Women and Cars?

[lacroupade]

Was just complaining to Daved via BB.....do women EVER do anything about car problems? Do they even notice them????

We have to drive from West Wales to Barrow in Furness this weekend (a 10 hour round trip) for the outlaws 50th wedding anniversary, so took the wifes auto T2 down town to gas it up as its about time hers got a pasting for a change.......came back minus £70 for the diesel, plus another £211 for a pair of tyres and an alignment check (which showed it to be MILES out) cos the fronts were bald as a coot on the outside edges and an easy six points if we got stopped......now watch me try and get the bloody money back....

FAT CHANCE!!

[Muckypup]

My mrs once came home from work and I happened to be outside when I heard her little 1.3 Hyundai pull up. Sounded like a 1970's diesel...
Turned out there was hardly a drip of oil in it (apparently new Hyundai engines use quite a bit of oil????)
So I took her around EVERYTHING. Oil, coolent, tyres, brakes, lamps, told her how to check them all and how to change them... and she actually listened! She now totally looks after her own car, keeps a regular check on things and even reverses up to my 4x4 once a week to run through a rear lamp check!

Think I must have got one of the good ones

[paulp]

Mrs p is generally ok if something dont sound or feel right she will say something.

EXCEPT ......... she thinks there are diesel fairies, you know the ones, when she uses the truck the diesel guage goes down and by some miracle when she gets in again, generally after i have used it the diesel fairies make the guage go up again

paulp

[briggie]

i have nothing at all against women drivers ... they are just like any normal psychopaths

[Deleted account DD]

Had to laugh when I got the message. I reckon its programed into women drivers. Comment from my missus summed it when I pointed out the tyre was worn and the tracking out........................"still drives doesnt it" she says" and is the tyre round?" ....................."whats the problem"

Its all psychology because Paul like me will then do the conscientious but expensive thing and fix the car..........job done............sucker

[lacroupade]

Well at least if Mrs D ever pulls me over I'll know what to say! Lol

[Peasgood]

MALE V FEMALE
AT THE CASH MACHINE
A new sign in the Bank reads:
'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through cash
machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without
leaving their vehicles.

Customers
using this new facility are
requested
to use the procedures outlined below when accessing
their accounts.

After
months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures
have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps
for your gender.'
*******************************


MALE
PROCEDURE:

1...
Drive up to the cash machine.

2.
LOWER your car window.

3.
Insert card into machine and enter
PIN.

4.
Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5.
Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6.
Raise window.

7.
Drive off.

*************************
******
FEMALE
PROCEDURE:

(Unfortunately,
most of this is the Truth.!!)

1.
Drive up to cash machine.

2.
Reverse and back up the required amount to align car
window with the machine.

3.
Put hand brake on, put the window down.

4.
Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat
to locate card.

5.
Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and
hang up.

6.
Attempt to insert card into machine.

7.
Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to
its excessive distance from the car.

8.
Insert card.

9.
Re-insert card the right way.

10.
Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written
on the inside back page.

11.
Enter PIN .

12.
Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13.
Enter amount of cash required.

14.
Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15.
Retrieve cash and receipt.

16.
Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash
inside.

17.
Write debit amount in cheque book and place receipt in
back of it.

18.
Re-check makeup.

19.
Drive forward 2 feet.

20.
Reverse back to cash machine.

21.
Retrieve card.

22.
Re-empty hand bag, locate card
holder,
and place card into the slot provided!

23.
Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind
you.

24.
Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25.
Redial person on mobile phone.

26.
Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27.
Release Hand Brake.

[Thomas-the-Terrano2]

cool have to say was waiting for #21, #27 oh dear.

[Deleted account DD]

Originally Posted by lacroupade

Well at least if Mrs D ever pulls me over I'll know what to say! Lol

Just tell her tyres are better smoothed off

[Lynn]

you men are having a grindle i do all washing and make adams dinner/pack lunch put up with him playing cars and being a petrol head we give birth to your children n dress up like miss mary of sweden when you want us to i do the gerdening take the dogs out kids to school work 50 hours a week beside all that n in return adam sorts my car out he dont moan always has a kiss n a smile for me and iam sure all what your ladies do you you is for love yet tyres need changing n its world war 3,are your kids going in the car? are your ladies not worth you taking time to make sure shes safe shame on you boys!!!!

[briggie]

[briggie]

i used to call my ex wife " thrush " because she was a irritable c--t

[briggie]

[rustic]

Originally Posted by briggie

Brilliant,
So is the left shoe for the UK and right shoe for Europe and USA then?

Cant' wait to see the all weather version, is it a wellie or a wader.

Now what would a thigh boot make.........?

[briggie]