 08:17 | #2 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Devizes Wiltshire
Vehicle: Nissan Note Ntec 1.5
Posts: 14,138
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thats great!
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